The Ninth Season

Click on the icons to read the content. The book leads to the transcripts, the magnifier leads to the dyns, and the bust leads to the guests
scriptsecrets
guests
901. Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina (Original Airdate: 3/9/05)
Mr. Garrison is getting a sex change. The boys have to help Mr. Garrison get his testicles out of Kyle's knees! Mr. Garrison decides he wants to become a woman, as he's more comfortable as dressing in drag as one, so he loses his testicles and scrotum. Kyle becomes a tall black kid in order to qualify as a member of the Colorado All-State basketball team by means of a negroplasty (his kneecaps are replaced by Mr. Garrison's testicles), and Kyle's dad becomes a dolphin in order to look how he feels (he gets Mr. Garrison's scrotum as a dorsal fin).
scriptsecrets
guests
902. Die Hippie, Die (Original Airdate: 3/16/05)
Cartman warns the citizens of South Park that it will only be a matter of days before the town becomes the Hippie Capital of the World. No one will believe him until they find out the hippies plan to stage a weeklong music fest. The town has no choice but to turn to Cartman for help. He then puts his plan to eradicate his lifelong enemies in motion.
scriptsecrets
guests
903. Wing (Original Airdate: 3/23/05)
As talent agents, Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny can bank 10% of their client Token's earnings. After they pool all their resources to impress their one and only client, another agency steals him away. Desperate to earn their money back, they take on another client with plans to launch her on a new reality show.
scriptsecrets
guests
904. Best Friends Forever (Original Airdate: 3/30/05)
Kenny is the only one of his friends to get the newest, coolest portable gaming device and Cartman can’t deal with the injustice - the device is sold out. Will they be able to stay “best friends forever"?
scriptsecrets
guests
905. The Losing Edge (Original Airdate: 4/6/05)
A winning season and overzealous parents threaten to ruin the entire summer, when the boys of South Park head to the State Championship The kids desperately want an end to the boring baseball season. The problem is they've won so many games that now they're in the playoffs. Just one loss would mean the season's finished and they'd be free from America's favorite pastime for the entire summer.
scriptsecrets
guests
906. The Death Of Eric Cartman (Original Airdate: 4/13/05)
Butters is freaked out when he thinks he can communicate with the dead. Although his parents have made it clear to him there are no such things as ghosts, Butters is sure one is haunting him. Butters knows he has to give up his ghost pal or be put into a mental institution.
scriptsecrets
guests
907. Erection Day (Original Airdate: 4/20/05)
Jimmy has to figure out a way to pull himself together before the big talent show. All the kids are getting ready for the big South Park Elementary Talent Show and Jimmy can't wait to perform his new comedy routines. But lately, just like generations of little boys before him, Jimmy's noticed that one of his body parts has a mind of its own. Knowing he can't get up in front of the entire school in an excited state, Jimmy must find a way to gain control of his raging hormones in time to perform in the show.
scriptsecrets
guests
908. Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow (Original Airdate: 10/19/05)
A GLOBAL WARMING STATE OF EMERGENCY is declared in South Park. Global Warming is determined to be the cause of the massive flood that destroys a neighboring town. The world’s largest beaver dam breaks and the waters overtake the adjacent town of Beaverton.. As the victims wait for help to arrive, everyone in South Park tackles priority number one: who is to blame? The President, the mayor, scientists, the press and even the flood victims themselves are all busy pointing fingers. Only Stan and Cartman know who’s really at fault.
scriptsecrets
guests
909. Marjorine (Original Airdate: 10/26/05)
The 4th grade girls are having a sleepover. It’s imperative that the boys find out what goes on behind those closed doors. Butters is picked to be the boy who must fake his death, become a girl and infiltrate this age-old feminine tradition. As his parents dabble in the dark arts in an effort to bring him back to life, Butters thinks he might like being a girl.
scriptsecrets
guests
910. Follow That Egg! (Original Airdate: 11/2/05)
Mrs. Garrison's "ex" plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the bill allowing gay marriage in Colorado. As Slave and Big Gay Al prepare to marry, the townspeople of South Park rally the Governor to outlaw gay marriage. In a fit of jealously, Mrs. Garrison develops his own case study using the kids to prove that same sex couples cannot care for a child. The boys are determined to get an "A" on their class assignment and Mrs. Garrison is just as committed to seeing they fail.
scriptsecrets
guests
911. Ginger Kids (Original Airdate: 11/9/05)
In his classroom presentation, Cartman points to people with red hair, light skin and freckles as an inferior race. He thinks differently when, one morning, he himself wakes up with an advanced case of Gingervitus! Sick and tired of being ripped-on because he now has red hair, light skin and freckles, he rallies all ginger kids everywhere to fight against discrimination.
scriptsecrets
guests
912. Trapped In The Closet (Original Airdate: 11/16/05)
Religious leaders believe Stan is the new “Golden Child” and a whole soap opera unfolds with the help of a famous R&B singer. The results of Stan’s personality test reveal that he’s depressed. While Stan looks to a new religion for answers, the church leaders recognize Stan as the second coming. Some A-List Hollywood celebrities join the faithful who have set up camp right in front of Stan’s house.
scriptsecrets
guests
913. Free Willzy-x (Original Airdate: 11/30/05)
Kyle convinces the fourth-grade boys to help him get his special new friend back home. A "talking" whale inspires the fourth-graders to risk everything to return him to his family. With the police on their tails, the boys enlist the help of a foreign government and embark upon an adventure they'll not soon forget; one in which the boys learn just how far to go for a friend.
scriptsecrets
guests
914. Bloody Mary (Original Airdate: 12/7/05)
Stan is embarrassed in front of his friends when his dad is arrested for drunk driving. In a neighboring town, a bleeding statue of Mary is discovered and the faithful are flocking to the site hoping to be healed. Stan's dad is sure the bleeding Virgin can cure him of his "disease."