The Guest Stars of
"Whale Whores"

by Wild Willie Westwood



Prime Minister Hatoyama, Emperor Akihito

The Marauding Japanese

The marauding Japanese go around killing whales and dolphins, even going so far as to fly into them and killing themselves in the process. Some of those Japanese fly into the Sea Shepherd and destroy it. A Japanese whaling ship captures the three surviving boys and sends them to a Japanese prison. Emperor Akihito visits the prison and talks to the boys about why they're disrupting the whaling industry, and Stan asks why the industry exists. Akihito takes the boys out of prison and reveals why the Japanese hunt the whales and dolphins so relentlessly - a whale and dolphin were the ones who dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima. Stan realizes the error of their ways and tries to clarify who actually did the bombings, but Cartman reminds him of their relentlessness, so Stan has Kyle produce a picture for him with the "actual bombers" in place - a chick and a cow. Stan takes this to Prime Minister Hatoyama, who is backed by the emperor and other Japanese officials. When the prime minister sees who actually dropped the bomb, he has the Japanese go after cows and chickens. In this way does Stan save the whales and dolphins from extinction.

Sea Shepherd Crew

Captain Paul Watson, Benjamin Potts, Luke Van Horn, Woman 1 (Shannon Mann), Woman 2 (Laura Dakin)

Deadliest Catch Captain and Crew

The Sea Shepherd crew thinks it's doing great things and being badass doing them, but Stan is not impressed and shows it how to really make an impact on its whale wars. Captain Watson leads his crew in a stinky butter attack against the Japanese whalers, but they strike back with a rocket-powered harpoon to Watson's head, impaling it and killing Watson. Stan strikes back with a flare gun that sends a flare into the fuel storage section, blowing the ship up. That gets the message across and things are finally happening on Whale Wars. We learn that Luke is an Aussie and that Woman 2 is quite gung ho about being on the show. The Deadliest Catch crew learns of the Whale Wars crew's success and try to put a stop to it by blocking the Sea Shepherd's path at every turn. Several whales sense what the Sea Shepherd is trying to do and haul the Deadliest Catch ship away.


Commentators 2 and 1 (Dan Dierdorf), News Anchor, Larry King, Sid

The two commentators are announcing the Dolphins-Chiefs game when the Japanese rush the field and kill all the Dolphins players just as the game is about to start. The news anchor covers the news about the rise in whale and dolphin killings. Larry King interviews Stan after Stan becomes the new captain of the Sea Shepherd and makes news after making his crew do actual stuff against Japanese whaling ships on Whale Wars. Sid is on to say how wrong this is - Whale Wars should be run like a professional TV program is.


Chet, Girl, Trainer 2, Guide, Trainer 3

Chet and Trainer 2 work at the Denver Aquarium. Chet asks if anyone wants a kiss from a dolphin. The girl wants to, but Randy cuts her off before she could finish saying so. Trainer 2 exclaims that it's a Japanese crowd running towards them when a rumble is heard. The Guide and Trainer 3 are among the victims when the Japanese raid other aquaria and marine parks around the nation.