The Guest Stars of
"Cartoon Wars, Part I"

by Wild Willie Westwood

SNN Anchor, Professor Thomas, Dylan and Sarah, State Trooper

The SNN Anchor brings in the national aspect to the Family Guy Mohammed controversy, even mentioning that millions of Americans, in order not to be targeted by terrorists, will bury their heads in sand so they don't watch part 2 of a Family Guy two-parter featuring the Muslim Prophet Mohammed. Professor Thomas is called in to show the townsfolk how to bury their heads and live. Dylan volunteers to be the one person who won't bury his head, as he'd be the last one, and there'd be no one to bury his head. Sarah tries to stop him, to no avail. On another note, the state trooper is one of the troopers in the police car giving chase to Cartman and Kyle after they ride past it in the wrong direction. Cartman and Kyle are fishtailing down the highway, and the driving officer begins to do it as well. The driver loses control from too much fishtailing and ends up wrecked in the center divider. Surprisingly, the police car does not blow up.

FOX President, President Bush, al-Zawahri

The President of FOX Network has to deal with the Mohammed controversy in the Family Guy two-parter - in part 1, Mohammed is covered by a floating box. He learns that the show's writers want to show Mohammed for part 2, but President Bush flies in to talk to him about that. Bush is trying to convince the FOX President to tell the Family Guy writers that showing Mohammed will cause riots in America's streets, which may not be worth defending free speech for. Al-Zawahri threatens to retaliate if Family Guy shows Mohammed and takes time to comment on the writing on the show, saying how much it sucks.

Family Guy

Peter, Lois, Chris, Stewie, and Brian Griffin

Guests: David Hasselhoff, Soccer Captain, Mr. T

In this episode, the Griffins riff about Peter inviting a former girlfriend to dinner. Each comment is punctuated by a flashback that doesn't have anything to do with the ex-girlfriend. The flashbacks include David Hasselhoff, for whom Peter acted as KITT, Michael Knight's car; a school soccer captain who took to playing Captain and Tenille songs dressed as Captain Kirk and for whom Peter dressed as Tenille; and Mr. T, whom Peter and the Prophet Mohammed encounter selling tea as they walk down the street.