The Guest Stars of
"Cartman Sucks"

by Wild Willie Westwood


Camp New Grace

Leader, Campers, Director

Bradley, Pastor Phiillips, A counselor

Butters' adventure begins when he arrives at Camp with his father, who drops him off there to be cured of his bicuriosity. A camp leader introduces him to the other campers, who are standing around to meet him. The camp director gives him a tour of the place and introduces him to his first accountabilibuddy... who's dead, having hung himself. The director suggests another accountabilibuddy, Bradley, who's always quoting scripture and who seems afraid of his own sexuality. Butters and Bradley become friends quickly, but Bradley is always mindful of bad thoughs concerning the nature of his emotions. The director introduces the campers to Pastor Phillips, who tells them how he got over being gay with the help of prayers and Jesus Christ. The director comments on how God wants his followers straight, at which point a Latino boy brings forth a gun and kills himself with one bullet to the brain. Bradley runs away because of a bad thought he's having about liking Butters, and Butters is called into the camp office for losing Bradley. Steven shows up later to ask what's going on. A counselor rushes in and tells the group that Bradley has been found at a nearby bridge. The director tries to talk him down, but it doesn't help. Butters tries, but he's told to keep out of it, since he's as confused as Bradley is. After the director tells him to stay out of it again, Butters gets fed up and turns to the crowd, asserting that he was not confused until other people told him he was, and that he's not going to be confused again. Being bicurious is fine. Bradley listens and agrees with Butters, and so decides to get back on the bridge's road. Everyone considers this another successful salvation by Jesus Christ.