South Park Guest
Biographies: Season 22

Dead Kids

SWAT Officer 1, SWAT Officer 2, Paramedic, Townsman

SWAT Officer 1 enters the classroom and makes sure it's clear. Mrs. Nelson continues her lesson despite the intrusion so her class doesn't panic. SWAT Officer 2 reports that the shooter is in the hallway, so he and SWAT Officer 1 head over and stop him. The paramedic talks to Randy about the significance of menopause in a woman's life. The townsman wonders why Sharon wants everyone to be sad.
We've seen the doctor already in "T.M.I." He deals in mental health, as he did anger management back then, and Sharon's issues here.
The boy we saw abducted in "Sons A Witches" now has a name: Billy. But no lines.

A Boyt And A Priest

Josie and Townsman, Ted and Hazel, Woman 1, Woman 2, Woman 3

Townsman 1, Townsman 2, Townsman 3, Townsman 4, Townsman 5

Mr. Mackey greets Ted and Hazel in the parking lot. Josie and her husband talk to Randy - he talks to the husband first when he notices Josie's not with him, then talks to Josie the following Sunday when she's all better. Woman 1 jokes about the Lord giving underwear to kids that priests couldn't pull down so easily. Woman 2 asks who mentioned the naked boy salad, Woman 3 asks what's going on when Randy and Ryan can't open the church doors.
Townsman 1 provides the jokes at the beginning and end of the episode, Townsman 2 announces that the church is open again and there are people in it. Townsman 3 is eager to go go go there to see what's going on, Townsman 4 is disappointed when he learns Fr. Maxi isn't there after all. Townsman 5 jokes about a priest at Chuck E. Cheese at the end of the episode.

The Archbishop and The Cleanup Crew

Archbishop; Assistant, Monsignor, Priest

The archbishop of Denver hears from Mr. Mackey about the missing priest and immediately fears that the priest has gone rogue, prompting him to call in the cleanup crew. The crew consists of a monsignor, an assistant, and a priest, who end up going around town cleaning up everywhere Fr. Maxi had visited before disappearing.

The Problem With A Poo

Lawyers Mr. Hankey visits

Male Lawyer and Female lawyer, J. Prewitt

Assuming the lawyers in the first pic are seated according to the names behind them, the male lawyer is Schulz, and the female lawyer is Tate. All the lawyers, though, kick Mr. Hankey out. Mr. Broflovski does so as well.

Food 4 Little Shoppers

Elderly Woman, Man 1 and Woman 1, Man 2

The first three shoppers here comment on how PC the babies look, and Man 1 elicits a cry from them when he tells them about Monica Lewinsky becoming a Republican. Man 2 elicits another cry when he asks where the Oriental food aisle is.

Hell's Pass Hospital

Dr. Bender, Female Nurse and Male Nurse

Dr. Bender talks to PC Principal about the quintuplets Strong Woman has given birth to, and notices that they're extremely PC, but doesn't connect the dots, instead going with Strong Woman's assertion that the babies' father doesn't exist. The female nurse tells Strong Woman that the babies are ready to be held. The male nurse is the first to see them cry, and realizes they're PC babies after looking at his own shirt.


Man 3, Man 4, Man 5, Woman 2 and Jogger, Girl and Mother

A councilwoman, Mr. Waithouse, Newscaster

Man 3 tells Mr. Hankey not to upset the babies. Man 4 tells Mr. Hankey PC babies sometimes don't know what they're crying about. Man 5 screams at Kyle for supporting pieces of crap. Woman 2 and the jogger comment on how PC the babies look. The girl norices that Kyle stinks, and her mother agrees and walks off with her.
The councilwoman is of the opinion tht shit isn't the best representation of Christmas. Mr. Waithouse questions Mr. Hankey about comments and tweets he's made against the town and its people over the years. The newscaster announces the end of the relationship between Mr. Hankey and the town.

Springfield Residents

Bart and Apu

Bart Simpson finds it cool that there's a talking piece of poo in Springfield. Apu officially welcomes Mr. Hankey to town.

Tegridy Farms

Joe, Clerk, Patron, Bodybuilder

Vape Rep, Vape Dealer, Vaping Man

Joe is the farmer Randy befriends out in the country, but he soon moves to Maui after a generous offer from the Vape Rep. This makes Randy take action to stop Big Vape from causing any more harm to the school kids. The clerk gives the vape dealer some vape pens. The patron asks what tegridy means. The bodybuilder dares Randy to say he's a pussy, and Randy knocks him out.
The vape rep tries to buy Randy's hemp product to add to his own line of vaping products, but Randy isn't having it. The rep later tries to stop the boys from collecting the vape liquid from the tanks, but Randy shows up with Towelie to defeat him. The vape dealer buys some products from the clerk, then goes to talk to the boys outside about his money. Butters hobbles him with a crowbar. The Vaping Man is a spoof of the Kool-Aid Man and first appears as Cartman's markeing gimmick. He and the dealer could be the same person.
The three kindergartners know about vaping and belong to the grade that has the largest number of vapers. Three syndicates vie for their business. The girl is Jenny, first seen in "Trapper Keeper." She likes lemon flavor. Quaid is the boy who blew smoke into Kyle's face and told him to "relax, bitch." The unnamed boy pretends he's a truck and likes raspberry flavor. Filmore is also here, but doesn't speak.
Ms. Blaze was first shown in "Lil Crime Stoppers" as a stripper in the Pepperment Rhino. She's appeared in "The Return Of Chef" and in the games as that stripper, but here she's the receptionist at South Park Elementary's administrative office. She directs Kyle to the principal's office, where he sees Cartman and Butters waiting to see the principal.

The Scoots

Food 4 Little Associate, Guard, Neighbor, Reporter, Officer

I'd include the 10 scooter riders who had lines, but they're just quick apologies to Mr. Mackey for bumping into his car.
The Food 4 Little Associate tells Mackey where to find the candy, but when Mackey gets there, all the candy is gone and two people lay unconscious on the ground.
The guard is dressed as Jason Voorhees, but is surprised that anyone went out as far as Mackey and Kenny did to trick-or-treat.
The neighbor across the street tells Mackey about e-scooters, but doesn't know where they came from either.
The reporter announces the situation in New York City: completely out of candy.
The officer is new. He covers his ears from the banging going on outside, but has his eyes on the TV further inside the station, and alerts Yates to the news report.

Time To Get Cereal

Receptionist, Susan. Husband

The boys walk up to the receptionist at Denver City Hall and ask her if she's seen Al Gore. She tells them the man in the picture they show her looks very much like Jim Turner, state bowling champion, and tells them where to find him. The boys recognize Gore as soon as they see him. Susan and her husband argue over ManBearPig, but she can see ManBearPig while he's trying to convince her that ManBearPig isn't real. She tells him to look behind him, and he admits that ManBearPig is real. But what to do about it now, and what would anyone else do about it? ManBearPig bites down on his head and crushes it.

Officers 1, 2, 3, 4 (left) and 5, 6

Officer 1 asks Yates if he's going to enjoy some rest and relaxation. Later on in the episode, he reveals that one can bypass the first brawl at the saloon by hunting with Dutch in Red Dead Redemption 2. He appeared as Officer 3 in "The Poor Kid." Officer 2 alerts Yates every time a new death of a kid is called in. Officer 3 notes that the kindergartner killed at South Park Elementary was eaten after being killed. Officers 4 and 5 investigate the carnage at Baskin Robbins and mention Stan and Kyle as the friends of the two suspect kids, and now all four boys are implicated in recent school shootings. Officer 6 tells the suspects to put their hands where the police can see them.

Officer Brown here has appeared previouly as Officer Barkley.

Nobody Got Cereal?

Should We Start To Worry?

Jim Kimble, Alec Vaughn, Guest

Jim Kimble is the hose of this new show, debuting after ManBearPig began destroying the town and killing its residents. No reason to think he's Sharon's dad, though. Alec comments on how ManBearPig took Satan down like a bitch, and thinks maaaybe it's time for people to think about starting to worry. The Guest agrees, and adds that the time to do so is... very soon.


Officer Jenkins, Officer 7, Officer 8

Even the police succumbs to RDR2. Jenkins is seen in the beginning of the episode playing the game and enjoying it too much, given the inmates he has to look after. Cartman tricks him into letting them go, and Yates hears about it later on. Officer 7 tries to tell Yates that the carnage at Jared's was due to ManBearPig, not school shooters, but Yates is hearing none of it. Officer 8 takes to the megaphone and orders the boys to drop to the ground and put their hands on their heads.


Husband and Wife, Speaker, Margaret, Mr. Clarkson, Reporter, Lawyer

Townsman 1, Townsman 2, Townsman 3, Townsman 4, Townsman 5, Townsman 6

The couple comes out of Jared's full of hope for their future, but ManBearPig runs by and rips the husband to shreds. The speaker hosts the symposium that leads to the new show "Should We Start To Worry?". Jr. Clarkson remarks that ManBearPig took two of his children and destroyewd hiw their home, then observes that Satan is in the building. Townsman 1 retorts that the man's losses have no exact correlation to ManBearPig. The reporter presents the two prevailing opinions on the reality of ManBearPig. Margaret reveals that her generation made a deal with manBearPig, figuring it wouldn't be alive to see the consequences of that deal. Townsman 2 screams "No! No!" as he runs from ManBearPig, but ManBearPig catches up to him and kills hin. Townsman 3 observes that Satan is dead. At the end of the episode, while the crowd waits for Stan to appear and announce the terms of the renegotiation, Townsman 4 announces Stan's appearance at the window, and Townsman 5 asks if the renegotiation is over. Townsman 6 is dismayed that he'd have to have his rice without soy sauce from now on.

Buddha Box

The PC babies put on their first protests and make a hit song

Patron 2, Patron 1, and Mike; Barkeep

Laborer and Foreman, Record Producer and Sound Engineer

The PC babies take action when both their parents are wearing Buddha Boxes. Their first stop is Crunchy's Micro Brew, where they cry over the names of certain drink descriptions. The barkeep decides to take them off the menu while Mike and the other two try to appease the babies. The babies then go to a construction site to protest the new viaduct over the state, which is financing it, refusing to finance a proposed program on race-relation education. A record producer learns of their protests and invites them to record a new song. He has the sound engineer record them and they both like the results, so the producer takes them to a radio station to premiere the song.

Cartman takes the Doctor's advice to heart

Waiter, Diner, Tele's owner, Pedestrian

The waiter tries to take Cartman's order, but Cartman shoos him away to focus on his phone via the Buddha Box. The diner tells Cartman to lower the volume coming from the phone. Cartman leaves in a huff. Tele's owner says hello, but Cartman dismisses him. The pedestrian sees Cartman enter an intersection and warns him about a car that could hit him. The car merely honks as it whizzes by, so Cartman just gets pissed off and everyone stops to listen.

Buddha Box commercial

Man, Woman and Husband

The man extols the virtues of the Buddha Box in helping him cope with his three kids. The woman extols the virtues of the Buddha Box in helping her cope with her husband's mother - by putting on the box and not talking to her mother-in-law.
The front desk officer from #HappyHolograms returns here in the same role.


Amazon Fuifillment Center

Gruff Worker, Bearded Worker, Beefy Worker, Jeff Bezos, Josh Carter

The first three guests here are some of the Amazon workers. The gruff one is in the carpool with Stuart and Stephen, and butts heads with Stephen about how the strike is affecting their kids' chances at the bike parade. The bearded worker is the first to call out Josh being scooped up by machines, and wonders who the corporate leaders think they are making them work even more carefully than they already are. The beefy worker tries to shut down the factory machinery, but the button he presses doeesn't work. Jeff Bezos is the head of Amazon whose head resembles that of a Talosian. He and the Mayor reach an agreement that, if broken, means bad news for her. Josh Carter is the worker who is bumped around by the machines and ends up boxed and ready to be shipped. He begins to talk in Marxist terms.

Larry Zewiski, Singers

Larry is the older boy with a flashy tricycle, out to impress the girls. Two of the Raisin girls follow him and check out his blue ribbons. The Celtic singers sing about working at the Amazon Fulfillment Center.

The Mall Workers

Mall Workers 1-7

All of thtese workers have been in the darkness of the mall for so long they look like mole people. The first worker is at Wiener On A Stick. The second one may have worked at the mall theaters. The third one worked at Chie. The fourth one seems to have worked at PetsMart. The fifth worked at BathWorks. The sixth seems to have worked at Foot Locker. The seventh seems to have worked at Macy's.

Bike Parade

Mall Worker 8, Driver, Girl, Boy, Mrs. Zewiski

Man 3, Man 4, Man 5, Man 6, Man 7, Man 8

The mall worker isn't immediatly satisfied - fulfilled - with his job, which is just packing a grinder into an Amazon box. The driver is heading to the strike with a bunch of other wtrikers, but gets confronted by Man 4, who is purchasing some Kush for his wife. Man 3 is the first one to show up at Randy's door for some weed. Man 5 wants more than an ounce. Randy won't offer any more, so the man tells Randy he'll just go to the Anderson farm and purchase the amount he wants. The girl is awed by Butters's ultra-fancy bike. The boy is the lucky kid who opens the box with Josh in it - and gets a nasty surprise. Mrs. Zewiski asks her husband where he's going, and he tells her he's going to cross the picket line.