The Thirteenth Season

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1301. The Ring (Original Airdate: 3/11/09)
Kenny puts on a purity ring. Kenny and his new girlfriend go to a Jonas Brothers’ Concert. Thinking it's his way into her heart (and other body parts), Kenny takes his new girlfriend to a Jonas Brothers Concert. His dream of taking their relationship to the next level is crushed when the Jonas Brothers give them purity rings.

1302. The Coon (Original Airdate: 3/18/09)
One young citizen takes it upon himself to maintain order during a time of despair in South Park. “The Coon” rises from the trash and takes his place as a lone vigilante who wipes out crime in the town of South Park. A rival superhero appears on the scene in the form of “Mysterion” and challenges the Coon’s place as a “symbol” for the town.

1303. Margaritaville (Original Airdate: 3/25/09)
Everyone in South Park is busy pointing fingers when it comes to who is responsible for the state of the economy. Randy steps forward with a solution to fix the desperate financial state everyone finds themselves in. The town gets behind him and everyone starts to live a life that no longer depends on any economy at all. Meanwhile an unlikely savior makes the ultimate sacrifice to solve everyone’s problems.

1304. Eat, Pray, Queef (Original Airdate: 4/1/09)
The 4th Grade boys are the victims of an April Fool’s joke. Someone played an April Fools joke on the boys and it didn’t go over well. Butters is incapacitated, Cartman is furious and the rest of the boys are afraid someone might do it again.

1305. Fishsticks (Original Airdate: 4/8/09)
Creative differences ruin friendships. Cartman decides to help Jimmy with his comedy routine. Everyone loves the new joke they come up with. The joke starts to take off and it even hits all the late night talk shows. The boys are thrilled with how popular it’s become until somebody tries to take all the credit.

1306. Pinewood Derby (Original Airdate: 4/15/09)
Building a Pinewood Derby car is the opportunity for some good old fashioned father-son bonding time. Randy is determined that Stan will win this year’s Pinewood Derby. He comes up with a plan that will assure Stan a first place trophy.

1307. Fatbeard (Original Airdate: 4/22/09)
Cartman plans to run away from home to live the life of a pirate. Butters and a small group of recruits join Cartman in his dream of living on Skull Island where they will frolic in crystal clear waterfalls and discover buried treasure. Cartman promises that paradise awaits if they can just get to Somalia.

1308. Dead Celebrities (Original Airdate: 10/7/09)
The boys bring in professional ghost hunters to investigate evidence of paranormal activity in the Broflovski House. Powerful forces are tormenting Ike. He's freaked out and the stress could kill him. Kyle and the boys are doing everything they can to save him but the poltergeists won't leave Ike alone.

1309. Butters' Bottom Bitch (Original Airdate: 10/14/09)
Prostitution is on the rise in South Park. This affects South Park Elementary in an unusual way. Butters has made it all the way to the 4th grade without ever kissing a girl. All of his friends have been teasing him mercilessly. Butters is determined to catch up with the rest of the boys in his class.

1310. W.T.F. (Original Airdate: 10/21/09)
After attending a WWE match, the boys all want to be professional wrestlers. The boys have found their new calling in life and they hurry to sign up for the wrestling club. They soon find out the kind of wrestling they teach at school is not the same thing they saw at the WWE. The boy’s wrestling coach has the same problem. He’s been struggling for years to get people to see the difference.

1311. Whale Whores (Original Airdate: 10/28/09)
The Japanese are on a mad-hunt to kill all the world’s dolphins and whales. Stan and his family are spending his birthday at the Denver Aquarium where they will get to swim with the dolphins. Things turn bloody when the Japanese attack, kill all the dolphins and ruin Stan’s big day. There seems to be no end to the senseless killing. Stan takes on the cause to save the dolphins from the Japanese.

1312. The F Word (Original Airdate: 11/4/09)
The boys aren't going to let the Harley Festival being held in South Park ruin their weekend. Everyone agrees they've had enough of the loud and obnoxious bikers that have arrived in South Park. The boys are taking on the Harley Riders. They throw down the F word and the game is on.

1313. Dances With Smurfs (Original Airdate: 11/11/09)
Cartman has a daily forum for his agenda when he is chosen to do the morning announcements. Eric Cartman seizes the opportunity to become the voice of change at the school when he takes over the morning announcements. His target is South Park Elementary’s Student Body President, Wendy Testaburger. Cartman is asking the tough questions and gaining followers.

1314. Pee (Original Airdate: 11/18/09)
The boys are super excited to spend the day at Pipi’s Splash Town but there is danger at every turn. Things at the water park are not what they seem. The boy’s fun filled day is about to turn deadly. Events are in play at Splash Town that signal the end of the world is upon us. Cartman tries to warn everyone but no one will listen. Disaster is about to strike and the boys are in a race to survive.