South Park Guest
Biographies: Season 10

The Return of Chef!

Detective Jarvis

Detective Jarvis is called to the school after children begin reporting strange pedophile behavior from Chef, who had just returned from a three-month visit to the Super Adventure Club. He brings a doll with him to help the kids open up to him, but he begins to do sexually suggestive things with the doll. He doesn't get anywhere with the class.

Dr. Neeland's Office

Woman Patient, Nurse, Dr. Neeland

A woman is waiting to see Dr. Neeland. She gets disgusted by Chef's inappropriate comments to the boys. The nurse comes out and gets Chef and the boys. The doctor takes a look at Chef's ear canal and proclaims his brain pretty scrambled (you know he got that diagnosis from just speaking to Chef). After the boys tell him what Chef loved to do before having sex with children, he tells them to go to the Peppermint Hippo to turn Chef around.

The Peppermint Hippo, revisited

Blonde Stripper, Spantaneous Bootay

The boys return to the Peppermint Club to get the old Chef back, and we meet two new strippers. The blonde stripper is trying to get Chef excited, but that doesn't work. She and Cartman exchange words after he tells her to dance. Chef doesn't get excited until he sees Spantaneous Bootay walk out to the stage and begin dancing. She moves rather gracefully for a huge woman. She buries Chef's face in her breasts and then her ass before letting go. After this, Chef is back to normal... until two darts take him down.

The Super Adventure Club

William P. Connolly, Marksman, Marine, William, Tech

Butler, Security Guards, Darth Chef

The boys are greeted by a black butler when they arrive at the Super Adventure Club. He shows them in. William P. Connolly, Esq. is the current Head Adventurer, so he plans all the trips out for the Super Adventure Club and has to tell people the difference between this club and the regular Adventure Club. He's the guy behind William spitting darts at Chef, tying him down in the Deprivation Room, and reading him the SAC manual. After the bridge tore in two and began burning, the Club approaches the edge and the Marksman kicks a stone down accidentally, and the stone knocks Chef off the bridge. The Marine and the Tech monitor Chef's reconstruction. Two security guards are called in to escort the boys out the door, but Kyle grabs a bat and knocks them both down. The boys excape to get Chef. After everybody left Chef to die at the bottom of the canyon, the SAC goes back to get him and bit him with bionic parts - and he becomes Darth Chef.

Smug Alert


Peter Thompson and Nancy Jarvis, Paul McDonahue and Paulie Beaumont-McCallahan, Alan, Gail and Brian

Brian Thompson-Jarvis, Mindy McDonahue-Beaumont-McCallahan, and two San Francisco boys

These are the people who visit the Broflovskis at their new San Francisco home. All of them are rather pleasant, actually, except for a slight air of pretension which makes them fart and sniff up as much of it as they can before it escapes. The kids are put off by this, but find no other recourse but to trip on acid. They offer Kyle and Ike some, but Kyle and Ike decline until they see their own father sniff up his own fart like a hungry wolf. Then Kyle takes half a hit while Ike takes three hits.


Blonde, Wake Up America Spokeswoman, Ranger McFriendly, Keenan Williams, Haight-Ashbury Man

The blonde talks to Jimbo about the ethics of driving hybrid cars while Stan sings. The Wake Up America spokeswoman is there to congratulate Stan on making South Park the city with the highest percentage of hybrid car owners. Ranger McFriendly warns Stan about the dangers of smug after Stan gets his award - McFriendly also punches Stan in the face for causing this smug to appear. Keenan Williams is South Park News' weatherman who puts out a special Smug Alert and warns the town of an imminent perfect storm. This man in Haight-Ashbury is talking to another man about how European San Francisco feels.

Cartoon Wars, Part I


SNN Anchor, Professor Thomas, Dylan and Sarah, State Trooper

The SNN Anchor brings in the national aspect to the Family Guy Mohammed controversy, even mentioning that millions of Americans, in order not to be targeted by terrorists, will bury their heads in sand so they don't watch part 2 of a Family Guy two-parter featuring the Muslim Prophet Mohammed. Professor Thomas is called in to show the townsfolk how to bury their heads and live. Dylan volunteers to be the one person who won't bury his head, as he'd be the last one, and there'd be no one to bury his head. Sarah tries to stop him, to no avail. On another note, the state trooper is one of the troopers in the police car giving chase to Cartman and Kyle after they ride past it in the wrong direction. Cartman and Kyle are fishtailing down the highway, and the driving officer begins to do it as well. The driver loses control from too much fishtailing and ends up wrecked in the center divider. Surprisingly, the police car does not blow up.


FOX President, President Bush, al-Zawahri

The President of FOX Network has to deal with the Mohammed controversy in the Family Guy two-parter - in part 1, Mohammed is covered by a floating box. He learns that the show's writers want to show Mohammed for part 2, but President Bush flies in to talk to him about that. Bush is trying to convince the FOX President to tell the Family Guy writers that showing Mohammed will cause riots in America's streets, which may not be worth defending free speech for. Al-Zawahri threatens to retaliate if Family Guy shows Mohammed and takes time to comment on the writing on the show, saying how much it sucks.

Family Guy

Peter, Lois, Chris, Stewie, and Brian Griffin

Guests: David Hasselhoff, Soccer Captain, Mr. T

In this episode, the Griffins riff about Peter inviting a former girlfriend to dinner. Each comment is punctuated by a flashback that doesn't have anything to do with the ex-girlfriend. The flashbacks include David Hasselhoff, for whom Peter acted as KITT, Michael Knight's car; a school soccer captain who took to playing Captain and Tenille songs dressed as Captain Kirk and for whom Peter dressed as Tenille; and Mr. T, whom Peter and the Prophet Mohammed encounter selling tea as they walk down the street.

Cartoon Wars, Park II


Network President, Bart Simpson, Trucker

The CBC Network President makes it clear that he makes the decisions as to what airs and what doesn't. He had censored Terrance & Phillip from airing Mohammed on "Mystery at the Lazy 'J' Ranch" and Terrance & Phillip came to his office to complain about it. Bart Simpson, who went unnamed in the episode, wants to get rid of Family Guy as badly as Cartman does. He helps Cartman stall Kyle while Cartman goes to stop Family Guy from airing the Muhammad episode. Kyle has a long talk with him and Bart turns the tables on Cartman. A trucker drives Kyle to the studios after learning why he doesn't have his face in the sand like most everyone else does. The trucker likes Family Guy, so he supports Kyle in his cause.

FOX Studios

Receptionists 1 and 2, FOX Executive, Miss Travis, Mitchell

Head of Programming and fellow Programmers

The first receptionist has Cartman wait along with Bart to speak to the FOX president. Bart leaves after hearing Cartman's credentials (chopping up an older kid's parents and feeding them back to him in a bowl of chili beats stealing a head off a treasured town statue any day. :D). The second receptionist takes Cartman to the FOX president's office. After Cartman talks to the president and his staff, one of the staffers reminds the president what would happen if the episode is pulled. The third receptionsit, Miss Travis, takes Cartman from the president's office to the Family Guy studios. Mitchell takes Cartman from the main office to the writing staff's office, where he explains what the writing staff does. When the episode is to air, the head of programming requests the president's final word - go or no - and the president finally gives the OK for the episode to air. Two programmers have their keys ready in case the episode needs to be aborted, and they use the keys to open the "abort" lid. They remove the keys as soon as they hear the episode is going to air, and sigh happily. The third programmer, who gets to press the "air episode" button, gives a thumb up when the OK is given, and presses the button.

White House Press Corps


Reporters, including ones from TCO and LSX

The reporters here are all asking Bush about the significance of the First Amendment in the Mohammed episode of Family Guy. Some think his administration put the amendment in place, others are wondering if he's going to change it somehow in light of the episode. Bush asnwers them intelligently, which runs counter to the way mass media portrays him.

Family Guy Guests

Waiter, Gary Coleman

The idea balls the manatees come up with involve Peter winning a trip to Mexico with Gary Coleman, who says his trademark line, "Whatchoo talkin' about, Willis?"

Al Qaeda Films Presents

Osama bin Laden, Americans, including George Bush, and Jesus

Osama bin Laden and al-Zawahri's Al Qaeda Films produced an animated short to air as soon as Mohammed is shown in Family Guy. In Islam, no image of Mohammed, positive, neutral or negative, is allowed to be shown. The short has Americans, George Bush, and finally Jesus, crapping all over each other.

A Million Little Fibers

Towelie at work

A waiter and his boss

Towelie is working at P.F. Chang's China Bistro as a waiter, but he's always high and always slow to do his work. The waiter at left complains to his boss that Towelie isn't giving him any support. The head waiter sees what his waiter is talking about and fires Towelie on the spot.

Towelie becomes a celebrity

Publishers at Porcupine Press and Arbitrary House

Oprah and her Aides

Geraldo Rivera and his butler Dimitri, Larry King

Towelie needs to raise money to pay his rent, so he decides to give writing a try. He begins to write his memoirs, proofreads them, and submits them to several publishers, two of whom are featured here. The Porcupine Press publisher rejects the book on the grounds that Mr. McTowelie is a towel and no one would take his memoirs seriously. Towelie changes "towel" and "towels" to "person" and "people" and submits his revision to the Arbitrary House publisher, who's quite impressed with the memoirs. The publisher still wonders if Towelie is a towel, but Towelie prevails upon him that he isn't, so the memoirs go to press.
Oprah gets wind of Towelie's book, reads it, and invites him onto her show, where she asks him a few questions about it. When the revelation is made that the author of "A Million Little Fibers" is actually a towel, Oprah invites Towelie back onto her show, where she scolds him for lying to her and to the American people. She proceeds to lead a lynch against Towelie, who runs as fast as he can. He tries to hide inside a bank, but he can't open the doors. Oprah and her fans surround him, but something happens to turn the fans into hostages and the lynching into a standoff.
That something actually begins when Oprah interviews Mr. McTowelie for the first time - her vagina Mingie and asshole Gary begin to complain that she's giving Mr. McTowelie more time and attention than she gives to them. They hatch a plan to get Oprah fired for believing Mr. McTowelie's story, getting Geraldo Rivera to help them. Geraldo's butler Dimitri tells him that he has a call, and Geraldo goes to answer it. Mingie tells him the truth about Towelie, and Geraldo goes to investigate. Towelie next goes on the Larry King show and Geraldo Rivera calls in to drop the bombshell. Towelie is discredited and Oprah calls him to appear again on her show. Mingie and Gary are confident their plan will now work out, but that plan is thwarted when Oprah redeems herself by challenging Mr. McTowelie's story. After Towelie is cornered at the bank doors, the vagine, Mingie, decides to take charge. It pulls out a gun and takes everyone hostage, promising Gary that they will somehow get away and go to Paris. Mingie demands a helicopter to the airport and a jet to France

Chicago's Finset

A police officer, Lt. Nelson, O'Reilly, a detective.

During the standoff a police officer tries to reason with Mingie, but Mingie shoots him and the SWAT team is called in. A SWAT officer sets a walkie-talkie under Mingie so negotiations can take place, and Lt. Nelson begins negotiating. Lt. Nelson sees that Mingie is one unstable vagina, so he calls on a sharpshooter, O'Reilly, to keep his sights trained on Towelie, then tells him to back off because of the hostages. Towelie gets the idea to slide into the bank under the front doors, open the doors and guide the hostages into the bank and towards freedom. When Oprah is all alone, O'Reilly shoots her and Gary is hit. Mingie comforts Gary as Gary dies from the gunshot, telling Gary they're now in Paris and describing the city. After Gary dies, Mingie laments that life isn't worth living without Gary and proceeds to take its own life. The detective congratulates Towelie on a job well done.

Manbearpig


Al Gore, Cave of the Wind Tour Guide, Steve and Wife

Al Gore shows up to talk to the school about some moster called Manbearpig. No one has heard of that monster before, but Al dresses up as it and tries to scare the boys when he appears at a basketball court they're playing on. He enlists their help in hunting down the monster. They show up at his motel room the next day and talk with him a bit. They are about to head for school when an alarm goes off and Gore declares that Manbearpig has been spotted near a civae. He and the boys go to the cave, the Cave of the Winds, which is a tourist attraction. The tour guide takes them and a bunch of other people through the cave on a tour. Gore tries to alert the crowd to Manbearpig's presence, but the guide knows it was just Gore, so Gore just takes the boys with him in a different direction. The tour guide tells the group about the wind the cave is named for, and then the wind is heard. A woman tells her husband Steven to take a picture of the wind. Gore soon hears the wind. He strikes the cave walls hoping to draw Manbearpig out, but ends up making the cave walls crumbling and sealing the kids behind a wall of rock. Meanwhile, the tour guide leads the group out of the cave before it seals them in, and Al Gore runs out last.


Firefighter and Miner 1, A Ranger and Miner 2, Miner 3

HBC Reporter, Another Firefighter, Miner 4

The first miner shown takes charge of the rescue mission, so he has to plan how to get the boys out, how long it could take, and other logistics. He eventually gets frustrated after the cave gets flooded and he calls the resue mission off. Al Gore shows up again and warns him about the monster that caused the cave-in, showing him the picture. The first fireman asks if that monster is a pigbearman, and Gore corrects him. The second miner asks whom the kids belong to, but the first miner doesn't know. The ranger shown asks about Smuggler's Den after the lead miner tells the rescue team that the boys are most likely in that part of the cave. Al Gore is frustrated that no one believes him about Manbearpig: he says they have to kill it by flooding the cave with hot molten lava. The third miner walks up and asks if that won't kill the boys too, and Al says the boys are already dead.
An HBC reporter shows up to cover the rescue mission. After the cave is flooded, the lead miner calls off the rescue mission. The second firefighter is surprised that the mission is being called off, then asks about the boys being alive still. The lead miner says nothing could have survived the flood. Gore is pleased by this as the boys struggle to get out. Cartman's added weight from the fake treasure sinks both him and Kyle, but somehow... Gore offers a eulogy to the four boys at the funeral, but some rocks nearby begin to move. The fourth miner notices and stands up. Other miners look over and cheer when the boys emerge from the side of the cave. Gore quickly takes credit for saving them, but Stan rebukes him, telling him he knows why he's friendless. Gore doesn't take Stan seriously and dances away in superhero mode, with a towel around him acting as a cape.

Tsst


Nanny 911 Nanny Stella, Supernanny Jo, Doctor At Mental Hospital, Cesar Millan

Liane knows that treating her son as a buddy has caused him to get unmanageable, and she doesn't know how to regain control. Mr. Mackey suggests that she try some nannies out - nannies from TV, like... Stella from Nanny 911. She shows up to rein Cartman in by reasoning with him, but that doesn't work: he reasons with her by exploring her love for children but lack of her own, and apparenty gets her right, as she becomes speechless and Cartman goes after her for never having found someone who'd have kids with her. Jo, the Super Nanny, is next, but she's reduced to being in a mental hospital eating her own shit after just three days of dealing with Cartman. The doctor shows Liane where Jo is, and Liane declares that she's run out of ideas. The doctor has one more suggestion.
Cesar Millan shows up and tries to rehabilitate Cartman the way he does dogs: he tries the alpha dog approach. He ignores Cartman at first, then stifles him by nipping him on the neck every time he interrupts the conversation. This irritates Cartman, then frustrates him after Cesar shows Liane how to calm Cartman down and how to get the upper hand. Cartman runs away... for four hours. He tries to move in with any of his friends, but each one rejects him for quite good reasons. He then returns home expecting his mom to have learned her lesson, but she has instead taken to painting with Cesar supervising her work. Cartman decides to kill his mom as she sleeps, then tries to get the other boys to kill her for him as he appears elsewhere at the time of her murder. No one volunteers to help him out, so he does it himself. Before he jabs his mom with a large kitchen knife he gets some pangs of conscience, resulting with his good and bad sides fighting for his soul. He passes out, but several weeks later, a thinner, more conscientious Cartman appears, and Cesar is pleased with him. For Cesar, this means his work is done and he's on his way home. For Liane, this means she has a new friend to replace Cartman and Cartman can be the son he should be and she didn't have. When Cesar tells her he's going home, her hopes are dashed, and Cartman is the only person she can turn to for comfort - she'll give him whatever he wants if only he goes to Madame Butterfly with her on Friday night. Cartman knows this and smiles, hugging her as Cesar walks out of their lives.

Make Love, Not Warcraft

Nelson, USGS geologist

Nelson looks much different here than he did in "Goobacks" He sees Randy at the computer and asks him if he's working on sediment analysis. Randy tells him he's participating in an MMORPG and goes on to show him the character he's playing as and what it means to him to be playing that character. Later in the episode, Randy calls up Nelson to borrow his computer, as Stan has taken the family computer to ...somewhere. Nelson turns him down.


World of Warcraft Support Line Representative and her boss

The rep is one of many people who field calls from frustrated players wondering who is killing their characters. Her boss walks by to check up on her and she tells him of yet another call, then advises that he tell the guys upstairs about this crisis.



Blizzard Gaming Entertainment President and his board members, including Jim and Thomas

These seven men have to figure out how to stop the rogue player from killing everyone at will. One of them mentions the Sword of a Thousand Truths, but he's reminded of its power and danger. He responds with the prophecy that there may be players in the future who could handle this weapon, and now seems to be the time. The Presdient and Member 1 (with graying sideburns) go in search of that player, who goes by the name of lovestospooge. They can't find him, but since Randy is his father and a new WoW player, they entrust him with the sword. He goes to Best Buy to enter the game and give the sword to Stan.


Best Buy Greeter, Boy at Best Buy demo, The Rogue Player

The greeter at Best Buy points out the demo table to Randy, who quickly goes over there and shoves the boy out of the way. The rogue player plays so much he hardly moves anymore to keep killing other players and go up the levels. He's the one who strikes fear into player and executive alike.

The SP kids, Randy, and the Rogue as WoW characters

Stan (Staniscool), Kyle, Cartman, Kenny

Token, Clyde, Craig

Jimmy and Timmy

Butters (on the left)

Ike, Randy (Valcorn), The Rogue

The Mystery of the Urinal Deuce


Frank and Joe Hardly, and Police Officer; Mr. Hardly

The Hardly Boys are called in twice to solve two different cases. First, a police officer calls them in to solve the mystery of the deuce in the urinal, but clues in that case lead them to the case of the World Trade Center conspiracy. Both these boys get hard, raging clues about the cases and follow their clues... wherever those clues lead them. :D Their father appears after killing the 911Truth man. He got info about the man from his sons, the Hardly Boys, and lays out for Stan the role of the U.S. government in creating 9/11 truth sites so it can get the truth out while denying it officially.


George Bush's staff - Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice

President George W.Bush has been seen before, so he doesn't need to be seen here. These are just three members of his staff. Condoleezza Rice doesn't have a line here, but it's nice to see how she would look in SP form. Donald Rumsfeld has a few lines. Dick Cheney tries to kill Stan and Kyle with his crossbow on Bush's order, but misses, and hits a marble vase behind them. The arrow hits a fire alarm, which turns the sprinklers on. Some aides rush in and the open doors give the boys a chance to escape.

Leroy, a new classmate

Leroy shows up in this episode to talk about his frog, which he doesn't name. No word as to his becoming a regular background character. He reminds me a bit of Kyle's cousin, Kyle.

Man from 911Truth.org

This man is the guy Stan and Kyle go to about getting Kyle off the hook about both 9/11 and the deuce in the urinal - but he's not a lawyer. He gives Kyle two large jars of anthrax and says he'll use them as evidence the government was behind 9/11. Chicago police rush in after monitoring the house and arrest the man along with Stan and Kyle. The trio is given to the secret service, which presents it to Bush at the White House. Bush takes it upon himself to kill the 911Truth guy, but he turns up alive later on, after Stan and Kyle pass a McDonald's he's exiting. Kyle notices, then tells Stan. They chase the 911Truth man into an alley and corner him. He pleads for them not to kill him, but he's killed anyway, by ... Mr. Hardly.

Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy

The School

A Hall Monitor, A school boy, Miss Stevenson

Cartman's tenure as hall monitor begins when the hall monitor before him calls him to the principal's office. Cartmn resists, but Principal Victoria calls him to the office moments later. Cartman has no choice but to go to the office. Once there, Principal Victoria tells him it's his turn to be hall monitor, and Mr. Mackey tells him the responsibilities that come with the job. Cartman likes the fact that he gets to exert real authority, and he doesn't waste any time putting on an outfit for the part. His first victim... er, citation... is a boy he sees wandering around. The boy turns out to have a valid pass, so Cartman lets him go. When the boy challenges the need to stop him in the first place, Cartman just kicks him away. Then he sees a wad of paper that turns out to be Ike's and he learns that Ike and his teacher are dating. Miss Stevenson gets in trouble when Cartman finds her in the hall kissing Ike. He reports her to Principal Victoria, who calls the police on her. The police laugh, since they don't consider this a child molestation case, but arrest Miss Stevenson at Principal Victoria's insistence. Miss Stevenson posts bail, holds a press conference to announce that her actions were fueled by alcohol and that she'd go to a drug rehab center. She undergoes therapy and leaves the center. She goes to Ike's house to kidnap him and take him to Milan, but Kyle is alerted to her presence by some noises coming from Ike's room. He alerts his mom, who tries to convince the police to arrest Miss Stevenson again, but the police are again reluctant. She and Ike end up at the Hilton, but they head for the roof when she hears police sirens approaching. She tries to get Ike to join her in eternity, but Ike turns back at the last minute, leaving Miss Stevenson to fall to her death.

Other People In The Story

Car Salesman, Reporter, Lawyer, Rehab Therapist

The car salesman tells Cartman to get out of an SUV he's in, which Cartman does, as the video he's shooting is almost finished. The reporter breaks the story about Miss Stevenson's indictment, while the lawyer says that Miss Stevenson has agreed to drug rehabilitation. The therapist treats Miss Stevenson for alcoholism and releases her.

The Hilton Hotel

Concierge, Receptionist

The receptionists greets Cartman and his crew, but the conceirge comes in and tries to stop the crew from looking for Ike. Beth sprays the concierge with bear mace, and the concierge begins to throw up ..

Dawg's Crew

Leeroy, Earl, Beth, Kyle, and Cartman the Dawg

Cartman Dawg the Hunter and his crew. Leeroy, Earl, and Beth are the people Cartman rounds up before bringing Kyle in for the hunt for Miss Stevenson. Below the row of characters in the show is a picture of the real Dog and his partner Beth. Beth weilds the bear mace while Earl drives and Leeroy assists. Kyle is in the hunt for his brother and nothing more.

Hell on Earth 2006


Demonius and Zazul

Demonius and Zazul are two of the six elders who sit before Satan at a half table. Demonius acts as Satan's financial conscience, expressing concern at the cost of the party and the logistics of making and transporting a life-size Ferrari cake to the W hotel. Zazul takes charge of the Ferrari cake mission, calling forth three of the most evil souls in Hell: Jeffery Dahmer, Ted Bundy, and John Wayne Gacy. Zazul dresses like a school girl for Halloween, but is forced to change costumes when Satan finds it hotter than his own Crow costume.

The Three Murderers

Jeffery Dahmer, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy

Zazul calls these three Bozos to have a Ferrari cake made for Satan. They find the bakery Zazul refers them to - Napoleon Bakery - and pick up the cake. Unfortunately, they do have a habit of killing, so they end up killing the bakers one by one. woth Gacy killing two of them and Dahmer killing the third. Gacy also kills someone outside who offers to help them, and Dahmer has sex with the man's intestines. Bundy becomes the leader, having the other two position the Ferrari cake onto a flatbed truck, taking charge of the situation when Gacy kills the Good Samaritan, and directing the creation of a new cake when the original one falls off the crane and shatters all over the road. In the original airing, Bundy kills both Dahmer and Gacy before he dies from a stab wound Dahmer inflicted on him, but in subsequent airings, Dahmer kills Bundy with a knife and Gacy kills Dahmer with a rolling pin.


Cardinal Mahoney and the Presiding Bishop

The Catholic Church hears about Satan's party and plan to crash it, as the Church wasn't invited to it. The resident bishop at the cathedral plans to call the fire marshal so the fire department could break up the party, but learns that the fire marshal is at the party, so the clergy procures Knott's Berry Farm wristbands and try to crash the party. They are refused, since their wristbands are the wrong color, but once Satan opens the doors to everyone, the priests return. The one notable thing about the priests in this episode is that some of them have naked kids on leashes, which is a commentary on the continuing existence of pedophile priests in the Church even after the Boston pedophile priest scandal came and went - it seems the Church can't or won't get rid of them, so they're just an accepted fact now. In real life, Cardinal Mahoney is often criticized for not turning over documents to the district attorney relating to pedophile priests under his care.


Biggie Smalls and the airline ticket agent

Biggie Smalls is just one of many celebrities who are summoned into kids' bathrooms on Halloween as kids test the urban legend of summoning a dead person back to life when saying that person's name three times to a mirror. He's summoned first by Butters, then by Kyle, then by Randy, and each time he begins shooting at people. He misses each time. After Kyle summons him, he has Kyle and the other boys buy him a ticket to Los Angeles, but disappears before he has a chance to get on the plane. The ticket agent hands Kyle the ticket Biggie Smalls needs to get to Satan's party. Butters completes the trip to Los Angeles and then borrows a mirror belonging to a catwoman. He says Biggie's name three times quickly, and Biggie appears next to him. He's upset that he's been summoned yet again, but looks around and realizes that he's at the party. He invites Butters in, and Butters gladly accepts, seein' as he's going to get grounded anyway.


Princess Diana and Adolph Hitler, Frank Sinatra, Steve Irwin

Princess Diana appears dressed as Lara Croft. Hitler appears dressed as the "Can you hear me now?" cell guy, carrying his phone everywhere pretending to test it. Frank Sinatra tells Satan about a guy dressed as the Crocodile Hunter, and later on calls Satan a jerk for saying "Hell On Earth 2006" was all about him and not the guests. Steve Irwin appears at the party unaware that he should be in costume. He appears with the stingray that killed him still attached to his chest. At first Satan assumes it's some person dressed as Irwin and tells him that it's too soon to be dressed that way. When Irwin asserts that it's in fact him, Satan has him kicked out for not coming in a costume. Irwin may have returned later, though, as Satan threw open the doors for eeryone to enter, wristband or no.

Go God Go


EV Games Clerk, Richard Dawkins, evolutionary scientist; The Triscotti family

After Cartman loiters at EV Games one too many times waiting for the Nintendo Wii to come out, the clerk reminds him that pacing in front of the store isn't going to make the Wii arrive any faster. There's a new girl in class, but some of what she's learning disturbs her enough for her to tell her parerts about it. They go to school to talk to Principal Victoria about it - it seems the girl is bothered about the science Mrs. Garrison is teaching the class - Mrs. Garrison doesn't like to teach about evolution, so she teaches the worst version of it she can find. Richard Dawkins is an evolutionary scientsit who comes off much sweeter here than he is in real life. He's brought in to teach evolution while Mrs. Garrison is asked not to teach it because she doesn't know enough about it to teach it well. He finds Mrs. Garrison quite attractive - she is full of fire, full of life, full of spunk, so bold, with such balls, the most outspoken woman he met. He falls for her and soon they're having sex.


Unified Atheist League, its leader Shvek, a medic, and an analyst.

United Atheist Alliance and its leader

the Allied Atheist Allegiance (sea otters) and its leader

The UAL finds Cartman's frozen body and thaw him out. The medic makes sure the process goes smoothly, and Shvek introduces himself. He tells Cartman that someone he knew created the UAL, the group Shvek now leads. Cartman only cares to know if a Wii is available, but he's told it doesn't exist anymore - it's a museum piece in the 26th century. The tower the UAL is in is attacked by the UAA, whose troops kill all the UAL members with laser-guided syringes and capture Cartman. They bring him to their ship to show off to the Allied Atheist Allegiance, which is the sea otter species. Its leader announces the age of the sea otter.

Go God Go, Part XII


UAA Maintenance Guy, UAA Woman, UAA Tactical Officer, K-10/KIT-9/COCKA-3

The maintenance man has trouble connectiong the Nintendo Wii to the float screen in Cartman's room. The woman comes in to talk to Cartman a few times - to introduce him to K-10 and alert him that the UAA is under sttack. The tactical officer reports to the UAA Leader. K-10 becomes Cartman's pet, friend, and conscience throughout the episode, warning him several times not to mess with the past, lest the present change in unforeseen ways. Cartman doesn't notice at first that K-10 had morphed into KIT-9, but once he notices, he puts that knowledge to good use. When he goes home, it's KIT-9 turned into COCKA-3 who sees him off.


Blavius, the Wise One, Young Shvek

Blavius is the second sea otter leader to appear. Cartman tricks him into taking him to New New Hampshire so he could get the Wii... and escape. Blavius had considered that possibility, so he put false information into the crystal Cartman was wearing, thereby fooling the UAA into going to some clam fields the AAA was supposed to be mining, but the AAA wasn't going to be there. The AAA was going to lay in wait until both the UAL and UAA were out in the open, then destroy them both. When Cartman begins to fiddle with the past, the present changes until Blavius joins the other two leaders in harmony, ready to see Cartman off to his own time. Before this happens, the Wise One tries to impart his wisdom to his fellow otters, but they stone him to death. He reappears when Cartman fiddles with the past. Shvek is succeeded by his son, Young Shvek, who is indistinguishable from his father except in the number of bulbs attached to his suit.


Boys using the Crank Prank Time Phone, Man from the early 20th century

The first three boys are in the commercial for the Crank Prank Time Phone, calling people all over the past. The other two boys become Cartman's target when he has K-10 search Zeebod's sales records for someone who bought a phone from there over the past week. He neutralizes the boys with bubbles and runs away with the phone. Those two boys had crank-called the man from the early 20th century to tease him with a few jokes.

Stanley's Cup


Mr. Jarvis, Tow Truck Driver, Judge

Stan has his first paying job - delivery boy for the South Park Gazette, which is a newish paper, being just nine years old. Mr. Jarvis reprimands hm for being late on delivering the paper. Stan explains that one of his pedals was broken, but he got it fixed and is ready to continue delivering the paper. A tow truck appears and the driver takes Stan's bicycle away, and Stan is out of a job. He goes to the Park County Government Center to try to get his bike back, but the jodge he sees tells him he won't get his bike back until he gets another job and pays the fee. The judge then makes several appearances throughout the episode acting as a preview/trailer announcer, letting us know what Stan will face and what he'll have to learn. He sounds a bit like the announcer in "The Biggest Douche In The Universe"

Park County Pee Wee Players

2 (Ike), 3, 6, 7

8, 10, 13 (Nelson), 15

Gavin Throttle and the Adams County team, Mr. (Jack) and Mrs. Brown

Pee Wee Stan, Pee Wee Kyle, Denver Goalie, Pee Wee Announcer

Of the eight Park County players, only Ike and Nelson are significant here. Ike is here as the ringer, an expert player brought in to boost a lagging team's chances at winning a game. Nelson has cancer and goes into the hospital as Stan tries to figure out how to talk about cancer to the team and to Nelson's parents. Nelson puts his hopes on Stan, which means he'll die if Stan fails. Stan tries his best, but he's put up against insurmountable odds, which guarantees that Nelson will die. Gavin Throttle is a driven Adams County coach who talks big, but when the game finally arries, his team stumbles as often as Stan's does, and there's no score at the end of the game. Stan and his father dream about Stan's shot as a Pee Wee player where he has the chance to score the one and only shot left, but the puck doesn't make it into the goal. There was no Denver goalie there, as that goalie left the goal to get his underwear changed (he pooped his pants.) Kyle is in the game as well, while the announcer does commentary for the game.


NHL Official, the Colorado Avalanche, Red Wings Coach And His Dad

The NHL official comes to Stan and tells him that the Denver Pee Wee team didn't show up. Stan figures his team could win by forfeit, but the official denies him that. Instead, the Avs show up and say that Park County could finish their game with the Red Wings. Stan's team goes on to be beat up by the Red Wings, who win 32-2, and his players now hate him. The Red Wings celebrate and father and son coaches give eachother heartfelt hugs.