The Guest Stars of

by Wild Willie Westwood

Al Gore, Cave of the Wind Tour Guide, Steve and Wife

Al Gore shows up to talk to the school about some moster called Manbearpig. No one has heard of that monster before, but Al dresses up as it and tries to scare the boys when he appears at a basketball court they're playing on. He enlists their help in hunting down the monster. They show up at his motel room the next day and talk with him a bit. They are about to head for school when an alarm goes off and Gore declares that Manbearpig has been spotted near a civae. He and the boys go to the cave, the Cave of the Winds, which is a tourist attraction. The tour guide takes them and a bunch of other people through the cave on a tour. Gore tries to alert the crowd to Manbearpig's presence, but the guide knows it was just Gore, so Gore just takes the boys with him in a different direction. The tour guide tells the group about the wind the cave is named for, and then the wind is heard. A woman tells her husband Steven to take a picture of the wind. Gore soon hears the wind. He strikes the cave walls hoping to draw Manbearpig out, but ends up making the cave walls crumbling and sealing the kids behind a wall of rock. Meanwhile, the tour guide leads the group out of the cave before it seals them in, and Al Gore runs out last.

Firefighter and Miner 1, A Ranger and Miner 2, Miner 3

HBC Reporter, Another Firefighter, Miner 4

The first miner shown takes charge of the rescue mission, so he has to plan how to get the boys out, how long it could take, and other logistics. He eventually gets frustrated after the cave gets flooded and he calls the resue mission off. Al Gore shows up again and warns him about the monster that caused the cave-in, showing him the picture. The first fireman asks if that monster is a pigbearman, and Gore corrects him. The second miner asks whom the kids belong to, but the first miner doesn't know. The ranger shown asks about Smuggler's Den after the lead miner tells the rescue team that the boys are most likely in that part of the cave. Al Gore is frustrated that no one believes him about Manbearpig: he says they have to kill it by flooding the cave with hot molten lava. The third miner walks up and asks if that won't kill the boys too, and Al says the boys are already dead.
An HBC reporter shows up to cover the rescue mission. After the cave is flooded, the lead miner calls off the rescue mission. The second firefighter is surprised that the mission is being called off, then asks about the boys being alive still. The lead miner says nothing could have survived the flood. Gore is pleased by this as the boys struggle to get out. Cartman's added weight from the fake treasure sinks both him and Kyle, but somehow... Gore offers a eulogy to the four boys at the funeral, but some rocks nearby begin to move. The fourth miner notices and stands up. Other miners look over and cheer when the boys emerge from the side of the cave. Gore quickly takes credit for saving them, but Stan rebukes him, telling him he knows why he's friendless. Gore doesn't take Stan seriously and dances away in superhero mode, with a towel around him acting as a cape.