South Park Roster

by Wild Willie Westwood

The Regulars

The Marshes
Old Address: 2001 Bonanza St.
South Park, CO. 80439

New address: 260 Avenue de los Mexicanos

Randy: father, geologist
Sharon: mother, receptionist at Tom's Rhinoplasty
Stanley: leader of the pack in blue cap
Shelley: older sister with dental headgear
Jim "Uncle Jimbo" Kern: owner of Jimbo's Guns
Ned Gerblansky: Jimbo's Viet Nam war buddy
Grandpa Marvin: 102 years old
Sparky: gay dog
The Broflovskis
also: Broflofski, Brovlofski
Address: 1002 Aavenue de los Mexicanos
Gerald: father, lawyer
Sheila: mother, activist
Kyle: the smart kid in green duck cap
Ike Moisha: little Canadian brother
Mr. Hankey: the Christmas Poo
The Cartmans
Address: 1002, then 1602, then 28201
On Cartman's backpack: 21208 E. Bonaza Circle
Liane, Mom, er, Dad: crack whore and hermaphrodite
Eric: the fat kid in sky blue cap, goes by Cartman
Kitty, now Mr. Kitty
The McCormicks
Address: 635 Avenue de los Mexicanos
Stuart: father, unemployed, former Pizza Shack employee
Kenny: the poor kid in orange parka, so muffled
Kevin: his older brother
The Stotches
Address: 1020
Chris: Father
Linda: Mother
Butters: from South Carolina
The Tweeks
Address: 17091
Richard: father, coffee maker and seller
Tweek: twitches often. Coffee makes it worse
The Blacks (formerly The Williamses)
Address: exclusive (they're rich)
Bob: Father, lawyer
Linda: Mother, pharmaceutical chemist
Token: only black kid in South Park
The Donovans (formerly the Harrises, the Donovans, the Goodmans)
Address: was 1020, now 2210
Roger: Father
Martha: Mother (renamed Betsy, now dead)
Clyde, Bebe's former love interest
The Valmers (formerly the Swansons)
Address: 1331
Ryan: father
Sarah: mother
Jimmy: on crutches, with speech impediment
The Testaburgers
Address: 28201
Wendy, Stan's sometime girlfriend
The Stevenses
Address: 2010
Bebe, Wendy's best friend
Timmy's Family
Address: ???
Richard: mentally handicapped father
Helen: mentally handicapped mother
Timmy: mentally handicapped boy in electric wheelchair
The Tuckers
Address: 1010
Thomas: father
Craig: watch that middle finger
Little Sister
The Cotswolds
Address: 10477
Mark: home-schooled
Rebecca: home-schooled, awfully nervous
Jesus Christ, aka Jezus
Address: 80122
Only guy in town with fully-stocked wine cellar
Father: God, a hippo-rodent
Mother: Mary (not seen, but Jesus must have her looks)
South Park Elementary
Address: (253) Avenue de los Mexicanos
Principal Victoria
Mr. Mackey, The Counselor (address: 1000)
Ms. Janet (formerly Mr. Herbert) Garrison, former 3rd Grade and Kindergarten teacher, now 4th Grade
(address: 16405, pen name: Ethan F.)
Mr. Hat (put away when Garrison began to teach 4th Grade)
Mr. Twig (killed by Mr. Hat)
Mr. Slave
Ms. Choksondik, 4th Grade teacher (died April 10, 2002)
Richard Adler, shop teacher (address: 2111)
Pearl Choise, home economics teacher
Mrs. Dreible, art teacher
Jerome "Chef" McElroy (address: 10465, killed by a bear and a lion)
Nurse Gollum
Ms. Crabtree, bus driver (found dead at Stark's Pond)
The Groundskeeper
The Students
We haven't met their families yet
Anne Polk (first appeared as Jordan)
Bertha / Rebecca
Bill (the bully with a full head of hair)
Bradley Biggle
DogPoo, aka Dirt
Red, the redhead, aka Bertha, Rebecca Esther
Fosse (the bully with sparse hair)
Heidi Turner
K. C., now Kevin Stoley.
Terrence Mephesto
Pip, killed by Mecha-Streisand 2010
Sally Turner
Tommy Turner
South Park Infrastructure Officer Barbrady (married, but no wife seen yet)
Mayor McDaniels and her aides (one of them is Johnson)
Dr. Alphonse Mephesto, Geneticist (Terrence's father)
Kevin, the monkey boy, Mephesto's little friend
Chief Running Water
Dr. Doctor, Nurse Goodly, and the staff at Hell's Pass Hospital
Priest Maxi
Sister Anne
Two teen dropouts
Sylvester, run over by a truck and killed
Train Station Clerk
Mr. Denkins, rancher
Red Harris, of Luau's Toys.
Schlomo, Squirts leader and Bijou ticket clerk
Tuong Lu Kim, City Wok proprietor.
Local Animal Life Cows
Rocky Mouontain black bears (rare)
Local Media Tom, Channel 4 News anchor
Creamy Goodness, field reporter
Other reporters
Local Band Lords of the Underworld, with
Skyler Moles on lead guitar, once liked Shelley
Jonesy on drums
Mark on bass
Celebrities Santa Claus
Terrance (brunet)
Phillip (blond)
Saddam Hussein, now banished to heaven
Sally Struthers
1989/1991 Denver Broncos
President William Jefferson Clinton
George Walker Bush and his staff

Animated Guests

Voices by Trey Parker (91 references so far)
Voices by Matt Stone (34 references so far)
Voices by Mary Kay Bergman (27 references so far)
Voices by Eliza Schneider (?? references so far)

The Spirit of Christmas
Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Frosty Frosty
Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs. Santa Brian Boitano
The Third Grade Years
101 - Cartman Gets An Anal Probe Aliens
Carl, the Alien
Anal Probe
News Reporter
102 - Weight Gain 4000 Geraldo Rivera
Kathie Lee Gifford
103 - Volcano Scuzzlebutt (with Patrick Duffy)
104 - Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride Frank Hammond
Sports Bookie
Carl, of Carl's Bombs and Explosives and Accessories
Richard Stamos

Big Gay Al

Enrique, Middle Park mascot
Sylvester, meanest dog in South Park
Rex, Clyde's dog
Fifi, French poodle with pink bandana
105 - An Elephant Makes Love To A Pig Elton John
Blond Anchor
Field Reporter Tom
Mutant Stan

Kyle's pet elephant
Fluffy, Cartman's pot-bellied pig
106 - Death Stan's Great-Great-Grandpa
John Warzog, Cartoon Central president

Death, the Grim Reaper
Suzanne Sommers
107 - Pink Eye Mortician
Clinic Doctor
Man in "Let's Get Physical" Shirt
News Anchor Tom
Midget Wearing Bikini

Marty, Mortician's Assistant
Tina Yothers
Mr. Torres, patient
two Russian cosmonauts
Elderly Woman
108 - Damien Damien, Satan's son
Referee Mills Lane

Don King
Roland, Jesus and Pals stagehand
Michael Buffer
109 - Starvin' Marvin Male Red Cross worker
Female Red Cross worker
FBI agents
Mabin, or Marvin
Mabin's tribe, the Ethiopians
A man in love
A woman in love
110 - Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo Mental House receptionist
Philip Glass, minimalist composer
Musacular Mental House nurses
Tree Huggers
111 - Tom's Rhinoplasty Tom, The Rhinoplaster
Photo Dojo photographer
Hakim Qorashqi

Mrs. Campbell
Ms. Ellen / Maqesh Alaq Makaraqesh
Iraqi soldiers
112 - Mecha-Streisand Barbra Streisand / Mecha Barbura Sturaisanda
Leonard Maltin / Lenardu Marutin
Dave, the anchor
Tom, Quadraplegic Swiss man on a pony
Field Reporter
Japanese Singer

Sidney Poitier / Megara Poatia
Tiny twin Japanese princesses
Robert Smith / Rabartu Smitu
113 - Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut Chief Running Water and the Ute Indians
Bob Saget
Clyde Frog
Peter Panda
Polly Prissy Pants
201 - Terrance And Phillip in
Not Without My Anus
Celine Dion
Delivery Man

Ugly Bob
Jury Forewoman

Iraqi Soldiers
American Soldiers
202 - Cartman's Mom Is Still A Dirty Slut John Walsh, host of America's Most Wanted
Sid Greenfield, director for America's Most Wanted
Director's Assistant
Boom Mike Operator
Eric Roberts
Unplanned Parenthood counselor
Congressman O'Reilly
203 - Chickenlover Booktastic Bus driver / Chickenfucker
The Press
COPS film crew
A rancher
204 - Ike's Wee Wee Mr. Mackey's angel
Mr. Mackey's demon
Mr. Freeley
Bum in alley

The A Team, with Mr. T
Betty Ford Clinic counselor
Hippie Chick

Kyle's Uncle Murray, Sheila's brother
Hap, of Hap's Bar
Dr. Schwartz, moyel and family doctor
Train station clerks
205 - Conjoined Fetus Lady Bob Thomas
The Denver Cougars
Tall Chinese Commentator
Short Chinese Commentator
The Chinese Dodgeball Team
206 - The Mexican Staring Frog Of Southern Sri Lanka Tom, Killin' and Huntin' cameraman
Killin' and Huntin' producer
Jesus and Pals producer
Female Audience Member

Bob Denver
Black Audience Member
Audience members
the Viet Cong
a white horse
207 - City On The Edge Of Forever The Kid in the Red Shirt
Mitch, Roofies trafficker
The Scary Monster
Carrot Ass
Jay Leno
Brent Musberger
Marty Adonis (sp?)
John Elway
Talent Scout
Arthur Fonzarelli
The Happy Days gang
208 - Summer Sucks Stu, local fireworks seller
Charlie, Dyno Might pitchman
South Park Elementary Orchestra Conductor
Creamy Goodness
Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop
Swimming Instructor / Lifeguard

Brett Favre
Dr. Jonathan Katz
209 - Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls Robert Redford
Fred Savage
Candice Butch

Candice Butch's Blossom
A Talking Monkey cast as Mr. Hankey
Andy Warhol
Tom Hanks
Tom, a Gay Cowboy
various directors
Marty, director
210 - Chicken Pox Frida, The Prostitute
211 - Roger Ebert Should Lay Off The Fatty Foods Dr. Tristan Adams, planetarium curator
Simon van Gelder

Cosette Thénardier and her mom
Grandma Cartman

Cheesy Poofs Commercial hopefuls
Cheesy Poofs announcer
Call-back Judges
Cheesy Poofs director
Det. Barnaby Jones
Police Commissioner
212 - Clubhouses Roy, Sharon's boyfriend for a while
Fat Abbot and Friends
Fifth Graders
Runaway Eleventh Grade Girls
Their boyfriends
213 - Cow Days Bob, WTHIT Game Show Host
Toss-A-Ball Operator
Chamber of Farts Operator

Tom and Mary, WTHIT Contetants
Leonardo DiCaprio
and date
FBI sharpshooters
Cow Memorial
Jack McMack
Two cowboys, one of them Mitchell
214 - Chef Aid Johnny Cochran, famous defense attorney
Judge Moses
Mr. Big Record Producer, Capitalist Records
Alanis Morissette, singer
Teen M.C.
215 - Spooky Fish Sharon's Aunt Flo
Stan's Spooky Goldfish
Evil Stan
Evil Cartman

Evil Kyle
Indian Burial Ground Pet Store clerk
216 - Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson Charlie Manson
Cartman's Uncle Howard
Grandpa Harold and Grandma
Great-Grandma Florence
Uncle Stinky
Aunt Lisa
Cousin Fred
Cousin Alexandra
Fat Bob
Jimmy, the fat bulldog
Cousin Elvin
Mall Hankey
Mall Hankey Helper
Police, with Chief Stevens
Robert Pooner, Reporter
217 - Gnomes John Postem
The South Park Town Committee
The Underpants Gnomes
Camel Joe, Harbucks Mascot
Billy, the kid
218 - Prehistoric Ice Man Harry, the Prehistoric Ice Man
Helicopter Pilot
Train Conductor
Aussie hunter
and his navigator
Woman And Her Family
Marilyn Manson
301 - Rainforest Schmainforest Miss Stevens, the choir teacher
"Getting Gay With Kids" Choir
Kelly, Kenny's conflicted girlfriend
Jake, choir leader
Short Summit Reporter

Tall Summit Reporter
Head American Logger

Costa Rican prostitutes
El Presidente de Costa Rica
Pablo, rainforest guide
People's Army
American loggers
the Yanogapa (with Giant Yanogapa)
302 - Spontaneous Combustion General Store Manager
Whoopi Goldberg
Nick Nolte
News Anchor

303 - Chef's Mama Mr. Durp, the new school chef
and Nellie McElroy, Chef's parents
Veronica, the succubus
Dr. Lott, optometrist
304 - Tweek vs. Craig Mr. Adler's Fiancée
Mr. Adler's Grandma
Mr. Adler's Uncle Corey
305 - Jakovasaurs Jakov and Junjun (Hope)
Little jakovasaurs
DOI agents
The French
306 - Sexual Harassment Panda Judge Julie
Tom Morris, aka Petey, the Sexual Harassment Panda
Oinky The Pig
Jimmy The Falcon
Kevin McCarty, news anchor
And Bar Patrons
Mr. Evans And The South Park School Board
Willy The Worm
Happy The Badger
The Company Rep

Other Misfit Mascots
307 - Cat Orgy Skyler
308 - Two Guys Naked In A Hot Tub Dougie, a first-grader
Juanita, Mackey's maid
ATF agents and Commander Danny Ganz
Derek Smalls, reporter

309 - Jewbilee Moses
The Elders, including Carn, Harris, Garth, and Schwartz
Shlomo, the Squirt leader
The Jew Scouts and Inductees
The Squirts
A momma bear and her cub
310 - Chinpoko Mon Mr. Hirohito
Mr. Ose
Announcer for Commercials
Singer for Commercials

Red Harris, Toy Store Cashier
Young Market Researcher

Balding Market Researcher
Japanese Woman
A Few Chinpokomon:
Roostallion (Roostor evolved)
311 - Starvin' Marvin in Space CIA Agent Connelly
CIA Agent Bill Sphinx
Pat Robertson

The Marklar
Sally the Hutt (and Salacious Crumb)
FBI Agent
Sister Hollis
Feed The Children Foundation Receptionist
Marvin and the Ethiopians (return)
312 - KORN's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery KoRn
Nibblet, the Chicken From Outer Space
Pirate Ghosts, by Fr. Maxi
Three Fifth Graders
A Dog
The Corpse of Cleo Broflovski
KOZY 102.1 FM DJ
The Brunet Mt. Peaceful Watchman
American Deliveryman

Dr. Spookalot, Spooky Laboratory Guide
Alan, Blond Mt. Peaceful Watchman

313 - Hooked On Monkey Fonics Fonics Monkey
Ronnie James Dio and band
Ronnie speaking
314 - The Red Badge Of Gayness Mrs. Hollis
Suzette, the S'more Schnapps girl

Fort Sumter tour guide
Ralph, the mailman
Topeka Traffic Officer
Chattanooga citizens
Sgt. Larsen
Citizens of South Carolina
Al Gore
315 - Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics Mailman Timmy
Adolf Hitler
News Anchor
Man on Porto Potty

John F. Kennedy and John F. Kennedy Jr.
Various Kids
316 - Are You There, God? It's Me, Jesus. God
Miss Aliton
Craig Netzel, field reporter
Tom, news anchor
Radio announcer
Rod Stewart
317 - Worldwide Recorder Concert Yoko Ono
Mr. Garrison Sr.
Mrs. Garrison Sr.
Concert Coordinator
Keeny G
New York Tough 1
New York Tough 2
Black Kid in EKKO shirt
News Reporters Rick and Alan
Delivery Man
Arkansas Bar Patrons and Tender
401 - Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000 The Girls, including Girl In Pink
Romper Stomper
Juvenile prisoners
FBI Agents Sharp and Keen
Leslie Smith, Trial TV host
Prosecutor, Defender, and Honorable Judge
Anchor Tom and Eye in the Sky Greg Nimins
Prison Guards and Warden
Colorado Governor
402 - The Tooth Fairy's Tats 2000 Timmy
Loogie and his boys, including Kolovski
Dentists, including Dr. Roberts and Mr. Foley
Rich kid in Cherry Creek
Beat-up Boy
Field Reporter Dan Akawa
Billy Circlovich and his parents
403 - Quintuplets 2000 Clown in blue
Clown in yellow
Romanian officials
Oarsman in vest
The Vladchick Quintuplets:
one other
Grandmama Vladchick
"Singing like Bocelli for Dummies" Narrator
Anchor Tom and Field Reporters
Janet Reno
Mr. Vladchick, the Quints' father
Lead Agent Collins and other agents
Police Officers
404 - Timmy 2000 Clinic Doctor
Sisters of Mercy Hold No Pain Against the Dark Lord
Charlie Rose
Phil Collins
Christina Aguilera monsters
Kurt Loder, host of MTV News
Dr. Shay
Announcers for MTV and VH1
405 - Great Expectations Ex-Convict
Joe and Mrs. Joe
Ms. Havesham
Other male victims
A British Person (Malcolm McDowell)
406 - Cartman Joins NAMBLA North American Man/Boy Love Association Members
including Patrick and Mr. Harris
North American Marlon Brando Look Alikes
John Denver Experience Ride Operator
A Nurse
407 - Cherokee Hair Tampons Mr. Wyland, substitute teacher
South Park School Members
Miss Information
Carlos Ramirez
Chief Running Pinto
408 - Chef Goes Nanners Mr. Wyland
Channel 4 Field Reporter
The KKK and their leader
A Monk
409 - Something You Can Do With Your Finger Harried Mall Manager
Veteran and Rookie Security Guads
Record Producer
Mall Shoppers
Little Girl
410 - Do The Handicapped Go To Hell? Cantor
Walter Matthau
Papal Secretary
The Pope
Woman in Confessional (Mrs. Donovan)
411 - Probably Tour Bus Driver
Gas Station Attendant
Marcy and Her Parents Stephen and Mom
Hell Director
Various Souls In Hell, including a very pretty blonde girl
Boy wearing glasses
Ugly Girl
Mormons In Heaven, including a few nice men
Rick a damned soul
The Fourth Grade Years
412 - 4th Grade Ms. Choksondik
Two Sci-Fi nerds
A brunette
Rescuer Hansen and his pilot
Third and Fifth Graders
413 - Trapper Keeper Android VSM471, aka Bill Cosby
Rosie O'Donnell
Jesse Jackson
Kindergarten Presidential Candidate Filmore Anderson
Kindergarteners Jenny, Sally, Billy Harris, Flora, and others
Two Cheyenne Mountain security guards
414 - Thanksgiving Jeffrey Maynard (Timmy's stand-in) and Lamont
Gobbles and Allinesia
Some hunters
Two Waterworks Installers
415 - Fat Camp Fat kids, including Horace Sanders, Chad, and Tony
Camp Counselors Rick and Susan
James Taylor
Howard Stern and Johnny Knoxville
416 - The Wacky Molestation Adventure Fidel Castro
Mark and Linda Cotner
Scott Evans, Prison Rehabilitation Counselor
Butters' Father
Jenny's Mother
417 - A Very Crappy Christmas Mr. Hankey's new family:
Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, Snoopy
Sound Man
501 - Scott Tenorman Must Die Scott Tenorman and his two buddies
Johnny Greenwood
Colin Greenwood
Ed O'Brien
Thom Yorke
Phil Selway
Bijou theater clerk
Man in Fort Collins
Teen in Fort Collins
Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman
Kurt Loder
Mr. Denkins
502 - It Hits The Fan Sam, Randy's colleague
HBC President and his staff
The Knights of the Royal Order of Standards and Practices
The Geldon
Drew Carey and Mimi
Excalibur barker, waitress, and sorcerer
Frank and Mitchell (voices only), two cops on Cop Drama
Old folks
Rick Watts
Peter and friend
Plane Captain (voice only)
503 - Cripple Fight! Jimmy, on crutches
Other Scouts, including Token
A Girl selling puppies
Mr. Grazier
Mountain Scoutmasters
Field Reporter Chris
Shoppers and other townsfolk
Joe, of Joe n' Friends
Steven Spielberg
Colorado Supreme Court Justices
Gloria Allred
504 - The Super Best Friends David Blaine and the Blainetologists
Joseph Smith
Lao Tse
Elderly Woman
Karl Rove
George W. Bush
Statues of Abraham Lincoln and John Wilkes Booth
505 - Terrance & Phillip: Behind the Blow Phillip Stand-in
The Earth Day Brainwashing Committee
Jack Farliss
Blonde woman
Female Groupies
Boy wearing glasses
"Hamlet" Players
Ed Sullivan
Ed Sullivan Audience Members
Sonny & Cher
Goat Leader In Cartoon
506 - Cartmanland Doctor
Mr. Frank Foon and Chris the Broker
IRS agents, including Frank Garrett
Money Quest hosts
Priest at Grandma Cartman's funeral, and assistant
Executor of Grandma Cartman's estate
South Park banker
Investment broker
Cartmanland Ticket Clerk
Gracy's sales associate
The Hemorrhoid
507 - Proper Condom Use Assistant Pharmacist
"The Miracle of Child Birth" Narrator
508 - Towelie Towelie
A woman
Tynacorp Research Leader, aka Zytar, Officials, and Security
Resistance Commander and Soldiers
Towelie Clone
509 - Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants The four Afghan boys, including Akmarh
SNN reporter
Soldiers, including Tony
Afghan Taxi driver
Taliban soldiers
Osama bin Laden
Fleetwood Mac
510 - How To Eat With Your Butt Mr. and Mrs. Thompson
South Park Milk Company President
Mrs. Garthunk, receptionist
Ben Affleck
511 - The Entity Cousin Kyle, from Connecticut
John Travolta
Steve Forbes
Steve Jobs
Bill Gates
Donald Trump
News Anchor Tom and Field Reporter Jeff Arrando
Airport Security Guard
Government Agents
512 - Here Comes the Neighborhood Aslan the Lion and other lions
Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, and their kids,
Frederick, Lisa, and Daniel
Dominique and Zizi
Snoop Dogg
Bill Cosby
Oprah Winfrey
Carl and Martin
Kobe Bryant
513 - Kenny Dies Planned Parenthood Doctor and Nurse
Ms. Sanders, Patient
Truck Driver
Alder Research Group Receptionist
Researcher Dr. Larry
Hell's Pass Doctor and Nurse
Head Nurse
Laura Jones and Bob Ferrin, from Make-A-Wish Foundation
Jill, and another woman
Mark and wife
Man in Wheelchair
Man on Crutches
514 - Butters' Very Own Episode Busy Beaver Moving Company Truck Driver
Gas Station Mechanic
Police Chief and various policemen
John and Patsy Ramsey
Congressman Gary Condit
O.J. Simpson
601 - Freak Strike Maury Povich
Show Stagehand
Show Telephone Operator
Vanessa and Vanity
Joline and Chantal
New York Police Captain
Some Freaks
Man With No Face
Man With Foot On Head
Disfigured Country Singer
Man With No Limbs
Man With Terrible Skin Condition, their leader
Incredibly Obese Black Man
Man Wth Misshapen Head
602 - Jared Has Aides City Wok Owner
Jared Vogle, Subway spokesman
Jared's aides, Scott and Tyler
Christine Jonez, Jared's fiancée
Subway Representatives
A Worker for Subway
Crowd Members
603 - Asspen Phil and Josh
Tad Mikowsky and two friends
Heather, Tad's girlfriend
A teenage girl
Resort Announcer
Voguing Skiers
Police Officers
Creatures for Breasts
604 - The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer Russell Crowe
Chef's new HDTV
Brooklyn Basketball Players
Jim Lehrer
Russell Crowe's editor
Old Folks at Shady Acres
Doctor in Russell Crowe's show
Wally B., the Wallaby
605 - Fun With Veal Hippies
FBI Agent
FBI Negotiator Glen Dumont
Michael Dorn
606 - Professor Chaos Dog Poo
Ride Operator
Baseball announcer
Baseball fans
Bennigan's Chef
Water Department Workers
607 - Simpsons Already Did It Frances Velman
Hells Pass doctors
608 - Red Hot Catholic Love Man
Martha Stewart
The Gelgameks and their Cardinal
Counselor Gorache
Other priests
Priests, Bishops, and Cardinals at the Vatican (the Clergy)
Old Monk
609 - Free Hat Ted Koppel
George Lucas
Steven Spielberg
Francis Ford Coppola
Steven Spielberg's Guards
Hat McCulloch
Pat O'Brien, Excess Hollywood anchor
610 - Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society Red
Mrs. Stevens
Mrs. Testaburger
Dr. Hallis
Blonde and Brunette Nurses
Two astronauts
Precious, the rubber poodle
Girl 2 (black hair)
Boy 1 (blond hair)
611 - Child Abduction is Not Funny City Wok Owner (Tuong Lu Kim)
News Anchors
The Ghost of Human Kindness (Frederick Johnson)
Lost Driver
Elderly Lady
Man in Wheelchair
Police Officers and Detective
Mr. Mackey Sr.
612 - A Ladder to Heaven George Bush
Lolly, candy shop owner
Alan Jackson
Channel 4 Field Reporter
SNN Reporter
Nobunaga Hiroichi, SNN Japanese Correspondent
Robot Guard
George Bush Sr.
Fat Man, a pervert
Unplanned Parenthood Nurse
Steven and Girlfriend
UN Ambassadors
Natsako Semu, weather girl
613 - The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers A Kindergartner
LotR narrator on videotape
Episode Narrator
Bailey kids
Couple on Back Door Sluts 9
614 - The Death Camp of Tolerance Mr. Slave
Museum of Tolerance Tour Guide
Frog King
Sparrow Prince
Veritzen's Tolerance Camp Warden and soldiers
Two Girls in Porto Potty
Various Men at the Courageous Teacher award presentation
615 - The Biggest Douche in the Universe Rob Schneider (cameo)
John Edward
John Edward show page
John Edward audience members
John Edward's butler
Aliens from the BDIU Committee
People on Street, including a Construction Worker
Lion-head Alien
Bee Alien
Frankenstein Alien
616 - My Future Self n' Me Future Stan
Future Butters
Future Cartman
Motivation Corp. Director
Mr. and Mrs. Brooks
Josh Casher
The Osbournes (Ozzy and Jack speak)
Cartman's paint crew, including Felipe and Carlos
617 - Red Sleigh Down Iraqi People
Iraqi Soldiers
Iraqi General
Italian Parishoners
701 - I'm A Little Bit Country Reporter Tom Stansel
Driver / Official Messenger Boy
Thomas Jefferson
John Adams
John Hancock
John Dickinson
Other Congressmen
702 - Krazy Kripples Christopher Reeve
Gene Hackman
Crips and Bloods
Dr. Doom
Mr. McGillicuddy
Larry King
Detectives Hyde and Richardson
Mr. Appleby
703 - Toilet Paper Josh Meyers
The Dreibles
Mr. Bell, Henry's Supermarket cashier
Prison Warden
Policeman Brown
704 - Cancelled Proctologist
Nagix (Ice-cream-crapping Taco)
705 - Fat Butt and Pancake Head Latino Endowment Council members
Make Your Own Video cashier
BHI President and Aides
Female Fan at concert
Police Officers
"Jennifer Lopez"
"Mitch Connor"
706 - Lil' Crime Stoppers Old Woman
Sarah Peterson and her Mom.
FBI Boys, led by "Agent" Tucker
FBI Agents, led by Agent Fields
Lt. Dawson, Murphy, Jenkins, and Hopkins
Three Meth Lab men
Gino and his goons
Old Stripper
DJ at Peppemint Hippo's
707 - Red Man's Greed Alex Glick
Chief Runs with Premise, wife, and Premise Running Thin
Blackjack and Roulette dealers
Native American Shaman
Johnny Manymoons
Native American Elders and Audience
Wise Man in Trailer Park
708 - South Park Is Gay The men from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (Ted, Kyan, Carson, Jai, and Thom)
HBC executives and Head of Programming
The crab people and their leader
709 - Christian Rock Hard FBI Agents and Detective
Field Reporter
Announcers and MC
T-Shirt and Bible Vendors
Elderly Woman
Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield, from Metallica
Britney Spears
Faith Records CEO and Executives
U.S. Mail delivery driver
Michael Collins
710 - Grey Dawn Elderly residents of South Park and Conifer
News Anchor and Field Reporter
Army official and soldiers
The AARP, headed by Bill Stewart
DMV Officials
711 - Casa Bonita Irene, Trash Dump Worker
Police Captain
Field Reporter
712 - All About The Mormons The Harrisons (Gary Sr, Karen, Mark, Jenny, Gary Jr., Dave, and Amanda)
Martin and Lucy Harris
Blacksmith, Customer, and Woman
Moroni, White Native American Angel
713 - Butt Out Butt Out!: Pam, Vernon, Kyle, and Randy
Rob Reiner and his Smoke Stoppers staff
Big Tobacco Executives, including Kevin Harris
Big Tobacco Factory Workers
714 - Raisinis Girls - Mercedes, Porsche, Lexus, Ferrari
Raisins Bouncer Maury
Goth Kids, including Henrietta
Benny's Waitress
715 - It's Christmas in Canada Ike's birth parents, Harry and Elise Gints
Park County Judge
Rick, the Mountie
The Mime
Steve, the Newfie
Canadians, including a
doctor, sailor, wrestler,
businessman, artist, hockey player,
firefighter, priest, road workers
French Canadians
The Doorman
801 - Good Times With Weapons Roger
Auction barker
802 - AWESOM-O Aunt Nellie and Uncle
Catamount Pictures producers, including Mitch
Pentagon Officials, including a general and a scientist
803 - Up The Down Steroid Jimmy's parents, the Valmors
Special Olympics host, coaches, and volunteers
Michael and his parents
Other Special Olympians
Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire
804 - The Passion of The Jew Soldiers, Jesus, priests in The Passion of The Christ
Cartman's Guests, Townsfolk, Jewish Congregants, Rabbi
Jack and Elise Garrett
Mel Gibson
Tour Bus Driver
805 - You Got F'd In The A The Goth Kids
Mercedes, Porsche and Maury
The OC kids and their coach
A Rancher and Jeffy, his dancing duck
OC adults, townsfolk, spectators
Tap Dance and Street Dance finals announcers
Lil Kim
806 - Goobacks Various immigrants from the future
Wendell's cashier and manager
Mr. Glughgogawk
Darryl Weathers
Various unemployed men
Aaron Brown
Christina Naylon
Brad Morgan
Harrison Moore
Chris Holt
Mrs. Landis
Bill O'Reilly
Aging Hippie Liberal Douche
Mr. Nelson
807 - The Jeffersons Sgt. Harrison Yeats and his men: Harris, Murphy, Johnson, Frakes
Maggie Yeats
Other kids
Sgt. Snetzl, of Santa Barbard Police
Michael Jefferson
808 - Douche and Turd Mandy
PETA members
Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich, and Mooey, the South Park Elementary mascot
Puff Daddy and his posse of bodyguards
Jim Lehrer
809 - Something Wall*Mart This Way Comes Wall*Mart official
Elderly Woman
Mr. Farkle
Wall*Mart Manager
Crane Driver
Wall*Mart Receptionist
Harvey Brown, Wall*Mart President
Wall*Mart itself, aka Desire, the Consumer
810 - Preschool Trent Boyett
Ms. Claridge
Police Officers
Juvenile Hall Warden
811 - Quest for Ratings Red-haired Goth
Raisins Girls
Mr. Meryl
Whistlin' Willy
812 - Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset Jessie
Two Kellys
Teen Girls
Mr. Testaburger
Mrs. Polk, Annie's mother
Mr. and Mrs. Stevens, Bebe's parents
Paris Hilton and her driver
Frog King
813 - Cartman's Incredible Gift Dr. Kels
Sergeant Lou
Detective Mitch Murphy
Other detectives and police officers
Mr. Johansen
Jim Brown, Channel 4 News Anchor
Michael Deets, serial killer
814 - Woodland Critter Christmas Abortion Doctor
Narrator and Singers
The Woodland Critters
The mountain lion and her cubs
901 - Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina Dr. Biber
Lead Referee
Colorado and Wyoming coaches
Singers and announcers
Men in Girls Gone Wild commercial
Redhead at the bar
Planned Parenthood Doctor and Nurse
Patient at Trinidad Medical Center
Security Guards
Denver Police Officer
902 - Die Hippie, Die Elderly Woman
Guards at City Hall and the Jam Band Festival
903 - Wing The Tong
Miss Colorado Pageant MC
Man in Audience
Don Heisman, CAA Agent
Wing, Special Guest Star
American Idol Contestants
Agent for The Contender
Sylvester Stallone
The Contender Announcers and Producers
904 - Best Friends Forever Goths and Sixth Graders
Angels in heaven, including
a spy for Satan
Kevin, the Hooded Figure
Kenny's Lawyer
Various people and crowds
HBC Anchor
George Bush
Colorado Supreme Court Justices
Police Officer
BFF Rights supporters
905 - The Losing Edge Announcers
Mr. Barkas
Morgan Pratt and Mr. Pratt
Greeley Batter (Brian) and Dad
Pueblo Dad
Tom "Bat Dad" Nelson
Fort Collins team
Pueblo Team
Denver Team
Kyle Schwartz
906 - The Death Of Eric Cartman Plumbers
A couple
Mental Health Doctor
Police Officers
Three escaped convicts
907 - Erection Day Bertha
Shawna and her mom
Ryan and Sarah Valmor
Doctor Pal
Q Money, the pimp
Nut Gobbler, the hooker
Roma, the waiter
908 - Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow Anchorman Tom Pusslicker
Field Reporter Mitch
Geologists and Scientists
Various Townsmen
Beaverton Residents
Pentagon General and soldiers
909 - Marjorine Blond Boy
A Girl
Police Officers
Heidi's Parents, Mr. and Mrs. Turner
Rachel, Quality Curtains representative.
910 - Follow That Egg! Heidi
Governor of Colorado
Field Reporter
Jakartha, the world's greatest known killer
Governor's aide
911 - Ginger Kids Ginger Kids
The Foleys and their three kids
Field Reporter
Gary Nelson, Hilton Guest Relations
912 - Trapped In The Closet South Park Police
R. Kelly
Other officials and church leaders
Other Scientologists
Tom Cruise
John Travolta
Nicole Kidman
913 - Free Willzy-x Announcer Brian (voices Jambu/Willzy-x) and Partner Mike
Stingray Announcer
Denver Sea Park Owner
Security Guard
Orca Trainer Kelly
Denver Police Sergeant, Officers Murphy and Nelson, and other officers
Russian President (Putin)
ALF Members and Leader
Two Motorcycle Cops
Manuel and other members of MASA
914 - Bloody Mary Karate Instructor
South Park police officer
South Park desk officer
Bailey police officer
AA members: Michael (leader), Bill, others
Believing Women
Josh Garrett
Pilgrims waiting to be cured
Catholic Clergy:
Hispanic priest
Father Harold Barnes
Cardinal Mallory
Pope Benedict XVI
1001 - Smug Alert Detective Jarvis
Woman Patient
Dr. Neeland
Peppermint Hippo DJ
Ragged Stripper
Blonde Stripper
Spantaneous Bootay
Head Adventurer William P. Connolly, Esquire
Security Guards
William, adventurer
Darth Chef
1002 - The Return of Chef! Townsfolk
Peter Thompson, Nancy Jarvis, and Brian Thompson-Jarvis
Paul McDonahue, Paulie Beaumont-McCallahan, and Mindy McDonahue-Beaumont-McCallahan
Gail And Brian
Wake Up America! Spokeswoman
Ranger McFriendly
Keenan Williams
Two San Francisco boys
San Francisco man
1003 - Cartoon Wars SNN Anchor
FOX President and other executives
Professor Thomas
State Trooper
Dylan and Sarah
President Bush
Michael Knight (David Hasselhoff)
Soccer Captain
Mr. T
Family Guy: The Griffins
1004 - Cartoon Wars, Part II Announcer
SNN Anchor
Professor Thomas
Mohammed (Canadian voice)
Network President
FOX President (Doug)
FOX Executives
Miss Travis, Receptionist
Bart Simpson
Osama bin Laden
President Bush
Reporters, including ones from TCO and LSX
Woman and fellow Programmers
Gary Coleman
Family Guy: The Griffins
Al-Qaeda Films
President Bush
1005 - A Million Little Fibers Mr. Steven McTowelie
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah's Aides
Mingie and Gary, Oprah's private parts.
Book Publishers
Oprah Audience Members/Fans/Hostages
Waiter Chris
Head Waiter
Butler Dimitri
Geraldo Rivera
Larry King
White Protesters
Latino Protesters
Chicago Police Officer
Chicago SWAT Officers
Lt. Nelson
1006 - ManBearPig Al Gore
Tour Guides
Tour Group
Woman in the Tour Group
Police Officer
HBC Reporter
1007 - Tsst Nanny 911 Nanny Stella
Supernanny Jo
Doctor At Mental Hospital
Cesar Millan
1008 - Make Love, Not Warcraft Nelson, fellow geologist
World of Warcraft Support Line Representative and her boss
Blizzard Gaming Entertainment President and his board members, including Jim and Thomas
Best Buy Greeter
World of Warcraft characters
1009 - The Mystery of the Urinal Deuce Leroy, a new classmate
Frank and Joe Hardly, and their father
Man from
President George Bush
Donald Rumsfeld
Dick Cheney
1010 - Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy A Hall Monitor
A school boy
Car Salesman
Miss Stevenson
Print Reporter
Rehab Therapist
Leeroy and Earl
Bellboy, Concierge, Receptionist
1011 - Hell on Earth 2006 Demonius
Ted Bundy
Jeffery Dahmer
John Wayne Gacy
George Burns
Princess Diana
Adolph Hitler
Biggie Smalls
Steve Irwin
Frank Sinatra
Napoleon Bakery staff
Airline ticket agent
Guests at Hell On Earth 2006
1012 - Go God Go Ricard Dawkins, evolutionary scientist
EV Games clerk
Mr. Triscotti and daughter
Shvek, a medic, an analyst, and the Unified Atheist League
the United Atheist Alliance
the Allied Atheist Allegiance
1013 - Go God Go, Part XII Shvek and the UAL
The UAA and its leader, maintenance guy, woman, and tactical officer
Blavius, the sea otters, and the Wise One
Narrator, announcers and singers
Boys using the Crank Prank Time Phone
Man from the early 20th century
1014 - Stanley's Cup Mr. Jarvis
Tow Truck Driver
Park County Pee Wee Players
Gavin Throttle, Adams County Coach
Denver Goalie
Mr. (Jack) and Mrs. Brown
NHL Official
the Colorado Avalanche
Red Wings Coach And His Dad
1101 -
1102 -
1103 -
1104 -
1105 -
1106 -
1107 -
1108 -
1109 -
1110 -
1111 -
1112 -
1113 -
1114 -
1201 -
1202 -
1203 -
1204 -
1205 -
1206 -
1207 -
1208 -
1209 -
1210 -
1211 -
1212 -
1213 -
1214 -
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut Gregory from Yardale
Christophe the Mole and his mom
Bijou ticket clerk
News reporters, including a midget in a bikini
Dr. Gouache and the staff of Hell's Pass Hospital
Female Heavenly Bodies
Dr. Vosknocker
Head of the UN and UN delegates
Four-star General and the Army
Yippie, the back-flipping dog
Guard dogs
The Baldwin Brothers (William, Alec, Daniel)
Conan O'Brien
Brooke Shields
Brian Dennehy
Bill Clinton
Bill Gates
Big Gay Al
Winona Ryder
Canadian Minister of Movies
Canadian Ambassador
Canadian Air Force
Canadian Army
The Clitoris

Food and Snacks (First Appearance or Mention)

Zoop (101 - A Soda)
Powdered Donut Pancake Surprise (101)
Chocolate Chicken Pot Pies (101)
Cheesy Poofs (101 - Chee-tohs)
Happy Tarts (103 - Pop Tarts)
Snacky Cakes (106 - Little Debbie Snack Cakes)
Sweetie Pops (107 - lollipops)
Chocolate-Peanut Butter Cream Puffies (107)
Tootie Bars (107 - Tootsie Rolls)
Poofy Pies (108)
Veal Roll-Ups (109 - fruit roll-ups)
Boogie Bars (109)
Shrimp (109)
Ham (109)
Turkey (109)
Beefy Roast (113)
Freezy Pops (202 - Popsicles)
Snacky Candy (204)
Cookie Dings (207 - Ding Dongs)
Beefy Logs (207 - Beef Jerky)
Super Chocolaty Chunky Funk Chip Surprise Ice Cream (207)
Chocolate Noogies (214)
Nilla Crunchies (214)
Crispy Yum-Yums (214)
Nilla Yum-Yums (214)
Berry Bars (214)
Choco-Numbers (214)
Snacky S'mores (216)
Chocolate Yum Yum bars (311)
Coo Coo Chips (SP:BLU)

Drinks and Restaurants (First Appearance or Mention)

Zoop (101)
Gin (103)
Beer (103)
Dude (108 - for those who like their beers big and strong - ask Mr. McCormick)
Mai Tais (308)
S'mores Schnapps (314)
Happy Burger (102)
King Jimmy's Buffet (109)
Larry's Bar (212)
Harbucks and Tweek Bros. Coffeehouses (217)

Chef's menu items and cookie line can be found in the secrets.

Who Destroys South Park? (Episode it occurs in)

Big Mutant Stan (105)
South Park Zombies (107)
Mad Turkeys (109)
Mecha Barbura Sturaisanda (112)
The Citizens (203)
The Giant Fireworks Snake (208)