The Guest Stars of
"Cartman Joins NAMBLA"

by Wild Willie Westwood

North American Man/Boy Love Association, NAMBLA leader, Patrick, Mr. Harris

NAMBLA shows up when it hears that some boy lovers are in jail in South Park. They storm the police station and demand the release of Mr. Garrison and Tony, but Barbrady won't do it, and threatens to arrest them if they don't leave. NAMBLA then meets at the South Park Inn to discusss the FBI arresting some of their members. Cartman enters and asks to join the organization, and the members welcome him. Cartman soon becomes the new poster child. He boasts that he's now part of NAMBLA to his friends, but Stan and Kyle don't want any part of it. Other kids decide to join, though, so Stan and Kyle have sercond thoughts. A dinner is held at the South Park Inn to congratulate Cartman and admit the new kids into NAMBLA. Some of the members give testimony about the boys they've foiund in town. Patrick talks glowingly about Butters while Mr. Harris raves about Timmy. After dinner there's a dance, in which members dance with their new boy partners, and then the men and their boys go to their various hotel rooms to get better acquainted. Another NAMBLA, discussed below, shows up to prevent NAMBLA from having its way with the boys of South Park. The second NAMBLA is successful, and NAMBLA is arrested.


Tony, whose screen name is Tony316, is the first man Cartman meets after going online to look for men - ahem, mature people to hang out with. They meet at Mel's Buffet and talk for a while. Tony offers Cartman some candy, books on Kama Sutra, and a back rub. He's terribly tender, which makes for an insidious approach. Two agents come in and haul Tony away. Cartman immediately suspects Stan and Kyle of messing with his new friendship.

North American Marlon Brando Look Alikes

This second NAMBLA happens to be meeting in town, and Dr. Mephesto is head of that organization. He invites Cartman to join the group, as Cartman has theh size and a bit of the voice to be a Brando lookalike. This NAMBLA meete in the cafeteria at South Park Elementary. One night, agents looking for the North American Man/Boy Love Association find this group instead and have to apologize for the mix-up. It is at this time that Mephesto learns of the other NAMBLA's presence in South Park. He and the others move to confront the other NAMBLA and stop them from molesting any of the town's boys. They reach the hotel and go looking for the other NAMBLA.


He gets to be in the middle of the action as the two NAMBLAs and the FBI converge in the hallway at his hotel, all looking for the town's boys. He's startled thrice: first by nude NAMBLA members, again by the members now dressed, and yet again, but this time by Mephesto's NMBLA. Each time he drops the tray he's holding and then has to get a new tray. It's not known to whom he was delivering food.