The Guest Stars of
by Wild Willie Westwood
Dr. Doctor of Hell's Pass Hospital makes a return to the show with this episode by seeing Randy Marsh about constipation. He gives Randy a laxative to take home so his poop comes out easier. Randy lets out a big ol' poop the size and shape of a football. He has Jimbo come over to witness this and to tell the guys at the bar about it. The guys urge him to contract the Guinness Book of World Records. He calls them, but the secretary says that they don't keep track of that record. She tells him to call the EFSM after getting its number from its Web site. Randy gets in touch with the EFSM office in Zurich to report his record, and three of its members come out to Randy's house in Colorado to verify it. Sharon is not happy at all that Randy kept the poop after whe told him to flush it away. Bono hears about it and reports his own record-breaking poop, which is accepted without verification. Randy gets depressed that his record was broken so quickly, but the guys urge him to try again. He does, but now with their help and deliberately. This time at Hell's Pass, a doctor's assistant looks at his belly and finds a piece of poop bigger than the last one and treats it like a fetus. Jimbo runs in and everyone in the room that Randy has to go to Zurich and poop in person, but the assistant advises against it. Randy makes the trip with his family and friends, and Bono is present as well. Randy has a very hard time getting that poop out, but when he finall does, he lets out a huuuge stool almost six feet tall and 250 lbs.
Bono had the record for biggest poop until Randy went and broke it. Bono struck back with an even bigger poop, but his butler told Stan the truth: that Bono doesn't hold the record, he IS the record, and as such, got bigger, and no one could take a poop that big without Bono growing past it. Now, as an adult, he's the biggest poop in existence. No one could beat that record... until Randy did with a poop weighing over 250 lbs. Bono is 200 lbs.
Bono and his butler
The MC presents an award to Bono, who accepts it and launches into his speech when his cell phone rings and he learns that Randy had broken his record. At a ceremony honoring Randy's record, a senator is announcing the new record when someone whispers in his ear and he announces that Bono has sent a special message. The message turns out to be that he's reclaimed the poop record, and he shows off that poop lovingly. A man in the audience cheers wildly for Bono for getting his record back. Sharon is stunned that Bono is involved in this, and Randy is dejected that he lost the record so quickly. After Randy announces his intention to break the record again, an anchorman and his co-anchor talk about it, with the female co-anchor agreeing that she just doesn't get men's fascination with poop.
The MC, The Senator, A Man in the audience, The Anchorpeople