Deaths on the show

Character

Cause of Death

Kid in Red ShirtKilled and eaten by the Big Black Scary Monster. It spits his skeleton back at the bus.
Rainforest guide PabloKilled by a snake, swallowed whole, and quickly digested. His bones come out the snake's ass.
Grandmama VladchickDied during sex with Grandpa Marsh.
Stan's aunt, Flo KimbleStan's spooky fish killed her.
Betsy DonovanDisemboweled by her toilet.
Jack and Mrs. TenormanUnwittingly killed by Mr. Jenkins. Cartman picked them up and made chili out of them. then fed them to Scott. Turns out Jack was Cartman's father too.
Ms. ChoksondikChoked on Mr. Mackey's dick during sex.
PipCrushed by the reassembled Mecha Streisand.
Fun Fact: Damien might have killed Pip in "Damien," but Matt and Trey let him live.
Miss StevensonJumped off the roof and died without Ike.
Mr. Junichi TakayamaCommited suicide after shaming himself for thinking Tuong Lu Kim was real.
Eric Roberts, Sid Greenfield, and PAEaten by the rest of thr group snowed in at the America's Most Wanted studio.
The kid who went up Mrs. CrabtreeFollowed Kenny out of her snatch.
Mrs. Veronica CrabtreeMurdered by serial killer Michael Deets.
Larry FeganDrowned at the theater during a mass exodus by the attendees. He wasn't wearing his life vest.
Miss EllenSent to the sun by Wendy on a rocket.
WillzyxSent to the moon on a rocket by the boys and dies on the surface.
Tom CruiseSent to the moon on a rocket by the boys and dies on the surface near Willzyx.
Billy Miller's momKilled by one of the Colonel's henchmen as she and Billy try to escape.
Gordon StoltskiKilled at school in a case of mistaken identity by an intruder.
Tooth DecayKilled by Ugly Bob's face.
Ted, the Mayor's aideDies in a car accident while rescuing the boys from homeless people.
Anchorman Chris SwollenballsAs Anchorman Tom, eaten by a colossal guinea pig

Not dead yet!

ChefMauled by a lion and a bear, but lives on as Darth Chef.
In The Stick of Truth Chef is a zombie stitched back together by Clyde. He is a final boss, and dies after being set on fire by Clyde and farted on by Douchebag.
Bill GatesThe general fired at him, but he survived the gunshot.
Mayor McDanielsTried to shoot herself in the head, but survived the gunshot.

Deaths off the show

Grandma TestaburgerUnknown. Principal Victoria breaks the news to Wendy
Grandma Mabel CartmanUnknown. Mentioned when Cartman gets an inheritance from her.
Grandma BroflovskiUnknown. Her corpse was dug up by the boys, eaten by a stray dog, and vomited back up.
Mr. Mackey, Sr.Tooth decay.
Michael JacksonDrug overdose in real life. He has returned as a ghost and then a hologram.

Definitely died and came back

Rob Reiner 1. Melted into a puddle of his own fat (Butt Out)
2. Returns with a goo machine that's supposed to protect him from mockery (200, 201)
Mecha Streisand 1. Destroyed by Robert Smith's Robot Punch (Mecha Streisand)
2. Returns in a much newer, improved model and paired with Krishna by the Super Best Friends (200)
Steven Speilberg and George Lucas 1. Lost their faces and died, as the characters did in Radiers of the Lost Ark (Free Hat)
2. Return and take turns raping Indiana Jones. They are later arrested for this (The China Probrem)
Kim Kardashian 1. She and her family were shot to death by a crazed shopper (Scrotie McButterballs)
2. Returns as a real picture on a poster in Butters' locker. Kanye talks to her on the phone, but we never see her in SP style (The Hobbit)
Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner 1. Hw was shot to death by a crazed shopper (Scrotie McButterballs)
2. Returns as Caitlyn Jenner (Stunning And Brave)
Jesus Christ 1. Shot to death while trying to bring Christmas to Iraqi children (Red Sleigh Down)
2. Rose again (Fantastic Easter Special)
Paris Hilton 1. Mr. Slave swallows her whole with his ass (Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset)
2. Returns with other celebrities (200, 201)
Polly Prissy Pants 1. Cartman destroys her and his other dolls (1%)
2. Cartman restores her (SP:TSOT)
Kanye West 1. Dies making love to other gay fish (Fishsticks, deleted scene)
2. Returns as a recovering gay fish (The Hobbit)
Mark 1. Shot in the head for asking too many questions about the new Taco Bell in town (SP:TSOT)
2. Returns as a Yelp food critic at Whistlin' Willy's (You're Not Yelping)
Jared Fogle 1. Dies in a car explosion with Phil Collins (200)
2. Returns to chase refugee kids into the frat house (Stunning and Brave)
Paul Watson 1. Death by harpoon (Whale Wars)
2. Returns (200)
Eric Roberts 1. Eaten by the townsfolk at Hell's Pass Hospital (Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut)
2. Returns (200)
Rosie O'Donnell 1. Killed (Trapper Keeper)
2. Returns (200)
Scuzzlebutt 1. Killed (Volcano)
2. Returns (SP:BLU)
Kyle 1. Killed by ManBearPig in the real world (Imaginationland: Episode II)
2. Resuscitated by Cartman (Imaginationland: Episode II)
All of Imaginationland, including real people 1. Killed by a nuclear bomb (Imaginationland: Episode III)
2. Reimagined by Butters (Imaginationland: Episode III)
Christophe and many others, including Scuzzlebutt and Bill Gates 1. Died during the US-Canada War (SP:BLU)
2. Satan brings them all back to life, at Kenny's request (SP:BLU)
Background characters It has been asserted that if they die in an episode and return in later episodes, they are members of the cult of Cthulhu.
This is based on the McCormicks' connection to the cult and Kenny's ability to respawn and return as a fourth grader in no time. (Mysterion Rises)

Died more than once

Saddam Hussein 1. Killed by a dense cloud of Canadian farts (Not Without My Anus).
2. Killed by a pack of wild boars (Bigger, Longer & Uncut).
3. Killed by a crowd of pissed off Canadians (Christmas In Canada).
Osama bin Laden 1. Killed by a soldier (Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants)
2. Killed by a paratrooper (It's a Jersey Thing)
3. His death in real life was acknowledged in two episodes. See Tooth Decay above.