The Fifth Season

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501. Scott Tenorman Must Die (Original Airdate: 7/11/01)
Cartman gets pubic hair. But Cartman doesn't get just any pubes; he buys some from one of the older kids at South Park Elementary, Scott Tenorman. Cartman wants to show the other boys that he can be the first kid in the fourth grade with this mark of manliness, until everyone tells him that pubes don't count unless he grows his own. Cartman seeks wicked revenge on Scott Tenorman when he won't give him his money back.
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502. It Hits the Fan (Original Airdate: 6/20/01)
The boys take their place among an elite group who have made television history when Cartman proclaims the "S" word for all the world to hear. He says it so often that the Knights of Standards and Practices thaw out and go forth to stop people from saying it and other words of curse, lest a dragon wake from its sleep and cause havoc around the world.
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503. Cripple Fight! (Original Airdate: 6/27/01)
Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny show up for their scout troop meeting only to find their new leader is none other than Big Gay Al! Timmy is happy and excited to be joining the group until Jimmy, the new "handicapped" kid, steals his spotlight. Meanwhile, Big Gay Al is fired as a Scout leader for being gay.
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504. The Super Best Friends (Original Airdate: 7/4/01)
Stan and Kyle is lured into a cult called Blainetology after David Blaine performs some street magic and passes out some information on himself and his cult. Stan snaps out of it and calls upon Jesus to help him out. Jesus in turns calls upon his superfriends, which includes other deities and religious leaders, to help Stan rescue Kyle and to stop Blaine from converting the rest of the US to his cult.
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505. Terrance & Phillip: Behind the Blow (Original Airdate: 7/18/01)
Terrance and Phillip break up after Phillip gets more acclaim and fame than Terrance does. Terrance gets a new stage partner and lets himself get fat while Phillip pursues Shakespearean stage acting. The boys can't bear to see them apart this way and do their best to bring them back together. Meanwhile, an Earth Day group goes after Kenny.
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506. Cartmanland (Original Airdate: 7/25/01)
Eric Cartman inherits ONE MILLION DOLLARS. With his newfound gains, Cartman indulges in a lifelong dream and buys his own amusement park, CARTMANLAND! But in inimitable Cartman style, he decides to keep the park all to himself and won?t let anyone in, especially Stan and Kyle.
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507. Proper Condom Use (Original Airdate: 8/1/01)
Discussion of AIDS among the kids alarms the parents, who call the school to get some sex education going on. Mr. Mackey takes the boys into one room, Ms. Choksondik into another, and neither of them does a good job at teaching about sex. The boys and the girls harden their positions until a gender war breaks out. Ms. Choksondik and Mr. Mackey discover love and sex on their own - until an explosion rocks the town. Chef has to intervene and clear things up for the kids.
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508. Towelie (Original Airdate: 8/8/01)
A towel that has the ability to walk, talk, and smoke pot finds his way to South Park. The boys befriend it, but find themselves in the middle of the race between the military and the company that created Towelie to reach him first and make use of his advanced technology.
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509. Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants (Original Airdate: 11/7/01)
Filled with the American spirit and inspired by our President, the children of South Park Elementary have sent their dollars to the children of Afghanistan. When Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman receive a package from the kids they sent the money to, personnel from every government agency descends to investigate. The mysterious contents of the box lead the boys to Afghanistan where Cartman squares off against Osama bin Laden.
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510. How To Eat With Your Butt (Original Airdate: 11/14/01)
Once Cartman believes he has seen the funniest thing ever, he regretfully realizes he may never see anything as funny again. As part of an elaborate joke, Cartman manages to get Kenny's school picture plastered all over every "missing child" milk carton in the country. Cartman finds everything about his prank funny until a very strange couple turns up in South Park searching for their lost boy.
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511. The Entity (Original Airdate: 11/21/01)
Mr. Garrison creates a new kind of vehicle - a monowheel that runs on anal and oral power. It becomes a big hit, until it's discovered that oral and anal power isn't required
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512. Here Comes the Neighborhood (Original Airdate: 11/28/01)
Rich people are moving to "South Park" in droves and the townspeople decide to take a stand. When Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman pick on Token for being the only rich kid in town, Token lures other affluent people like himself to South Park. The townspeople are fed up when all the rich people start moving in, and go to extremes to drive them out.
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513. Kenny Dies (Original Airdate: 12/5/01)
Cartman embarks upon a new entrepreneurial venture as he works the benefits of stem cell research to his own advantage. Cartman accidentally discovers a rich source of stem cells and sells them on the open market. When his new source of income is threatened, Cartman fights the system and takes his case all the way to the U.S. Congress.
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514. Butters' Very Own Episode (Original Airdate: 12/12/01)
Butters inadvertently reveals a deep, dark family secret and the ramifications lead him into the seedy underbelly of the big city. Alone and lost, Butters determinedly makes his way through porn theatres and gay bathhouses in an effort get back home.