HELP ME!!

South Park Studios BBS member eatmydeaduterus found the two posts below on Google Newsgroups. They are from Matt Stone asking for help on research for the series Time Warped, which had yet to air, and which unfortunately never got to air:

First post by Matt Stone, on soc.history, 16 Jan 1995

I am producing a tv series for FOX television entitled "TIME WARPED!" The show is a musical-comedy-historical-anthology series detailing the life and times of a historical figure in the tradition of Oklahoma!, Monty Python, Quantum Leap, Black Adder, etc... (yes, it is pretty wierd) We finished the pilot episode in December '94, and are in the process of shopping it around to various channels in hopes that they want to pick it up for 6 to 13 episodes.
The pilot was the story of Aaron and Moses freeing the Hebrews from Egypt. Like in the Bible, the TIME WARPED! version examines the sibling rivalry between the two (Aaron the virtuous feels cheated when his dimwitted brother is chosen by God to his prophet).
Following this example, future Episodes of TIME WARPED! will examine the "sit-commy" relationships behind history's biggest events. What I need is some background information on the following historical figures. Most helpful would be (1)hard facts concerning the figure, context, dates, etc. and (2)any odd or interesting people, major love interests, demons, altercations, tidbits having to do with them. For instance, John Wesley Powell had only one arm, or Tycho Brahe had his nose cut off in a duel, or Giovanni de Medici... I think you get the picture. Here's the list:
-Joan of Arc
-Christopher Jones or anyone else on the Mayflower
-Siddartha Guatama
-Giovanni de Medici or any other De Medici
-Any Interesting figure having to with the Salem Witch Trials
-Helen of Troy
-Johnny Appleseed
-Paul Revere
-Gengis Khan
-Pythagorus
-Joseph Smith (the Mormon guy)
-Benedict Arnold
-Pancho Villa
-Job

That's the short list. The long list contains over a hundred names! This is my first and only (thus far) posting over the electronic airwaves, so I hope the information is included to reply either via posting or e-mail in this document. If not, hang tight, I'll figure this damn system out and get that information there. Thank you oh so oh so oh so much. Happy camping

Matt Stone
Second post by Matt Stone, this time on soc.history.moderated, 17 Jan 1995

I posted on soc.history and recieved several e-mail's that were a great service. So I'll try this one for a little spice.
I just finished producing a pilot for FOX television entitled TIME WARPED! It is a mix of Oklahoma!, Monty Python, Black Adder, and Hard Copy. (yes it is wierd) The premise: A musical-comedy examining the life of a historical figure anywhere in the world, anytime in history. The pilot episode detailed the exploits of Aaron and Moses freeing the Hebrews. Their sibling rivalry (Aaron is jealous that the dimwitted Moses got to be God's prophet.)
So I am doing research for future episodes. If picked up, the series would air in the fall.
The list below is one of possibilities. I need just a few sentences on each, explaining (1)the dates, institutions, struggles, acheivments of their life and (2)any interesting tidbits concerning their love life, relationships, etc. that could be blown up into a saucy, sit-commy veiw of their life.
-Joan of Arc
-Socrates
-Pythaagorus
-Charles Darwin
-Tyco Brahe
-Johann Kepler
-Susan B. Anthony
-Job
-Helen of Troy
Yes, I love History, but I never learned it in school. Shame on me, shame on my family name.
Any help would be appreciated. (If you don't help, then I have to go to the library. GASP!!!)

Matt "johnny can't read" Stone