The Guest Stars of
"Something You Can Do With Your Finger"
by Wild Willie Westwood
Harried Mall Manager
The mall manager is a little befuddled, if not easily distracted. He talks to a person as if someone else is whispering in his ear ("Who?" "What?"). Cartman walks through the door with the rest of Fingerbang and auditions for the manager, but he rejects them. Cartman returns with a video, but Timmy ruined the shoot, and there's an added bonus that the manager was pleased with, but which Cartman didn't expect. Fingerbang gets the gig after the mall manager sees the Fingerbang bit. When Fingerbang is at the mall stage, the manager pops in from time to time to remind the group that they should play or leave the stage, with or without their fifth member. Kenny shows up, but is killed by an elevator, the manager tells them to get out, and the group has to wait for Stan's father to show up.
When Randy was still in high school he sang in a choir, and that choir would sing around town. On one of those occasions a record producer stopped by and noticed Randy's singing and asked him to try out for a group to be called the Ghetto Avenue Boys - in New York. Randy jumped at the chance and left everything and everyone he knew behind. The groups recorded its songs and hit it big, and Randy was amazed. Two years later Randy and the group return to the studio to begin recording their next album, but find that their producer is working with a new group, the Avenue Ghetto Street Boys. The Ghetto Avenue Boys had aged and no longer looked like boys, so the producer dropped them like a bad habit. And the group, despite its success, was in debt to the studio, so the members lost their homes, cars, and women. Randy returned to South Park disgraced.
The guards handle security at South Park Mall. The veteran guard, at left, shows the rookie how to handle the crowds, usually by interrogation, sometimes by using a can of pepper spray. He usually says, "Move along, sir." The madman carries a bottle of something strange around claiming that it contains a new strain of anthrax that he will soon unleash upon all of North America. The little girl was just collecting autographs, but the mall guard came and shot some pepper spray at her. She runs away. And the piano player should be familiar to anyone who's ever watched Peanuts on TV or video. In "Cartmanland," Cartman hires the veteran guard to handle security at his new theme park. But the guard starts alerting Cartman to other personnel he needs to run the park smoothly, and Cartman hires them grudgingly, and opens the park up to guests against his original intentions. The guard still employs the pepper gas, which seems to affect Cartman more than it does Stan.
Veteran and Rookie Security Guards, Mall Madman, Little Girl, Piano Player