The Guest Stars of
"HumancentiPad"

by Wild Willie Westwood



Japanese Man, Woman, Leslie and Frothgar, Replacement Friend, Dr. Phil, Best Buy Prez, Steve Jobs

The Japanese man and the woman unwittingly agree to participating in the HumancentiPad experiment Apple is trying. The Japanese man is placed at the head of the creature, so any food going through the HumancentiPad goes through him, then through Kyle, then through the woman. After the HumancentiPad is wired, her poop performs some function or other on the iPad attached to her butt.
Leslie and Frothgar are the two Geniuses whom Stan, Gerald, and Butters talk to at the Apple Store. At first, these Geniuses say there's no way out of the agreement, and offer store credit instead, but they also research for some other way for Gerald to get his son back. One of their solutions is to give the boys a replacement friend, but the bous decline. Nothing more is done with this friend. Frothgar is Leslie's boss at the Genius Bar, but Leslie is the one who initiated Gerald into the cult of Apple. This gives Gerald approval power over any agreements Kyle signs online in the future while invalidating retroactively any agreements Kyle had signed before.
Steve Jobs runs Apple and oversees the HumancentiPad experiment. He's frustrated that Kyle is all too willing to sign agreements without reading them. He tries various scenarios to see if Kyle would learn to read contracts before signing, but all of them are fruitless, until something clicks and Kyle finally learns to read agreements. Dr. Phil interviews Cartman about his mom's behavior, and Cartman lets loose. The president of Best Buy appears because it was at one of his stores that allegations of Liane fucking her son in the ass first came out.


Business-Casual G-Men, Apple Man 4, Apple Tech. Rescuer 1. Staffer, Staffer 2, Doctor

All the people here are involved in the development of the HumancentiPad. The Business-Casual G-Men chase Kyle down in order to make him a part of the new device. The first G-Man tells Kyle they're there to fulfill the agreement; the second G-Man reads out Kyle's weight: 83 lbs. Other Apple employees serve to create scenarios that would make Kyle read the agreements before signing or declining the, but Kyle signs every time. Several of them simulate paramedics who show up to take the HumancentiPad apart. They take him to a hospital so a doctor could separate the Humancentipad, but the dcotor needs permission before performing the surgery. He has Kyle read the agreement first, then sign, but Kyle again just signs. In the end, two of the staffers come to take the HumancentiPad apart after Gerald joins the Apple team and goes to work retroactively invalidating all the agreements Kyle signed without reading.


Sizzler Man, Reporter 1, Audience Man, Man and Son

The Sizzler Man is the man Kyle talks to when he's showing off his iPad. The man expresses concern about Apple following him through the iPad and collecting information about his whereabouts. The reporter asks if the HumancentiPad can actually read (the Apple people have had trouble making this thing read contracts before signing). The first man in the audience chides Liane for fucking her son and not giving him a kiss. The second man demonstrates his love for his son by kissing him on the forehead. The father and son reappear at the end of the episode and the dad kisses his boy again.