The Secrets of
"A History Channel Thanksgiving"

by Wild Willie Westwood, with sources from all over the Web

"You're watching The History Channel, where the truth is history." - an indictment on The History Channel, 2011, which seems to have run out of legitimate angles to view history from and has now gone on to see if aliens and ghosts have had roles in historic events, like the first Thanksgiving.

It's implied here that the History Channel doesn't recognize that "new data" is just regurgitated data from its own program library.

Who would have thought that Cartman meant downstairs at HIS house instead of at Kyle's house?

Seems humanity didn't progress without the assistance of alien technology.

Stan is 10, but Kyle is still 9.

"Look, if anyone knows about stuffing, it's Natalie Portman!" - Apparently, she stuffs her bra to look more voluptuous.

Green Lantern World is the planet nobody really cares about. It fared poorly in theaters compared to Thor.

Commercials for DeVry Institute and the University of Phoenix get a lot of air play in Southern California.

"He who controls the stuffing, controls the Universe!" - paraphrase of "He who controls the Spice, controls the Universe!" from the movie Dune.