The Guest Stars of
"The Tooth Fairy's Tats 2000"
by Wild Willie Westwood
Loogie and his boys, including Kolovski
Loogie is a mafioso in the making. His family started the tooth fairy racket several generations ago, and he's the current boss. When Cartman, who has affiliated the boys with Loogie's gang, decides not to give Loogie a cut of the boys' profits, Loogie threatensn to have Kenny tossed into the Platte River. Cartman resists, and Kenny is tossed in by Loogie's boys, but doesn't sink. The Platte River proves too shallow.
Ms. Cartman calls her dentist, Dr. Roberts, and expresses her concern that Cartman has been losing a lot of teeth lately. He tells her he'll be out of town at a convention, and so he'll have to see Cartman when he returns. At the convention, he learns that a lot of kids have been losing their teeth without getting any money from the tooth fairy, so both teeth and money are missing, and he and the other dentists discuss how to solve this mystery. One of the dentists who speaks up is Dr. Roberts.
Dentists, including Dr. Roberts and Mr. Foley
When Cartman and the boys find that they can make serious money by stealing other kids' teeth and putting them under Cartman's pillow and finding a few dollars there the following day, they figure teeth from rich kids would bring in even more money, so they go the Cherry Creek to visit some rich kids' houses and look for teeth. When they visit the house of the rich kid shown above, they find themselves face to face with Loogie's gang. They are taken to Loogie, who explains to them how his family started the tooth fairy racket and describes a few scenes in the process. One of those scenes shows a beat-up boy tied to a chair who is about to get his teeth knocked out by a hammer. As a way to make more money, Cartman enlists the help of a certain Weasel, but Weasel tries to sell Cartman a set of teeth that turned out to be animal teeth, not human ones. Cartman ran him out of the den.
Rich kid in Cherry Creek, Beat-up Boy, Weasel
Dan Akawa went out to report on the Circlovich family after word got out that Billy Circlovich had received $600 from the tooth fairy. He tried to interview Billy, but Billy was too stunned to say much without stammering. Dan asks the parents a few questions, but their answers are brief. It turns out that the AMA set up the interview with the Circlovish family in order to draw out both Loogie's gang and the South Park kids.
Field Reporter Dan Akawa, Billy Circlovich and his parents
Murphy, the Half-Chicken/Half-Squirrel
Murphy is one of the dentists involved in the sting. He tries to be funny, but the other dentists are not amused. The half-chicken/half-squirrel was supposedly a made-up creature the dentists devised to explain why so many kids were losing so many teeth. The dentists had the creature intelligent enough to perform algebra equations before a class of math students. The creature appears after the ADA breaks up the tooth fairy racket and arrested Loogie's gang. It bounces around and chases everyone away from the Circlovish house for a while.