South Park Guest
Biographies: Season 7

I'm A Little Bit Country

Reporter Tom Stansel, Driver / Official Messenger Boy

Reporter Tom Stansel catches the boys just as the protesters and supporters converge near the school. He asks them why they are protesting the war, seeing as they have protest signs. When they tell him war is gay, he asks them how gay it is, and what exactly is gay about it. After Cartman induces his own electrocution, he achieves his flashback. He finds himself in Colonial dress and meets a messenger boy, who takes him to Jefferson's house. Once there, after being told he can't see Jefferson, he watches the messenger boy leave, then beats the life out of him with a stick of firewood, then drags the body off to one side.

Members of the Continental Congress

Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams

John Hancock, Congressman 3 (Hopkins), John Dickinson

Congressman 1, Congressman 2

The first Congressman we meet is Thomas Jefferson, the head writer of the Declaration of Independence. He gives the Declaration to Cartman to deliver to Congress for him. He shows up later to join in the discussion. Then we meet John Hancock, who is President of the Congress when the Declaration of Independence is signed. He asks John Adams to read the Declaration to Congress. Adans and Hopkins for war, Dickenson is against. Two other congressmen have things to say - the first one says that England will understand only force, while the second one reminds the Congress of the states that are against war. Finally we meet Benjamin Franklin, who doesn't see any problem in creating a country in which we do one thing and say another, sometimes opposite, thing. Cartman remembers this and comes back to tell his town what he learned from the Founding Fathers: that disagreement is our country's strength - we can have our cake and eat it, too.

Krazy Kripples

Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Dr. Doom

Christopher Reeve arrives at South Park to show how stem-cell research has helped him gain more and more mobility. He sucks on dead fetuses to get at their stem cells, thereby becoming able to move his hands, then his arms, then his legs, then his entire body. He keeps at it until he becomes superhuman once again, but became Gene Hackman's nemesis when Hackman came to stop him from taking stem cells any longer. Somehow, Hackman trapped Reeve in a pane of glass and had him launched into space. Doctor Doom was one of the supervillains to talk when Reeve gathered the supervillains together to stop Gene Hackman (Saddam and Professor Chaos were the other two to speak). The Legion of Doom never got the chance to stop Hackman.

Bloods, Crips

Buff Crip, "58" Crip, Cipac

The Bloods are known for the red that they were, for the color of blood that red represents. The Crips are indeed known for their crippled gang members, who get that way in gang fights and assaults. Jimmy and Timmy join the Crips and find a few members who are crippled in some way, thus justifying their decision to join the gang. The buff Crip is the gang leader, and two other gang members, the Crip wearing #58 and Cipac the hobbling Crip, leave impressions in this ep.

Detectives Hyde and Richardson

These detectives come in from Denver to investigate the crime scene and ask Jimmy and Timmy about the gang members who shot up their houses. Jimmy doesn't understand the danger of these gangs, but decides to get them together nonetheless.

Larry King, Mr. McGillicuddy, Mr. Appleby

Larry King interviews Christopher Reeve about the ways stem-cell research has helped him recover from his disability. Mr. McGillicuddy, owner of The T-shirt Factory, sees what Jimmy and Timmy have created and decides not to make T-shirts with "The CRIPS" on it. Mr. Appleby, the rec center janitor, gives Jimmy and Timmy the whole night to get the Crips and the Bloods to get together and stop hating each other.

Toilet Paper

Josh Meyers, Prison Warden, Policeman Brown

Josh Meyers is the little boy whom Officer Barbrady talks to in the hopes of solving the TP case concerning the art teacher. Josh talks and acts like Hannibal Lecter, even making a daring escape at the end of the episode using nothing but the toilet paper he spotted in the principal's office. He was sent to Juvenile Hall for three weeks after having toilet-papered over 600 houses in less than a year. His next project: to toilet-paper the White House. He was of some use to Barbrady, but neither of them played a significant role in solving the case. The warden takes Barbrady to Josh's block and shows him where Josh's cell is. He later asks Josh if he did that silly voice for the policeman again. Policeman Brown brings Josh, bound and muzzled, to the principal, who kicks him out after he asked some outrageous questions. Outside, Josh makes his escape, toilet-papering Brown and bolting for the door. Barbrady finds Brown covered in toilet paper and asks why he didn't go after Josh. Brown said he'd look silly running down the street covered in toilet paper.

The Dreibles; Jason Bell

Mrs. Dreible is the art teacher who reprimands the boys for making a phallus in art class when they should be making a vase, a pot, or some other clay item. When they just laugh at her for holding the phallus in her hands, she keeps them after school to make more art for her. They get even by planning to toilet-paper her house that evening. They go buy lots of toilet paper and do the dirty deed. In the following days, Mr. Dreible cleans off the toilet paper from his property, but finds Officer Barbrady covering the place in police tape. Mr. Dreible is surprised that Barbrady would go to all this trouble to solve a case and surmises that Barbrady has nothing better to do. Barbrady confirms this. Mr. Bell is the cashier who sold the toilet paper to the boys. He is called in later by Barbrady to identify the paper. He asks how anyone could do such horrible things to the paper he sees.


The Proctologist, Jeff

The proctologist is the first specialist Chef and the boys see when they want to know what it is about Cartman's ass that is making everyone have déjà vu. The proctologist activates the probe, but can't seem to do anything with it, because it's like no hemorrhoid he's ever seen. That's when Chef suggests they see someone who can actually help, Jeff. Jeff wants to activate the probe, but Cartman doesn't want anyone touching his anus... except Kyle. After a series of farts, Kyle has had enough and charges into Cartman's ass. The probe comes out and starts transmitting a TV signal out into space. Jeff then goes to work breaking the signal's code and translating it into English. He begins each part of this by free word association. Jeff brings his findings to his colleagues in the space community, revealing them to be parts of a TV show. His colleagues jump for joy at being famous throughout the universe.

Nagix (as a taco, and as himself), the Joozians

Nagix is the aliens the boys deal with until they reach planet Fognl. His actual form is hideous, so he tries to appear in a form suitable to the boys. After he gives up, they suggest he turn into a taco that craps ice cream. He does so and shows the boys around Nerzod Productions, a studio within the space ship. While he does this he gets word that Earth has been cancelled. He breaks the bad news to the boys, who press their case that Earth should continue. He tells them to see the network heads about keeping the show on. The boys leave and meet the Joozian network heads at planet Fognl. The boys press their case, but the Joozians brush them off long enough to take the boys to a restaurant, a strip club, and a hotel, each setting sleazier than the last. The boys sense there's something wrong with what they're seeing, but Kenny takes a picture. The boys and the Joozian end up once again at Fognl headquarters, where the boys promise not to show the picture Kenny took if the Joozians promise not to cancel Earth. The Joozians agree to this, erase the boy's memories (and the memories of everyone else on Earth), and transport the boys back to the bus stop, where the boys begin the same day a third time...

Fat Butt and Pancake Head

Latino Endowment Council members

Make Your Own Video cashier, Police Officers

The five members of the Latino Endowment Council look on as the kids in class give their oral reports on the Latino experience in the U.S. Kyle is sure he has the best report until Cartman begins with his ventriloquism. The cashier makes a tape of "Jeniifer Lopez" singing about taco-flavored kisses, at Cartman's request, and decides to send a copy of it to a friend in Los Angeles who is in the music industry. The police come to arrest the real Jennifer Lopez after they get a report of a woman wielding a chainsaw and chasing after a boy. They mistake Jennifer Lopez for an undocumented worker, demanding that she drop her weapon and arresting her after the BHI Records people ask them to, since Jennifer attempted to kill their new artiest.

BHI President and Aides, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck

The president of BHI Records and his aides get wind of a new singer living in South Park and decide to hire her after viewing her video. Her name is Jennifer Lopez, so, in order to avoid confusion, they fire the original Jennifer Lopez. She leaves and gets into her limo, where Ben Affleck waits, and demands that the driver take her to South Park. Once there, she searches for this other Jennifer Lopez. Butters notices Jennifer and Ben getting out of the limo in front of the school, and once Mr. Garrison sees them, the class heads outside. The school soon follows, and Ms. Lopez demands that the impostor come out. When no one speaks she decides to just give a warning and leave. Once out of view, "Jennifer Lopez" tells Jennifer Lopez to suck her ass. Jennifer returns demanding to know who said that, and all the kids back away from Cartman. Jennifer beats up Cartman's hand. Ben Affleck soon walks up to be at Jennifer's side, but is smitten by the new "Jennifer Lopez." The BHI Records people continue with their new Jennifer Lopez, laying down tracks for her album, while Ben begins a torrid affair with her. Undercover pictures lead to a National Inquisition cover story with a picture of Ben and "Jennifer" on the front cover. Jennifer returns to whack this new "Jennifer," and Cartman ends up in hospital with two dislocated fingers and a hairline fracture in one of the bones in the palm. After Cartman's hand recovers, he wakes up in bed one morning to find Ben Affleck next to him and Ben's spooge in his left hand. Ben and "Jennifer" had made love all night long while Cartman was asleep and now they were planning to marry. Cartman talks to Stan and Kyle about this, but they still don't believe his story. Cartman leaves, only to find himself chased by Ben (who wants to marry "Jennifer"), the BHI Records people (who want "Jennifer" back in studio for more recordings), and Jennifer (who wants to kill "Jennifer" for wanting to marry Ben). Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are at the doorway to see this happen and try to keep up. Cartman arrives at a bridge only to find a police car coming at him from the other end. Jennifer is still chasing him with a chainsaw, but the police demand that she put the weapon down. Jennifer is arrested and taken away. Once "Jennifer" reveals herself to be "Mitch Connor" and leaves in a gust of wind, Ben and the BHI Records people leave. Jennifer is last seen working at a La Taco restaurant.

"Jennifer Lopez", a fan in a dream concert, and "Mitch Connor"

Cartman creates "Jennifer Lopez" as part of his presentation during Cultural Diversity week in South Park, but continues with it after he wins the $20 gift certificate. "Jennifer" takes on a life of her own after making the "taco-flavored kisses" video at the video-making store. She gets a call from BHI Records asking her to write and sing enough songs to make an album, and she takes to it with gusto. She gets Cartman in trouble by talking back to Jennifer Lopez in front of the school building and somehow manages to take Ben Affleck away from her. "Jennifer" does things to Ben that a normal hand wouldn't do, and Ben proposes to her. "Jennifer" even has dreams of becoming rich and famous. Part of that dream involves the fan shown above, just one of many proclaiming they love "Jennifer Lopez." Once Jennifer Lopez is arrrested and Ben and the BHI Records people fight over "Jennifer", she reveals that she is actually "Mitch Connor," a con man who realized he's ruined a woman's career, cost a record company millions, inconvenienced a young boy and led Ben Affleck on. He leads Cartman to one side of a bridge, and leaves his hand in a gust of wind.

Lil' Crime Stoppers

Playing Detective

Old Couple, Sarah Peterson and her Mom.

FBI Boys, led by "Agent" Tucker

The episode begins with the boys trying to get their first jobs as detectives. They go from house to house looking for a case to solve. They talk to an old woman who says her pie was stolen two days before. When they find the culprit, they build up a scenario involving the woman's husband, and she shoos them out quickly. They get a dollar out of it, though. Their next case involves a doll belonging to Sarah. They find the doll in Fosse's house, where Fosse and Bill are playing with it. The boys go in and retrieve the doll, giving it to Sarah later. Her mom is so appreciative she recommends the boys to the Park County Police. The boys are challenged by the FBI boys at every turn, but solve the case first.

The Meth Lab Mission

Lt. Dawson, Murphy, Jenkins, and Hopkins

Four Meth Lab men

Lieutenant Dawson calls the boys in after receiving Ms. Peterson's recommendation. He sends the boys on their first official mission - to break up a meth lab. The boys succeed in doing so without firing a shot - the culprits self-destruct. One is shot by another and runs out covered in flames. Two more drive off in a truck, only to hit a snag and end up on their sides inside the truck which is struck by a UPS truck, and both trucks end up in a traffic collision at a nearby intersection. The fourth man runs out of fuel while he's in flight, and crashes into two buildings. Later, Murphy and Jenkins are worried that the new cops are going to clean up the department and expose their clandestine deals with criminals. Hopkins sticks up for the boys. Dawson rides the boys hard, as he is under pressure by the Mayor to get results.

The Peppermint Hippo Mission

Gino and his goons

Peppemint Hippo Stripper, Bouncer, and DJ

FBI Agents, led by Agent Fields

Gino and his goons learn that the meth lab they relied on to make their meth has been destroyed, so they resort to the McCormicks to make their meth again. It's not shown that the McCormicks Gino mentions are related to Kenny. The boys enter the club to check it out, and an old stripper starts asking them if any of them want to dance. A DJ announces new strippers as they come out. A bouncer notices the boys and asks what they're doing there, as kids aren't allowed there. He takes them to Gino, but one of the goons recognizes them as detectives. The shootout begins. Dawson arrives with his men, and he sends them in. Gino recognizes Murphy, and Murphy and Jenkins switch sides. Hopkins is left to shoot it out with seven men, and he successfully guns down four of them - Gino's goons. Murphy and Jenkins announce their partnership with Gino, but Murphy kills Gino, then Jenkins. Because he can trust no one, he kills himself. Hopkins, who was injured in the gunfight, is treated and shows up later with his arm in a sling. The FBI show up, but have nothing to do. Dawson decides to make the boys full-fledged detectives, but the boys pass. They end the episode playing "Laundromat."

Red Man's Greed

Three Feathers Tribe

Chief Runs with Premise, wife, and son Premise Running Thin

Three Feathers Elders, Three Feathers Medicine Man

Chief Runs with Premise runs the Three Feathers Casino, and he finds that he needs more money to keep his Casino in the black. He and his elders decide to build a superhighway from Denver to the casion, but find South Park in the way. They plot to buy the town and destroy it to make way for the highway. He rounds up Chinese men infected with SARS and has them wiped onto blankets, then passes the blankets out to the South Park residents. They get sick. His son comes down with SARS after sharing a cup with one of the Chinese men, and his wife alerts him. The medicine man tries to cure the boy, but to no avail. When Runs with Premise and his men go to destroy the town, he find that they have cured themselves somehow and asks for their secret. The townsfolk share their secret, Premise Running Thin gets well, and the residents get to keep the town.

Three Feathers Casino

Blackjack and Roulette dealers, Johnny Manymoons

The blackjack dealer got Gerald to lose $26,000... and the house. The roulette dealer got the town to win $350,000... and then to lose it all. Johnny Manymoons is the featured comedy act at Three Feathers, but his jokes come at a slow pace.

Other Characters

Wise Man in Trailer Park, Alex Glick

The wise man in the trailer park becomes Stan's inward guide and gives him a good whiff of paint thinner to get him started on his inward journey. Alex is present throughout the episode, but the kids don't say anything about it until the end. Then they just kick him out of town.

South Park Is Gay

(l-r) Kyan, Thom, Jai, Carson, Ted; HBC Head of Programming

Crab People

Kyan (interior design), Thom (hair stylist), Jai (culture), Carson (fashion) and Ted (chef) are the gay men in Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, a program whose purpose is to make straight men more stylish and responsive to their women. In this episode Mr. Garrison takes them to task for selling out gay culture to the straight white man. He tries to convince them to stop selling out, but they turn him down. He suspects them of not being gay at all. They turn and tell him he's right. They are actually crab people, banished to the underground by man 1000 years ago and now trying to take over the world. The HBC Head of Programming is pleased with the ratings the Queer Eye For The Straight Guy men bring to the station. When the women of South Park break into the studio and beat the men to death, the Head of Programming plans on having them arrested for murder, until he sees a crab person crawl out of one of the men. Upon seeing this, the Head of Programming realizes this had happened before, when the crab people tried to turn white people on to black culture with The Jeffersons.


Butters' new friend, at least to us. He might be a third grader or a second grader, since he goes off to a different classroom than Butters does. Connor could also be Dougie's friend, since both are younger than Butters. Connor can be seen among the gang of kids beating up Kyle in the playground for being straight.

Christian Rock Hard

FBI Detective, Metallica, Britney Spears, U.S. Mail delivery driver

After the FBI agents stormed into Kyle's hosue to arrest him, Stan, and Kenny, an FBI detective grilled them for a few hours at one of its offices. He also grilled their parents. The boys, known as MOOP, agree not to download any more music, realizing that if MOOP becomes famous, its music will also be downloaded for free. The boys go on strike, but are alone in their action until other musicians hear of their strike. So in come Metallica and Britney, shown above, and a bunch of other acts. During the strike, a USPS driver shows up with a certified letter for MOOP. The letter invites MOOP to attend a platinum record award ceremony for Cartman's group, Faith + 1, and MOOP resolves to play music, regardless of financial gain. MOOP realizes that fans will buy the music if it is good.

Trinity, Sanctified

Trinity and Sanctified are two acts featured in Christfest. Trinity is playing when Faith + 1 looks at the stage for the first time. Sanctified is looking for backstage, and Cartman shows them where it is. He decides to pray with them for a bit, so he leads them into a small room and quickly locks them in. He also gets a chair and props it up against the door so Sanctified doesn't get out. Faith + 1 takes its place in the lineup.

T-Shirt and Bible Vendors, MC and stagehand, Elderly Woman

Some of the people in Christfest: the vendors selling T-Shirts and leather-bound Bibles, and the MC announcing the acts and stagehand getting them ready. An elderly woman buys a Faith + 1 album. Butters lets slip that they aren't really Christian, and the woman is stunned. She buys the album anyway.

Faith Records CEO and Executives

Finally there are people who work in the Christian rock industry. Faith Records representatives look over the lyrics and let Faith + 1 know they have reservations about some of them, despite their joy at the band's success. One of the representatives is Michael Collins, shown at left. He gives Faith + 1 a myrrh album, which ruins Cartman's bet with Kyle and causes Cartman to blaspheme Jesus.

Grey Dawn

DMV Officials, Bill Stewart and The AARP

After a serious of accidents caused by elderly drivers, a law is passed to take away their licenses and the DMV goes to work doing so. The seniors stand in line at the DMV office, hand in their licenses, and leave, but Grandpa Marvin Marsh will not be bowed. He drives without a license and is thrown into jail. He places a call to the AARP, which arrives rather quickly, but not before it goes to Country Kitchen Buffet to fill up. The AARP descends upon the town in teams of paratroopers, with firearms and other weapons at their disposal. The AARP members round up everyone between 18 and 55 and herd them over to the abandoned drive-in, where they are held until the seniors get their driver's licenses back. Randy calls the boys to make a plan to defeat the seniors, and the boys get to work. Knowing that seniors love their buffets, the boys sneak into Country Kitchen Buffet overnight and lock it up. In the morning the seniors gather at the Buffet to enjoy breakfast and talk strategy, but find the restaurant closed. They clamor to get in, but hours pass and they fall away, until the last senior moving stops and collapses. The army comes in and rounds up the seniors, thanking Stan and the boys for their benign yet effective plan.

Casa Bonita

Police Captain, Irene

Officer Barbrady had been South Park's only police force when the boys were in third grade, but since they entered fourth grade, Barbrady's department has grown. He's Chief of Police now, though he still looks like a regular officer, or an officer who's behind the times as far as dress goes. He now has at least one captain, whom you see here, and that captain led the search for Butters, whom Cartman kept hidden away in Jimbo's bomb shelter. When the search was expanded to include bomb shelters, Cartman had to take Butters to the dump and have him believe the town had been destroyed by a meteor. The captain eventually heard from Butters, and the search for Butters turned into the search for Cartman, who was scheduled to spend a week in Juvenile Hall for this little crime. The South Park Dump worker is called Irene, but her name wasn't uttered. The name is on her nametag though. She found Butters living in the dump and building his own little town, still thinking South Park had indeed been destroyed. She told him everything was fine and the town was still there. Butters realized that Cartman had tricked him and so called the police to let them know he was alive and all right.

All About Mormons?

Gary Harrison and his family (Karen, Jenny, Mark, Dave, Gary Sr., and Amanda)

Gary Harrison is the new student in Mr. Garrison's class. He was Utah's wrestling champion among the kids in his age group, as well as a tennis champion. He comes to South Park with a 4.0 grade point average and two toothpaste commercials under his belt. He's terrible upbeat and polite, two characteristics the other boys recoil at. They urge Stan to be the welcoming committee and beat Gary up. Stan goes to beat him up, but Gary disarms him with perception - since Gary is the new kid, he's ready to take whatever punishment is meted out to newbies. Stan ends up going to Gary's house that night. After he returns to his home he asks his father about Mormonism, but Randy instead leaves to confront Gary's father and tell him to have his son stay away from Stan. Randy is disarmed by their niceness and perception and has the family over for dinner the next day. Stan perceives this politeness to be a subversive way to get him to become a Mormon and he fights it. Gary is offended, since all he wanted was to be Stan's friend. The Harrisons themselves are nice people, quite relaxed and tolerant of other beliefe - they don't really try to force their beliefs on anyone, or to subvert anyone else's beliefs. Because of their Family Home Evenings, they encourage each other and rejoice in each other's accomplishments, something you don't see in a regular household. The parents are Gary and Karen. The boys are Mark, Gary, and Dave. The girls are Jenny and Amanda.

Martin and Lucy Harris, Moroni

You can find Joseph Smith's image among the guests in "SuperBestFriends." His story follows: he is the prophet sent by Moroni to evangelize both the Native Americans and the apostate Christians. He was directed to a hill on which he dug and found a box which contained gold tablets and two seer stones: the Urim and the Thummim. He would then drop these stones into a hat, looked into the hat, and dictate what he saw there, saying that a divine light shone in the hat, revealing to him the characters on the gold tablets (which he would not read directly, as the tablets were too big for the had) and the English translations of said characters. One of his scribes, Martin Harris, agreed to poblish Smith's translation, the Book of Mormon. Harris took some of the unfinished book to his wife Lucy to show her what Smith was working on. Lucy Harris had her doubts about Joseph Smith's ability to translate the tablets, so she hid 116 pages he had already translated, daring him to translate them again. If this is indeed a testament of Jesus Christ, Smith should have no trouble coming up with an exact replica. Smith instead told Harris that Moroni told him not to translate from the tablets he used the first time, but from another set of tablets that covered the same info, but more concisely and spiritually. Moroni is the angel who came to see Joseph Smith about starting up a new church, as all the other churches then in esixtence seem to have gotten Jesus' message all wrong. He told Joseph Smith where to find the gold tablets he was to use to dictate or divine this new testament of Jesus Christ, and what to do when the translation was doubted. The missing pages have been lost and presumed burned.

Blacksmith, Customer, and Woman; a butler and his wife

These four are just examples of people who questioned or doubted Joseph Smith about his work and his revelation.

Butt Out

Butt Out!: Pam, Vernon, Kyle, and Randy

These four came to motivate the students of South Park to not smoke cigarettes, but their delivery is lame. When they suggest that the kids can grow up to be just like them, the boys think not and proceed to start smoking the next day, even though Stan and Kyle know better. Randy does the beat-box sounds and rap tongue-twisters, Pam ends their rap making the sounds of a diesel truck, Kyle spells out "Butt Out, Cigarette!", and Vernon does a few beat-box sounds of his own.

Rob Reiner and his Smoke Stoppers staff, Sawmill Worker (BUDS Man)

Rob Reiner is called upon to help ban smoking in Colorado. He focuses on the bars there. He has a ravenouse appetite, so hearing him lobby to ban cigarettes for better health rings false, since he no doubt has health problems from his weight. He, disguised as Rita Poon, and the boys go undercover at the Big Tobacco company, taking a tour so they can take a picture at the factory of the boys. Reiner then has his staff digitally insert cigarettes onto the boys' hands so they look like they're actually smoking on the factory floor. He then has Cartman make a commercial saying he's going to die soon from lung cancer due to smoking. The pale hunch-back offers Cartman a cupcake as reward for his work, but Cartman senses that the cupcake will do something bad to him, maybe even kill him, so he bolts out the door. He tells his friends about the danger he's in, and the boys have a decision to make. They choose to deal with the big showdown they often face on the show, but realize too late that they would have been grounded either way.
The man wearing the BUDS hat is smoking at the bar when Reiner notices him. He tries to get the man's attention, but fails at first. He goes to talk to the man about the effects of smoking. Cartman admires Reiner's willfulness.

Big Tobacco receptionist and Kevin Harris

The receptionist is the first person Reiner and the boys meet.when they go to Big Tobacco to take a tour. Kevin Harris, V.P. of Big Tobacco, arrives and takes them on a tour, which ends with a view of the activity on the factory floor. Reiner takes the picture he wants and rips off his costume, then he and the boys run out of there. The boys go back to the tobacco company for protection when Cartman reveals he's about to be sacrificed for Smoke Stoppers' cause. The boys come to realize that both sides of the smoking issue will lie in order to get their points across. Big Tobacco will lie about the health effects of cigarettes so they can get more customers, anti-smoking groups will demonize Big Tobacco to get customers to stop smoking.


Raisin Girls, and Bouncer

Mercedes, Lexus, Porsche, Ferrari, Maury

Mercedes seems to run the operation at Raisins, being head waitress. She greets the customers as they enter the restaurant and orients new employees like Ferrari on the Raisins way of making their customers feel at home. Lexus is the Raisins girl who takes a liking to Butters, but only because he looks like an easy mark. His feelings back to her are genuine, so he has to learn from his parents how girls like Lexus work. Butters doesn't like the lesson, but Lexus makes it clear that she's not his girlfriend. After she dumps him, Butters sees that his parents are right. Porsche is the Raisins girl Kyle hooks Stan up with, but Stan doesn't warm up to her. She's rather air-headed, as Butters' mom rightly concludes, so hearing her talk on and on just reminds Stan of Wendy, with whom he had conversations of more substance and intellect. He gets miserable and finally asks his friends if they can leave. Ferrari is the new girl, and her orientation provides insight into the world of waitressing. Maury is the bouncer any good restaurant or bar has. Lexus calls on him to escort her to her bike so Butters doesn't try anything funny on her. Once she's gone, Maury returns to the restaurant.

Goth Kids, including Henrietta, and Benny's Waitress

The Goth kids are rather homogeneous and interchangeable. The first Goth boy has hair that often falls on his face, so he has to jerk his head back so the hair falls back into place. He wears blue shoes and has red streaks in his hair. The second Goth boy sports a pompadour and wears a suit. The Goth girl, Henrietta, seems most at home in the Goth environment - think Elvira - and the little Goth boy is quite brainy for his age. They consider themselves non-conformist, but amongst themselves they share the same tastes and style of dress, showing that there is conformity even among themselves. All a new member has to do is dress like them and listen to the same music they do, which is the very definition of conformity. They fail to see the irony. The Benny's waitress is the usual waitress you would expect to find in an establishment that has been around a looong time - she's been working there many years.

It's Christmas in Canada

Harry and Elise Gints, Park County Judge

Harry and Elise come to visit the Broflovskis and ask them if they are the family who adopted their son Peter. Elise recognizes Ike as that Peter and rushes to meet him. The Gintses and the Broflovskis talk about visiting rights, but the Gintses soom make it clear they didn't come to visit. They came to take their son back. They also make clear that a new law from the new Prime Minister makes that possible. The Broflovskis appeal this in a Park County court, but the judge says his hands are tied. After Kyle and friends reach the new Prime Minister, Scott arrives with the Gintses. After the Prime Minister is exposed as Saddam Hussein, the Gintses see that Kyle does love Peter and so put Peter on the floor to see if he felt the same towards Kyle. He did, and so Kyle gets his little brother back.

Rick the Mountie, The Mime, Steve the Newfie, new Canadian PM, The Doorman

When the boys begin their trek towards the Prime Minister they meet the Mountie, who rides on a sheep. When the Mountie learns where the boys are going, he asks if he can join them so he can get the Mounties' horses back. The boys and the Mountie then go through French Canada and meet the Mime, who joins them. The Mime wants to ask the Prime Minister to allow the French Canadians to drink wine again. The boys, Mountie, and Mime reach Newfoundland, where Scott threatens to stop their trek. Steve the Newfie steps out of his house and threatens to hav Scott arrested for trespassing on Newfie property. Scott leaves and Steve learns where the group is going. He wants to join them so he can ask the Prime Minister to reinstate sodomy among the Newfies.. All seven people arrive at Parliament and meet the Doorman, asking him to let them see the PM. The Doorman denies them, saying the PM is on official business in China. The boys turn and leave, then sob because they can't get Ike back before Christmas and so they'll miss Christmas activities back home. The Doorman is moved and thus allows the group to enter Parliament. They meet the PM, who is a hovering holographic head. They make their case to him, but he turns them down, then laser-blasts Kenny to death. As Kyle persists in his appeal, Stan sees a curtain and pulls it back. Who he sees... is Saddam Hussein. With this turn of events, the PM is arrested and his laws are rescinded. The Mounties get their horses back, the French Canadians get their wine back, the Newfie gets his sodomy back, and Kyle gets his brother Ike back.