South Park Guest
Biographies: Season 14

Sexual Healing

The Sex Addicts

From back to front:
Billy Bob Thornton, Kobe Bryant
(Former NY Governor) Eliot Spitzer, Charlie Sheen, Michael Jordan, Ben Rothlisberger
Bill Clinton, David Duchovny, Michael Douglas, David Letterman

Therapist, Tiger, Elin

Kyle and Butters replace Kobe when they're introduced. Kobe appears again later in the scene. Tiger is also in class, but either Duchovny or Spitzer is blocking the view. The names in gray are the characters that don't have any lines in the episode, except maybe for greeting Kyle and Butters.
The therapist goes over the dangerous behaviors sex addicts exhibit with the class and welcomes Kyle and "Bummers" to the class. Unfortunately, the therapist ends up explaining that the sex addicts should avoid getting caught if they want those sexual addictions to stop ruining their lives. Kyle retorts that that's the wrong lesson to teach, and the therapist reports Kyle to his superior as a "turd in the punch bowl."
Tiger and Elin are featured in a golf game that incorporates the actual news reports from Fall 2009 about Tiger's car crash and Elin's role in it.

The CDC

Chairman, Expert 1, Expert 2 ,Expert 3

Expert 4, Expert 5, Expert 6, Expert 7

Expert 8, Expert 9 (Dr. Tonton), Expert 10, Expert 11

The CDC investigates the rising level of sexual addiction and determines how deep it has penetrated school systems.around the country. The CDC concludes that sexual addiction starts at 4th grade with a few kids - 5% - and rises to 91% by 12th grade. Expert 9 goes to South Park Elementary to talk to the 4th graders. The wrong answer lands Kyle, Butters, and Kenny in a small office with the expert, who sends them to sex addiction therapy. Kenny dies before the first meeting arrives. Expert 4 shows the chairman the results of the research he's been doing on money's effect on male chimpanzees. The chimpanzee being studied is showerd with lots of $100 bills and starts mating with every female in the enclosure with him, even new mothers, until his mate comes out with a rolling him and beats him down with it. The other chimps laugh at him and throw feces at him. Later on, he apologizes for his behavior at his own press conference. Expert 6 wonders about the losing influence of love, and later on urges the boys to shoot the wizard alien.

Law Enforcement

Secret Service Agent, SWAT Officer 1, SWAT Officer 2 (wizard alien)

SWAT Officer 4, SWAT Officer 5

SWAT Officer 3 is not shown, since you only heard his voice. Officer 1 announces that the entrance to Independence Hall is clear. Officer 2 announces that the right side is clear, but then goes on to suggest that any one of them would do what Tiger did if given the opportunities and temptations Tiger had. For this, he was reported as a turd in the punch bowl by the President and by the Secret Service agent, apprehended, tied up, and dressed to look like a wizard alien. Officer 4 has a bad feeling about the wizard alien. Officer 5 tells the boys to reload.


Priest, Reporter 1, Reporter 2, News 4 Reporter

Father Maxi apparently has some help now. The priest is new, presiding over Kenny's funeral, he recites from a poem, but gets interrupted by Butters, who notices a bush and remaks about its resemblance to the one he saw earlier in class. Two reporters ask questions during the CDC press conference. The News 4 reporter covers the raid on Independence Hall to root out he wizard alien, then after Obama's speech appears again in Washington D.C. to talk to the boys who helped capture the "alien," Kyle and Butters.

The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs

Assembly Hall

Assemblyman 1, Assemblyman 2, Assemblyman 3

Assemblyman 4, Assemblywoman 2 and 1

These Assembly folk discuss the meaning of the book Butters didn't write, while Stan tries to get that book banned for its filthiness. Each of the Assembly folk comes to a different conclusion than the others, but none of the cunclusions mean anything, as the boys wrote the book just for laughs. Stan and friends couldn't get the Assembly to ban it.

Miscellaneous

Female Teacher, Field Reporter, News Anchor, News Anchor 2, Chinese Reader

The Chinese Reader throws up as he reads "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs" and his audience throws up as they hear it. The teacher says the book changed her life. The news anchors and field reporter cover the success of the book. The field reporter and we learn that Butters is planning a second book.

The Today Show, Other Media Personalities, and Frontiers Shoopers

Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira, Al Roker, Morgan Freeman

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, Kim Kardashian, Male Guest, Mr. Needlebaum

Shopper 1, Shopper 2, Shopper 7, Shopper 6, Shopper 4, Shopper 3 and Marsha, Shopper 5

Matt, Meredith, and Al talk to Butters and his parents about his bestseller, and all of them throw up when they remember parts of the book. Morgan Freeman performs a dramatic reading of Butters' second book, "The Pee That Took A Poop,", and once he stops reading, the readers at Frontiers take up the reading and then discuss the book amongst themselves, again reading into it meanings that were not there to begin with. Matthew Broderick answers a question about his wife, Sarah Jessica Parker. Kim Kardashian is massacred with her sisters and a male guest by Shopper 7 when he finishes reading Butters' book and gets it into his head to kill the phonies.
The guest turns out to be Bruce Jenner, the Kardashian sisters' stepfather. The fleeing lady was their mother, Kris Kardashian.

Medicinal Fried Chicken

Billy and the Colonel

Billy, Tommy, Colonel Sanders, Teabag

Tough Boy 2, Tough Boy 3, Billy's Mom

Tommy leads Cartman to Billy Miller, who started a black market for KFC when KFC was outlawed in Colorado. Billy has Cartman perform a few jobs for him, including a deal with Teabag which goes wrong and enables Cartman to keep the money as well as the chicken, then sends him to Kentucky with Tommy to strike a deal with Colonel Sanders, who has Tommy taken away and hung from a helicopter. Cartman returns alone with a deal, but Billy protests that he can't move that much chicken. Cartman tells him he won't be around much longer, then tells him that he told his mom about that F in a social studies test. She comes down and takes Billy away. With Billy out of the way, Cartman takes over Billy's operation and eats all the chicken he sees. One tough boy expresses concern at Cartman eating up all the product, and another one comes to tell him that Colonel Sanders is on the phone. When the Colonel talks to him about what happened, Cartman tells him there was a problem. The Colonel tells him he knew, and reminds Cartman about not fucking him. Cartman gets pissed off and the basement the operation is in is attacked by some of the Colonel's goons. Only Cartman makes it out of the basement alive.


Dispensary Clerk, Dispensary Customer, Methadone Clerk, Nurse

The dispensary clerk tells Randy that KFC is gone. Randy becomes a new customer and orders pot when he can, but his balls get to big and he can't fit through the door anymore. Randy then leads a protest for bigger doors at weed stores. The customer is the first to tell Randy that KFC is gone. The methadone clerk tries to help Cartman get over his KFC addiction, but it doesn't work. The nurse brings test results to Dr. Doctor, who becomes alarmed at the growing number of testicular cancer cases.


Coach, Worker 1, Worker 2

The coach runs the boys through some drills and exercises during soccer practice. Cartman is next to him managing not to participate. The two workers are taking down all evidence of KFC when Cartman arrives to the Salida one with his mom. The second one tells him marijuana is outlawed all throughout Colorado, since there are no low-income areas there.


Player 1, Player 2, Player 3

These poker players ask Randy to share his weed with them. Randy tells them they should nuke their balls in their microwave ovens so they can get big balls like he does and then get medicinal marijuana cards so they can get pot to cope with their testicular cancer.

Townsfolk

Woman 1 (Travis's wife), Woman 2 and 3, Woman 4 and 5

Man 1, Man 2, Man 3

The women marvel at the size of Randy's balls and those of the men they see hopping down the street. The two women who talk to Sharon marvel at the scrotum coat Dr. Doctor made from Randy's excess scrotal skin, and Sharon is pleased. The men debate on what should be done about legalizing marijuana.

You Have 0 Friends


Kip Drordy and his parents, Isiah Jordan

Kip Drordy is a six year old third grader who has a Facebook page but no friends on it. He's waiting for someone to discover him and add him as a friend. Kyle fulfills that role. Kip tells his parents about his new friend and then about all the things they do together, including farming. His parents don't realize that Kip is not doing all this in real life, but online. Meanwhile, Kyle begins losing friends because Kip is on his friend list. He seeks out Cartman's help in fixing this, and Cartman tells him he has to dump Kip as a friend. Kyle resists this, but when Isiiah becomes a Facebook friend, Kyle's dilemma gets worse. At an online café party, Kyle's profile meets up with Isiah's profile. Isiah's profile drops Kyle's profile as a friend, and Kyle has no choice but to drop Kip if he is to have Facebook friends again. Kyle drops Kip, and Kip has 0 friends again, until over 825,000 new friends suddenly pop up on his screen. Kp is happy once again.


Brian (Man 1), Man 2, Dude

Brian is a friend of Jimbo's who commented on Stan's status. He was waiting for a reply, but wasn't getting one. He reminded Stan about this when he saw him on the street. Man 2 is upset that Stan hasn't added him as a friend. Stan says he doesn't know him at all, but the man spits on him and drives off, pissed that he's so easy to ignore. The dude appears on Chatroulette, which seems to have a lot of penises on it. When Cartman and Kyle finally find a face on canera, they talk to it, only to see the dude get up and walk to the other end of his room, drop trou, and start showing his penis. Cartman quickly moves on.


Grandma Marsh and Kevin Donahue, Susan92 and Gary Johnson

Profile 1 (Tom Davis) and Profile 2 (Linda Green), Profile 3, Profile 4, Profile 5

Guards, Profile 6, Referee

The various profiles here interact with each other in the game grid that operates under Facebook. We finally get to see what one of Stan's grandmas looks like, as well as Susan92, the 92 year old woman Wendy was jealous about. Profiles 3 and 4 ingore Stan, while Profile 5 tells Stan that the guards are taking him to the gaming arena, where fates are decided with a round of Yahtzee. The referee calls out the contestants, which are Stan and Profile 6. Stan does battle with Profile 6 and defeats him, and Profile 6 is deleted from Facebook. Stan encounters his own profile in the party it made in his name, and it turns out to be much larger than any of the other profiles. The referee again officiates the match, and Stan defeats his own profile with a Yahtzee again. Stan's profile is deleted, and Stan is relieved that he has no friends again.

200


Tour Guide, Tim Burton, Lead Ginger

The tour guide takes Mr. Garrison's class on a tour of Frederick's Fudge & Candies factory, where Tom Cruise is currently flyfishing, or so he says. Tim Burton would like to be in a world where he isn't typecast as a director who only does movies with Johnny Depp and bad music. The lead ginger leads the army of gingers against South Park and the celebrities in order to get Muhammad's power to not be ridiculed.
201


Soldier 1, Soldier 2, Army Doctor

The first soldier asks Mitch if he doesn't like a little blood. The second soldier reports an incoming RPG. The army doctor tells Mitch he's been (honorably) discharged and so can go home.


Police Officer, Ginger 2, Ginger 3, Ginger 4

The police officer tells the Super Best Friends about the destruction of the town, including the destruction of Casa Bonita. Three other gingers get lines in this episode, with Ginger 2 saying that the head ginger is willing to share Muhammad with the celebrities if they share Muhammad with the gingers.

Crippled Summer


Counselor Steve, Specialist 2 and 3, Frances, Lenora, Mimsy

Lenora and "Elmer Fudd", "Droopy Dawg" and "Sylvester", "Tasmanian Devil"

"Porky Pig", "Pete Puma", "Beaky Buzzard"

Lenora swims in from the lake, but has forgotten a towel, so Counselor Steve orders one be brought to her. Specialists 2 and 3 show their displeasure at Towelie's behavior and occasional absence. Towelie shows up to dry Lenora off, but he's on heroin and so throws up on her.
Nathan has a sidekick, Mimsy, who does everything Nathan asks him to, but not exactly the way Nathan wants it. This often leads to errors that Nathan admonishes him for.
Jimmy has known Frances for some years now and she seems to have a crush on him. Too bad she's on the Red Team while he leads the Blue Team. Lenora is one of the four girls singing in the talent show behind Jimmy. The characters with quotes around their names imitate their real cartoon counterparts.
Counselor Steve is running the day's events at Lake Tardicaca, and is later shown to be the camp director. He often walks by Nathan and Mimsy and asks how they're enjoying the current activity. Specialist 3 is first seen helping Frances light a fire, then later tolks to Towelie after finding him in the woods.
Mimsy plays Mugsy to Nathan's Rocky, while Lenora looks like Tweety Bird a few times in the episode. The Tasmanian Devil appears as a boy in the beginning of the episode, and is later shown playing drums at the talent show.


Cashier, Therapist, Rancho Palos Verdes Counselor

The cashier notices that Towelie has bought a LOT of computer duster. The therapist tries, with Stan and friends, to get Towelie to a treatment center.to get over his various vices. Towelie didn't budge until Washcloth is brought in and Towelie realizes he has a kid - er towel - to sober up for. The counselor at Ocean View Terrace Treatment Center in Rancho Palos Verdes takes Towelie in and treats him. He comments on how Towelie is one of the most addicted towels he's come across.

Here are some characters people say they've found, but which I haven't confirmed: Gossamer (red head with head device), cecil turtle? (Red guy), morocco mole (red shirt with hat and glasses)

Poor And Stupid

NASCAR staff

Spokesman, Announcer, Reporter 1, Reporter 2

Chris and Commentator 1, Pit Crewman, Lowes Pit Boss, Dale Evans

The spokesman is at the South Park mall announcing the upcoming race and whips the excitement up among the fans. The announcer announces the races and reports from the press conference. Reporter 1 asks how the trackis set up, and reporter 2 asks hwo weather might affect the race. Chris his commentator cover the second race and talk to their guest commentator Jeff Hamill. The pit crewman tries to calm Cartman down by telling him how to start the engine and then by telling him that the pace lap doesn't count. The Lowes pit boss warns Patty Hamill about being on an active racetrack. Dale Evens drives #34, which Cartman hijacked in the first race by having Butters tell Evans that his wife had been raped a lot. Evans leaves the car to attend to the situation, and that's when Cartman hops in and takes off. He later flips the car and ends up in the lake.

Drivers

Dale Earnhart Jr., Jimmie Johnson, Danica Patrick, Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, Matt Kenseth

Jimmie Johnson drives #48, which Patty Hamill drives after he's out of the race. Druing the press conference before the race, he discusses how the track is set up. Danica Patrick drives #7. She wants to get back to the subjject of racing during the press conference. Later, during the second race, Cartman stops on the brakes before the race begins and she runs into him, ruining her engine. Somehow, she's by the outer wall later on in the race. Butters tells Cartman to watch out for her car and avoid it. He does, but runs over Danica herself. During the press conference Jeff Gordon discusses how weather might affect the second race, and Dale Earnhart questions whether Cartman is a real driver..


FOX 11 Anchor Tom, Field Reporter, Tony Kornheiser, Security Guard, Jeff Hamill, Patty Hamill

Anchor Tom and his field reporter first report on Cartman's hijack and on the Vagisil he took before getting on the track. They conclude that he's making NASCAR fans look stupid, which Kenny vehemently denies. Tony Kornheiser reports on the ignorant comments Cartman makes on his blog. The security guard checks Kenny's bag and finds a rifle in it, so he keeps both the gun and the bag out of the stadium, but he tells Kenny that rifles can be bought at the gift shop. Jeff Hamill is the founder and CEO of Vagisil. Patty is his Muse, his flame, but she's no fan of his business. She takes over Jimmy Johnson's car and drives it to victory, ruining any publicity Vagisil might have earned from a victory of its own.


Doctor, Short Man and Tall Man, Woman 1, Woman 2, Woman 3

The doctor comes back with checkup results for Cartman and tells him his stunt was the most idiotic thing he's seen a kid do, and it takes the retard cake. Two of the stras from Two And A Half Men comment on how hot a woman is.Woman 1 is the main speaker in the Vagisil commercial, Woman 2 adds her two cents to the commercial, and Woman 3 sees Cartman chugging Vagisil and asks him what he's doing.

It's A Jersey Thing

Real Housewives of New Jersey

Joe and Theresa Giudice, Jacqueline, Danielle, Caroline

Joe, Theresa, and their two daughters move in next door to the Marshes, and the Marshes have them over for dinner. Theresa upends a table during dinner when Sharon tells her her eyes are two wide apart. Joe calms her down, and she tells him she loves him. She runs hot and cold, sometimes seconds apart. Jacqueline, Danielle, and Caroline are three other Jersey women who've moved into South Park. Jacqueline is of Sicilian descent, Caroline shaves her face, and Danielle was being a stupid bitch.

Jersey Shore

Snooki, The Situation, P-Train and Tan Jovi

Snooki appears as a troll-like mosntrosity. She has big elfin ears and short arms, and she moves around in a squatting position. She likes the smoosh smoohsh (sex) and burrowing aruond in food lockers and freezers. She rapes men and boys alike, and runs off when shot at or punched in the face. The Situation is pretty much a pussy, as Randy has him tied up and kicks the shit out of him. P-Train and Tan Jovi are anchormen in Jersey News, the new channel expanding with New Jersey as it takes over the U.S.

Others

Steve "Last Call", Woman in Jacuzzi, Reporter, Jersey Man, Jersey Woman

Julia the Salon Girl, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bar Patron 2, Paratrooper

Steve "Last Call" starts an impromptu party at Sizzler, which includes a Jacuzzi with three people in it. Two of the people are women, and one of them calls for the party to get started. The Jersey News reporter reports from Chicago about the resistance in South Park. When the Jersey folk invade en massed, a Jersey man comments about queefing in South Park while a Jersey woman picks a fight with another woman. Julia runs South Park Salon and turns out to be from Jersey herself. Her business is fire-bombed as one of the businesses started by Jersey folk. During th einvasion, Randy calls varoius people to get their assistance. Arnold says California can't afford to help him right now, then shows off his geographical knowledge by pointing out the two states between Colorado and California. The first bar patron already appeared in W.T.F., so we'll just mention Bar Patron 2, who tells Randy what a Snooki is. The bar patron doesn't know why she's famous either. The paratrooper is a callback to 9/11 and our search for Osama bin Laden: Osama is in South Park courtesy of Al Qaeda, and the paratrooper finds him and kills him on the spot.

Insheeption

Regression Dream Therapy

Pizza Man, Dr. Chinstrap and Pinkerton, Fireman, Fire Captain, Five Experts, and Mr. Yeoman

Matt Hasselback, Freddy Krueger and his wife

Wendy is concerned that Stan has turned into a hoarder, and so gets professional help for him. Dr. Chinstrap visits Stan at his locker and has the class see how a hoarder could be rehabilitated. After the doctor throws out a few things, Stan panics and takes everything back. The doctor sends Stan to Mr. Mackey for some counseling, but Stan finds that Mr. Mackey is a hoarder too. Dr. Chinstrap and his parter Pinkerton talk to Stans parents, Mr. Garrison, and Principal Victoria about the problem Stan and Mr. Mackey have. Randy mentions a man who seems to be hoarding sheep, and so that man is sent to Dr. Chinstrap's office with Stan and Mr. Mackey. The man is Mr. Yeoman, the one shepherd in the pictures above. Once the three begin dream therapy, Mr. Mackey's dream overpowers the dreams of the other two subjects. Randy goes into the lab to try to get his son out, but he enters Mr. Mackey's dream as a butterfly and doesn't do anything but look for butterfly poon. Then the dream experts show up and try to get into the dream after explaining to Sharon how this all works. The experts come armed and firing. They bring Matt Hasselback with them into the dream. When none of them comes out of the dream, Dr. Chinstrap calls in the fire department. A Pizza Hole delivery man comes in and enters the dream to deliver a pizza. Then the firemen go in. Finally, when no ne still comes out of the dream, Dr. Chinstrap calls in the most powerful dream infiltrator ever: Freddy Krueger. Dr. Chinstrap finds him in the forest splitting wood and living with a wife and kids. Freddy says he's retired from dream infiltration, but Dr. Chinstrap convinces him to do it one last time, for the firemen trapped in the dream. Freddy caves in and enter the dream. After the boy Mackey remembers what really happened to him during the field trip, Krueger comes up behind Woodsy Owl and slashes right through him, killing him. After that, everyone wakes up.

Mr. Mackey in 4th Grade, and the Field Trip

Mackey and friends, Billy and friends, Bus Driver. Ranger Pete, Woodsy Owl

Mackey is made to sleep and dream, and he's regressed back to 4th Grade to find the source of his hoarding disorder. Unfortunately, Stan and Mr. Yeoman are sucked into Mr. Mackey's dream/ And so are we, as we witness Mackey (we still don't know his first name) being bullied by one Billy Thompson. In the flashback, Mackey goes to a field trip with his class, and Billy is there ready to torture him in unspeakable ways. The next day, they board the bus and the bus driver hurries them along, taking time to remind Mr. Yeoman that he's a sheep hoarder When they get to Frisco Woods they meet the park ranger Pete and his guest for the event, Woodsy Owl. Later in the day, the regression experts kill Billy and his two friends and assume that everyone will wake up from the dream. When they don't, one of the experts womders if it was someone else caused Mr. Mackey's hoarding disorder. At that moment, Mackey remembers more of his trip - Billy and his friends didn't beat him up - and walks to a cabin nearby. He opens the door and discovers that Woodsy Owl is raping him. He promises to keep all his trash and never litter, and thus finds why he hoards everything.

Coon 2: Hindsight

Coon and Friends

Iron Maiden, Mint Berry Crunch, Mosquito, The Coon, TupperWear, Toolshed, Mysterion, The Human Kite

None of these guys have actual superpowers - well, except maybe Mysterion - but they're trying to fight crime and natural disasters. Somehow, the Coon and Mysterion have put their differences aside to team up with the other superheroes in this picture. Mint Berry Crunch doesn't need to be there at all, since he's just a cereal. Coon attacks Mosquito for no reason, then atacks Mint Berry Crunch when he tries to intervene. Because of this, the Friends of Coon and Friends kick Coon out of the group, but they keep the name, the secret base, etc.

Gulf Residents and Rescuers

Cajun Shrimper, Woman, Gulf Officer, Gulf Fireman, Gulf Commissioner

Rescuer 1, Rescuer 2, Rescuers 3-6, Rescuer 7

The rescuers help out on the Gulf, but their jobs disappear when creatures from another dimnesion appear on the sea and then on land. Rescuer 2 notices Captain Hindsight first. Captain Hindsight tells the rescuers what DP should have done instead of what they did. When the creatures appear, some rescuers, like #7 here, call out to him, but he doesn't appear.

BP/DP Officials And Crew

Tony Hayward, BP/DP Crew on the oil rig

BP/DP Executives in the boardroom

Tony Hayward apologizes every time his company cerates a spill or a portal for creatures from another dimnesion, but each time he says so, it feels more like a come-on. The oil crew realize they fucked up when the drill strikes something hard and oil pours out uncontrollably. The executives wonder how to fix their mess and listen as Hayward outlines a plan to drill on the Moon as well as on Earth.


Captain Hindsight, Butler

Captain Hindsight first appears at the scene of a fire... after Coon and Friends get there. The firefighters prevent Coon and Friends from getting close to the fire due to them being kids. Captain Hindsigh comes down and tells the firefighters how this fire could have been avoided, then leaves. The firefighters pack up and leave while the building continues to burn. Coon and Friends are not happy. Captain Hindsight makes his second appearance on the Gulf, where he tells the rescuers where BP went wrong, then leaves. The Coon has had enough of this and devises a way to blackmail Hindsight. Coon goes to Hindsight's mansion and meets the butler, who shows him to Hindsight's headquarters. Coon tries to get Hindsight to join Coon and Friends under threat of being called a scab. When he fails, he has Professor Chaos dress up as Courtney Love and takes pictures of Chaos with a naked homeless man. He then edits the pictures by photoshopping pictures of Hindsight's face onto the homeless man's face, and then has the pictures delivered to Hindsight.


News 4 Reporter, Oil Spill Reporter 1, Oil Spill Reporter 2

The News 4 reporter is how Coon and Friends first hear of the fire in Downtown South Park. Oil Spill Reporter 1 is on the scene from the time the oil spill appears until Cthulhu appears, and then Oil Spill Reporter 2 tekas over. Oil Spill Reporter 1 wonders along with the people he interviews where Captain Hindsight is.

Coon 3: Mysterion Rises


A Couple, Leader, Clerk, Blonde Girl, Jack Brolin, Injured Man

The couple comment on what a good deed the superheroes are doing for the victims of the Gulf oil disaster, and buy some lemon bars. The leader of the local Cthulhu cult appears as just another customer, but with a weird grin. Later, he's shown in black robe leading the local Cthulhu cult members in rejoicing that Cthulhu has awakened. He and another cult member, Nelson, find Mysterion when he's talking to the Goth kids. He takes a switchblade away from the kindergarten Goth and stabs Mysterion with it, killing him. The blonde girl is among the passengers waiting for a flight to New Orleans. She strikes up a conversation with Coon, but that stops when she begins to ask about Mint Berry Crunch. Coon attacks her and has to be pulled off by one of the adults. Jack Brolin has given up his powers of hindsight and gone back to news reporting when he notices an injured man walking by asking for Captain Hindsight. Brolin asks if Hindsight should have given up his power.

Coon 4: Coon vs. Coon & Friends


Man 1 and Man 2, Justin Bieber, Mrs. Biggle

Alien Man, Reporter, Reporter 2

Man 1 and Man 2 are attending Burning Man 2010, and that's all there is to say about them. Justin Bieber is in convert at Staples Center when the Coon and Cthulhu find him. Cthulhu picks him up and crushes his skull as if it were a bug. We find out that Bradley is Henrietta's younger brother and that Mrs. Biggle is their mother. She wants Henrietta to play with Bradley. The first reporter covers Cthulhu's destruction of Burning Man, while the second one covers Cthulhu's massacre of Bieber and his fans.
The alien man appears in an orb which descends onto the Staples Center parking lot. Mysterion thinks the man is talking to him and is perplexed until the man mentions berries and mint, at which point Mint Berry Crunch steps forward and listens to the man. Just as Superman had a real name other than Clark Kent, so does Mint Berry Crunch have a real name other than Bradley Biggle.

Creme Fraiche

Celebrity Chefs

Guy Fieri, Alton Brown, Paula Deen, Bobby Flay, Jamie Oliver

Mario Batali, Giata De Laurentiis

Guy Fieri starts things off by showing us how to barbeque some ribs till the meat falls off the bone. Alton Brown shows us how to cook a pork tenderloin, but Sharon blocks the food channels during the presentation, so Randy doesn't see the rest of that show. Alton Brown shows up at South Park Elementary later on to serve as host of the cook-off Bobby Flay challenges Randy to. Paula Deen is scheduled to show us how to prepare a meal including deep-fried chicken and chocolate pecan pie. She shows up later as a sous-chef in the cook-off. Bobby Flay hears of Randy's school cafeteria cooking and shows up to challenge him to a cook-off. Jamie Oliver shows up to whine about the unhealthiness of gourmet school cafeteria food.
Mario Batali and Giata De Laurentiis are the other two sous-chefs in the cook-off. They don't have lines in the episode. Giata is really toothy as well as beg-headed and chesty, but Alton Brown didn't mind looking at her cook.

Others

Woman 1, Woman 2, Michael, Rosemary, Shake Weight

Woman 1 and 2 star in the Shake Weight commercial Randy watches and is annoyed by. Michael is the Bed, Bath & Beyond associate who tells Sharon about the different types of Shake Weight available, including the Big Jim (made for males, but a female was seen trying to work with it). Rosemary is the hotel worker who was trying out the Shake Weight when Sharon returned to her hotel room. Rosemary ran out quick, and Sharon was none too pleased with the Shake Weight. Shake Weight with voice assist turned out to be more than the sum of its parts. It not only motivated Sharon to work out with preset instructions, but it also learned to tell how she felt, how to respond to her, and how to say goodbye when its work was done. It also gave two squirts of a cooling spray when a workout was done and change for cab fare, which real Shake Weights don't do, lol.