The Seventh Season

Click on the icons to read the content. The book leads to the transcripts, the magnifier leads to the dyns, and the bust leads to the guests
scriptsecrets
guests
701. I'm A Little Bit Country (Original Airdate: 4/9/03)
Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman join some anti-war protesters because itís a free pass out of school for the day. Their simple plan to protest their way out of class goes south when they find themselves in the middle of the two opposing sides of the war issue. Their teacher, Mr. Garrison, an extreme supporter of the war, retaliates by assigning them book reports on the country's founding fathers. Meanwhile, Cartman induces his own flashback to avoid studying and travels back to 1776 where he plays an important role in the historic signing of the Declaration of Independence.
scriptsecrets
guests
702. Krazy Kripples (Original Airdate: 3/26/03)
Jimmy is offended when a recently disabled celebrity sweeps through town and steals his limelight. In this week's episode Jimmy convinces Timmy to help him form a club made up of other kids who were handicapped from birth. He and Timmy pull together a group of people like themselves who were handicapped from birth. They're pretty excited to find out a group like that already exists, and soon, Jimmy and Timmy are livin' large when they hookup with the notorious Denver "Crips."
scriptsecrets
guests
703. Toilet Paper (Original Airdate: 4/2/03)
Cartman convinces the boys to "toilet paper" their teacher's house. After the fact, Kyle is overwhelmed with guilt and on the verge of confessing his part in the prank. Officer Barbrady is hot on the perpetrators' trail, while Cartman contemplates killing Kyle so he doesn't rat them all out.
scriptsecrets
guests
704. Cancelled (Original Airdate: 3/19/03)
The boys discover Earth is nothing but one big intergalactic reality show and itís about to be canceled. With a nod to the first episode of South Park, the satellite dish in Cartmanís ass has been reactivated. The question of "Visitors" in the small mountain town is finally answered when the aliens return to wrap up one of their longest running reality shows, "Earth". Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny, yes Kenny, are once again trapped in space and itís up to them to save the planet from annihilation.
scriptsecrets
guests
705. Fat Butt and Pancake Head (Original Airdate: 4/16/03)
. Cartman is forced to deal with the pressures of stardom when one of his body parts becomes too famous for its own good. The real Jenny From the Block is enraged to learn that a new "Diva" has stolen her record deal and her boyfriend! South Park will never be the same after Jenny & Ben Affleck meet the new "Ms. Lopez."
scriptsecrets
guests
706. Lil' Crime Stoppers (Original Airdate: 4/23/03)
Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny start their very own South Park detective agency. After they return a missing doll to a little girl, the police department recognizes the boys' efforts and they are officially named junior deputies. Their next assignment: to break up a meth lab. In the course of their investigation, Butters is brought in for questioning.
scriptsecrets
guests
707. Red Man's Greed (Original Airdate: 4/30/03)
The owners of the Three Feathers Indian Casino have acquired the town of South Park. The citizens are being forced off their land to make way for a new super highway. Faced with saying goodbye to their friends and their way of life, the boys rally the townspeople to fight back against the rich and powerful Indians. Greed, gambling and the latest health crisis...will South Park survive?"
scriptsecrets
guests
708. South Park Is Gay (Original Airdate: 10/22/03)
The whole town celebrates the new, hip metrosexual craze. Everyone is suddenly hot to be gay! Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny are in fierce competition to see who can be the gayest, while Mr. Garrison responds with, ďIf straight people are gonna steal our culture, then us REAL gays are just gonna have to step it up a notch!Ē
scriptsecrets
guests
709. Christian Rock Hard (Original Airdate: 10/29/03)
Cartman, Butters and Token rocket to the top of the Christian rock charts with their own messages of faith. When the other boys kick Cartman out of their band, Cartman pulls his own group together to make music for Jesus. Meanwhile, Stan, Kyle and Kenny are arrested for downloading music from the Internet.
scriptsecrets
guests
710. Grey Dawn (Original Airdate: 11/5/03)
The Senior Citizens of South Park rise up in protest when their driverís licenses are revoked! After the seniors have mowed down more than a few farmerís markets, South Park residents no longer feel itís safe to be out in the streets. With their well being at stake, the boys decide to take action against the older generation. Unwilling to surrender their licenses, the elderly enlist the help of one of the most powerful organizations in Washington.
scriptsecrets
guests
711. Casa Bonita (Original Airdate: 11/12/03)
Kyle's parents are taking him and three of his friends to Casa Bonita, Colorado's version of a Mexican Disneyland. When Kyle chooses to invite Butters over him, Cartman arranges to have poor Butters go conveniently "missing."
scriptsecrets
guests
712. All About Mormons? (Original Airdate: 11/19/03)
A Mormon kid moves to South Park and Stan has to kick his ass. But when Stan and his dad meet their new Mormon neighbors, they become fascinated with how genuinely nice they are. The boys won't let Stan hear the end of it, though, even when he eventually rids himself of the new kid.
scriptsecrets
guests
713. Butt Out (Original Airdate: 12/3/03)
Representatives from the anti-smoking campaign do their song and dance for the children of South Park Elementary, the boys take up the nasty habit.
scriptsecrets
guests
714. Raisins (Original Airdate: 12/10/03)
Wendy breaks up with Stan because he never spends any time with her. To cheer him up, the boys take him to "Raisins,Ē a local restaurant known for its cheap food and hot girls. Later, as Stan tries desperately to win Wendy back, and Butters believes heís found the girl of his dreams.
scriptsecrets
guests
715. It's Christmas in Canada (Original Airdate: 12/17/03)
The Broflovski family is dealt a devastating blow when Ike's Canadian birth parents show up unexpectedly and want their baby back. When the townspeople decide to forego Christmas gifts and take up a collection to get Ike home to South Park, the boys are distraught. Before all the money for their Christmas presents gets spent, they hightail it to Canada to bring Ike home themselves.