The Guest Stars of
"Quintuplets 2000"

by Wild Willie Westwood


The Hobo Clown who sings at the start of the circus show
Clown in blue, Clown in yellow, The Hobo Clown

The blue clown tried to get Stan to smile, to act happy, but Stan would not. Cartman got pissed off and made the clown walk away. The yellow clown simply sold stuff outside the tent. The hobo clown sang a song, and Kenny buys a tape and a copy of the clown's costume. He dresses up as the clown and does karaoke while the other boys practice some acrobatic moves with the quints.

Glacas, Nadia, Natalia, Baltania, and one other
Romanian officials, The Vladchick Quintuplets, Grandmama Vladchick; Mr. Vladchick, the Quints' father

The quintuplets are the stars of the Cirque du Cheville, but their Grandma is looking for a way to escape the circus. After the girls perform, their Grandma dresses them up and all escape through a window. The two Romanian officials who oversee the Vladchicks find them missing and pursue them. They even chase the girls by boat, but run into some explosives after the girls perform an amazing feat to get out of the way. Grandma Vladchick leads the girls to a house, which turns out to be Stan's, and meets Grandpa. She and Grandpa have sex later that night, and she dies in the act. Grandpa is proud of his performance, as Grandma Vladchick is still in bed at noon the following day. Randy tells him she's dead. Later on, the Marshes and the quints see a report, a plea from the quints' father to have his girls returned to him. But the plea is suspect, as the father has a gun to the side of his head. The girls go through several adventures before finally telling everyone just what's wrong with them and then going on a book tour and an appearance on Oprah. Oprah's limousine shows up to take them away


Music Instructor, Romanian President

The music instructor teaches Kenny how to sing, but he advises him and his mom to go to Romania for further instruction and a career there - it seems Romania is a great place to earn a living singing opera. The Romanian president learns of the life the quints are living in South Park, and he sends two of his officials out to get the quints back.

Janet Reno

The Romanian officials come and talk to Janet Reno just before Easter to get her cooperation in retrieving the quints. She agrees to this, and dresses up as an Easter bunny in order to get the girls herself and take them to the officials. She breaks into the Marsh house and rolls a large Easter egg into the living room. The egg goes off and the family scatters and hides. Eventually, the quints are found and whisked away. Janet Reno has done her part.


Lead Agent Collins and other agents, Riot Police

The military agents, led by Collins, come to South Park and order the Marshes to hand over the quintuplets, but the Marshes refuse. There's a stalemate until Janet Reno comes to town and takes the quints with her. Riot police show up in Romania to get Kenny back and return him to South Park in exchange for the girls. Unfortunately, one of the officers has a hair-trigger finger and shoots Kenny to bits. The officers quickly leave.