The Secrets of
"Do The Handicapped Go To Hell?"

by Wild Willie Westwood, with sources from all over the Web


The church in South Park is indeed a Catholic one. The first inkling that this is the case is in episode 302, when the boys are given books on the "Station of the Cross" to read.

Why aren't Kenny's parents in Mass?

The full text of Psalm 46:

1. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 2. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; 3. Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
4. There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High. 5. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early. 6. The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted. 7. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
8. Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolations he hath made in the earth. 9. He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire. 10. Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. 11. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

Mr. Mackey says the following verses in this order:

1, 2, 5, 3, 4 (cut off at "place"), 7b

Hukilau — netcasting, which is a community event in Hawaii. Fishermen cast huge nets into the sea and reel them in full of fish.

A hut in the background during the Hukilau number is called Sin Tiki.

A demon is humping the right leg of the tortured soul at screen left when the three tortured souls sing their line

Guests in Hell: Hitler, JFK, JFK Jr., Princess Diana, and Mao Tse Tung (singing), Gene Siskel (enjoying a martini), Michael Landon (singing), Conan O'Brien (several times), Jerry Garcia and another man (singing), Tiny Tim, hanging 10, Walter Matthau (talks to Satan a bit), George Burns (assisting Satan at the spit), Dean Martin and Bob Hope (directing the nets). Four people move past the first man Satan talks to after the song. The same four move past Walter Matthau when he's talking to Satan. Princess Di is one of the four, Michael Landon, another.

For a split-second Randy is superimposed on Liane, who should be in front of him on the way out of church.

"But I've changed, Satan." — Remember Saddam's song, "I Can Change"?

You don't go to hell for not receiving Communion.

Original Sin — Disobedience. Adam sinned against God by disobeying His command against eating of the Fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Why God didn't get to Eve first, I don't know. She ate some first. As a result, disobedience is a part of human nature, the one part we wash away in Baptism.

…"he will say, 'The Body of Christ,' and then you eat it." — Well, you say "Amen" first, then eat it.

NO JESUS
NO PEACE
KNOW JESUS
KNOW PEACE

Short lesson: In the Catholic Church, when the priest mentions Jesus' own words, "eat this, for it is my body" and "drink this, for it is my blood," in the Eucharistic prayers, everything the wafers and the wine were made from is replaced by everything Jesus' body and blood are made from (multiplication and substitution, for you math wizzes), which can amount to the same thing. The problem is whether Jesus was being figurative or literal when he said these words. If he were being figurative, the Jews of his day wouldn't have had any trouble understanding his meaning. The crackers, then, are made of Jesus, not the other way around.

In the condo kitchen, as Satan washes dishes, you can see another symbol of gay pride over his left shoulder: a triangle with a horizontal rainbow set into it.

The confession box still exists in the Catholic Church, but the trend these days is toward face-to-face confession. Still, the confessional process is pretty accurate. For that, they can thank Joe la Brie, S.J. He's a Jesuit priest, and their consultant on Catholic matters for this episode.

Cartman now says he was born in October: "I'd like to start, if I may, back when I was two and a half. It was a cold April morning…" Figure it out.

Oops. Cartman forgot to say whether he put the piece of ham back in the sandwich before putting the sandwich back, but we'll go with the understanding that he did.

Let's see: Mr. Garrison has a cat, Priest Maxi has a dog

"Oh. You're the little Jewish boy, right?" — Priest Maxi has apparently forgotten that he did a Jewish burial service for Ike some time ago.

Cartman quotes Mark 9:43 in his street-corner speech, only it's "…never shall…" not "…will never…"

Ezekiel 5:10 is accurate: Parents will eat their own children, and children will eat their parents. I will punish you by scattering in every direction any who are left alive.