The Guest Stars of
"Hell On Earth 2006"

by Wild Willie Westwood

Demonius and Zazul

Demonius and Zazul are two of the six elders who sit before Satan at a half table. Demonius acts as Satan's financial conscience, expressing concern at the cost of the party and the logistics of making and transporting a life-size Ferrari cake to the W hotel. Zazul takes charge of the Ferrari cake mission, calling forth three of the most evil souls in Hell: Jeffery Dahmer, Ted Bundy, and John Wayne Gacy. Zazul dresses like a school girl for Halloween, but is forced to change costumes when Satan finds it hotter than his own Crow costume.

The Three Murderers

Jeffery Dahmer, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy

Zazul calls these three Bozos to have a Ferrari cake made for Satan. They find the bakery Zazul refers them to - Napoleon Bakery - and pick up the cake. Unfortunately, they do have a habit of killing, so they end up killing the bakers one by one. woth Gacy killing two of them and Dahmer killing the third. Gacy also kills someone outside who offers to help them, and Dahmer has sex with the man's intestines. Bundy becomes the leader, having the other two position the Ferrari cake onto a flatbed truck, taking charge of the situation when Gacy kills the Good Samaritan, and directing the creation of a new cake when the original one falls off the crane and shatters all over the road. In the original airing, Bundy kills both Dahmer and Gacy before he dies from a stab wound Dahmer inflicted on him, but in subsequent airings, Dahmer kills Bundy with a knife and Gacy kills Dahmer with a rolling pin.

Cardinal Mahoney and the Presiding Bishop

The Catholic Church hears about Satan's party and plan to crash it, as the Church wasn't invited to it. The resident bishop at the cathedral plans to call the fire marshal so the fire department could break up the party, but learns that the fire marshal is at the party, so the clergy procures Knott's Berry Farm wristbands and try to crash the party. They are refused, since their wristbands are the wrong color, but once Satan opens the doors to everyone, the priests return. The one notable thing about the priests in this episode is that some of them have naked kids on leashes, which is a commentary on the continuing existence of pedophile priests in the Church even after the Boston pedophile priest scandal came and went - it seems the Church can't or won't get rid of them, so they're just an accepted fact now. In real life, Cardinal Mahoney is often criticized for not turning over documents to the district attorney relating to pedophile priests under his care.

Biggie Smalls and the airline ticket agent

Biggie Smalls is just one of many celebrities who are summoned into kids' bathrooms on Halloween as kids test the urban legend of summoning a dead person back to life when saying that person's name three times to a mirror. He's summoned first by Butters, then by Kyle, then by Randy, and each time he begins shooting at people. He misses each time. After Kyle summons him, he has Kyle and the other boys buy him a ticket to Los Angeles, but disappears before he has a chance to get on the plane. The ticket agent hands Kyle the ticket Biggie Smalls needs to get to Satan's party. Butters completes the trip to Los Angeles and then borrows a mirror belonging to a catwoman. He says Biggie's name three times quickly, and Biggie appears next to him. He's upset that he's been summoned yet again, but looks around and realizes that he's at the party. He invites Butters in, and Butters gladly accepts, seein' as he's going to get grounded anyway.

Princess Diana and Adolph Hitler, Frank Sinatra, Steve Irwin

Princess Diana appears dressed as Lara Croft. Hitler appears dressed as the "Can you hear me now?" cell guy, carrying his phone everywhere pretending to test it. Frank Sinatra tells Satan about a guy dressed as the Crocodile Hunter, and later on calls Satan a jerk for saying "Hell On Earth 2006" was all about him and not the guests. Steve Irwin appears at the party unaware that he should be in costume. He appears with the stingray that killed him still attached to his chest. At first Satan assumes it's some person dressed as Irwin and tells him that it's too soon to be dressed that way. When Irwin asserts that it's in fact him, Satan has him kicked out for not coming in a costume. Irwin may have returned later, though, as Satan threw open the doors for eeryone to enter, wristband or no.