Kenny's Wisdom

By Wild Willie Westwood

Sometimes, when Kenny says things along with other kids, those things don't show up here.

Kenny's deaths and the dialogue around them are here, too.

June 20, 2001 — There was once a thread at South Park Studios entitled "Kyle and Hot Tamales??" The following post is from that thread, and it's good know both that my site is quite accurate, and that it's not perfect.

January 18, 2000 — As the BBS has been corrupted several times since the post below was made, you won't find it there anymore.

Posted by: butters @ 06-19-2001 19:43
That's odd. I put up a post under this topic earlier. I even hit submit twice. I guess it was too long.
Actually, the only thing I talked about was how accurate the SP Scriptorium is regarding the references. It's almost as if Willie has access to our rental records at the local video shops.
Matt wants the fans to figure out what Kenny says on their own. Sometimes he really is just mumbling, so it's funny when people try to figure out what he's saying. Nevertheless, the accuracy some of these people have is amazing. The same goes for Trey and the references. That's when fan sites like the Scriptorium come in handy for the big SP fans.
There are some minor inaccuracies and reaches, but by in large, the Scriptorium is amazingly accurate.

And so, this page is now linked from the Script Guide rather than the front page.

Thanks, Butters, for the notice about the references. :D I couldn't have done them without the half dozen fans out there who occasionally proofread the stuff I have, and the occasional fan who sends me a correction. At the bottom of the page is a very special mention, retrieved from Beef-Cake's archive at the Wayback Machine.

Deaths on the show | No deaths to report

Deaths off the show

Spirit Of Christmas I: Jesus Vs. Frosty

  1. Exit: Killed by Frosty
  2. Kyle: Oh my God, Frosty killed Kenny!

Spirit Of Christmas II: Jesus Vs. Santa

  1. Exit: "Oh, no!" [Decapitated by Santa's sherukin]
  2. Kyle: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!

Pilot Episode 101 - Cartman Gets An Anal Probe

  1. See Episode 101 - Cartman Gets An Anal Probe, in the "Deaths in the show" section.

Jay Leno In South Park, Thanksgiving 1997

  1. On Jay's chin: "It looks like a wedge of silicone!"
  2. Exit: Killed by George Washington bust, thanks to Jay's chin
  3. Stan: Oh my God, Jay Leno's chin killed Kenny!
  4. Kyle: You bastards!

The 12th Annual American Comedy Awards
March 16, 1998

  1. Exit: Electrocuted while tuning the antenna
  2. Stan: Oh my God, the American Comedy Awards killed Kenny!
  3. Kyle: You bastards!

South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut - Theatrical Trailers

Each of these is heard as Kenny takes his hood down, in what turns out to be the end of the movie.

  1. Trailer 1: I'm glad I can take this- [lowers his hood]
  2. Trailer 2: Hey guys, so what?!

South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut

  1. Stan calls Kenny out, and Kenny gets dressed: "Coming!"
  2. Stan asks Kenny if he wants to go to the Terrance and Phillip movie: "Yeah, dude. Come on, let's go."
  3. His mom asks him where he thinks he's gong: "To the Terrance and Phillip movie."
  4. She tells him he has to go to church: "But Mom, I wanna see this movie!"
  5. She warns him what will happen if he goes to see the movie: "…Okay!"
  6. As he and Stan walk down the street:
    Don't you know? It's like a perfect winter day.
    And that I'm glad I can say.
  7. Before the boys finish with "U S A": "Kick-ass!"
  8. After Cartman, Kyle, and Stan use "fuck" to illustrate that they can't say it in school, he chimes in: "Fuck."
  9. Cartman doubts that one can light a fart: "Yeah, you can."
  10. Cartman denies it: "Yes you can. You can too light a fart on fire."
  11. Cartmand bets him: "Yes you can. Check it out." [farts, lights it, and laughs]
  12. The salt pours out on him: "Ooowww."
  13. Hours after the operation Dr. Gouache wakes him: "Holy shit, dude."
  14. Dr. Gouache asks how he's doing: "Like a sick animal."
  15. Exit - Dr. Gouache tells him he has five seconds to live: "What?!" [a baked potato explodes in his chest]
  16. Stan: Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
  17. Kyle: You bastards!
  18. ACCESS DENIED: "What?! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! What the fuck?"
  19. He touches the beam wall, and it singes him: "Ow! What the hell? Wait!" [jumps back]
  20. When he meets Satan he says, "Oh my God!"
  21. He's strung up and being pulled apart: "Ow. That hurts. Ooowww!"
  22. He's surprised to find Saddam so familiar with Satan: "Huh?"
  23. When Saddam gets horny: "Hey, what the fuck?!"
  24. He sees Saddam soothing Satan: "Huh?"
  25. He discovers Satan's plan to take over the world: "Huh?"
  26. When Kenny goes to Cartman as a ghost he says, "Hey, dude."
    "What's the matter? You can't be afraid of me."
    "Yes, it's Satan! He's coming right now!"
    "That's right, and he's gonna bring Saddam Hussein with him!"
    "Well, they're both gonna come right here right now!!"
  27. He comes across a sobbing Satan: "What's wrong?"
  28. He sees beyond Satan's front: "No, what's wrong, dude?"
  29. When Satan confesses: "Why don't you just fuckin' leave him?"
  30. Satan decides to leave Saddam: "Good for you!"
  31. Kenny returns to Cartman: "Cartman, can you deliver a message for me, please?"
    "Just tell them that they're coming right now."
    "Yes, they're coming, right now! They're coming!"
    "I'm telling you for the last time: THEY'RE COMING!!"
  32. Saddam tells Satan he's better seen and not heard: "Satan, you've gotta do something!"
  33. Satan grants Kenny a wish: "I want everything to go back to the way it was before."
  34. When Chef says that he'll go back: "I know, but I've learned somthing today. In the end… [talks some more] …and I knew I had to do it for all the lives in the world."
  35. No need to tell Kenny's last words.
    1. Trailer 1. I'm glad I can take this- [lowers his hood]
    2. Trailer 2. Hey guys, so what?!

The 1999 Emmy Awards

  1. Exit: The Emmy falls on him.

Kenny's Dead video, Chef Aid 1999

  1. When Stuart sends him on his way to Las Vegas: "Okay dad, I'll do my best."
  2. After winning the jackpot at the slots: "Yeah!"
  3. After the cashier blows him a kiss and hands him his winnings: "Sweet!"
  4. After being hit by the dealer's poker: "Ouch!"
  5. Exit: After Kenny Casino opens: "Hey you goys, I'm rich! I've got my own-" [is struck by Master P's Caddy, with Chef driving.]

The Gauntlet, MTV 2000 Movie Awards

  1. Exit: [Stabbed by Russell Crowe] (Ow!) [Crowe shoves the corpse off with his boot]
  2. Stan: Oh my God, Russell Crowe killed Kenny!
  3. Timmy: Timmih!