The Guest Stars of
"The F Word"

by Wild Willie Westwood




Bikers (the lead biker is the last one on the right in the upper row)

Judges, Emmanuel Lewis

These bikers ride into town on loud motorcycles. When they don't receive the kind of attention they were expecting, they start imitating motorcycle motors with their voices and cheeks. When that doesn't work, they resort to musical instruments, roosters, and carnie calls. When they learn that the town has made fag officially mean "Harley rider" and plan to get the definition changed in the dictionary, they plan to disrupt the event and stop the change from happening.
There are five judges, actually, but one of them doesn't have any lines here, so she's not included in the picture. The judges question the boys as to why they are using the term "fag," and the boys reply that it's not because the people they're calling fags are gay, but because they're loud and inconsiderate.
Emmanuel Lewis comes to town to officially change the definition of the word "fag," but has to hold off on it for a while as a Harley rider pulls him away on a chain wrapped around his ankle. He comes back limping, his right leg broken, but he makes the change official.


News Anchor, Field Reporter, Martin, Another Mayor

The news anchor covers the boys' campaign to change the definition of the word "fag" to refer to Harley riders with extremely loud motorcycles and not to gay people. He also notes that even gay groups realize that "fag" isn't used exclusively for "gay people" any more. The field reporter asks kids too young to know what a fag is to point to one, and they point to Harley riders every time. Martin is one of the kids who answers the field reporter's question. The field reporter also covers the event at which the chief editor of Webster's Dictionary, Emmanuel Lewis, shows up to officially define the word "fag" as a Harley rider.
A rival mayor reminds people that "fag" right now is a derogatory term for "homosexual."